Expiation - Network

(just voice. someone drank so much. please, he doesn't look his best, but his energy is as good as ever.)

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the... I'm still not set on a name! So, right now, it's the I Drank Too Much This Weekend, Dazai Osamu show! If you attended the party, you are a champion! We should do this more often! If the woods weren't creepy-- unless, of course, that's your deal! Maybe a bonfire? Beach party? Cocktails? I'll even bartend! Ah, maybe I am still coming down. If this was your first time drinking, please, make sure to drink a lot of water, in tiny sips, and eat bland food! Don't upset your stomach, drink right! Anyway, let's see what we have for today...

Ah, yes, I've received a suggestion from someone probably very ugly, and friendless, and probably stinky, that the host should be changed! After debating with my associates, me, myself, and I, I've decided that's not possible, I'm so sorry! Please, feel better soon.

So, next up! We got fridges now, yadda yadda, snake people didn't eat anyone, don't go into the forest, but also, if you do, take some people, don't die, the basics. If you attempt to destroy the statues, they just get fixed perfectly, so I guess you can take that as an invitation to wreck the statue rather than someone else! Use it as a drama partner! Live your best life, so vandalize to your heart's desire. Remember, you are already paying for one crime! What's anoth--


Also, in line with our request from last week, several people wanted to know whether they're assholes. I'll read them for you, and you give your opinion, but I have to say... This is not looking too bright.

"I actually spat on someone's drink during the party, am I an asshole?"

Yes, actually.

"My husband cheated on me, so I stole her lover's jewelry and run off with our pet dog. I feel bad."

Mmmmmm, what do you think, Chosen? Please, tell us your thoughts! New arrivals, this happens once every-I-Felt-Like-It, so feel free to leave suggestions, comments, and talk around with your fellow criminals as we uncover the truth! Who's an asshole? If you say 'you', you don't have an ounce of creativity!

(in the background, one can hear "dazai-san, remind them about club signups!", the cute voice of our little aldrip sister, kotone... dazai giggles a little, an 'okokok' leaving him before he returns.)

Yes, also! Don't forget to come to the Club Building, and sign up for the clubs! Especially the magic one, for some reason that I don't really know, but that one!! Enjoy hobbies, make friends, start writing a Coup d'Etat, cook delicious meals, and take rabbits out of top hats, whatever you feel like!

Thank you and good evening!

(some might recognize him, some definitely won't, but here's a bandaged man, with his palms together under his chin, a smile, and a very energetic voice. one, two, three...!)

Good morning, citizens of Aldrip! My name is Dazai Osamu, coming right to you with a newly scheduled entertainment option! This is the first take of my radio show, which I'm yet to name! If you have suggestions, I'm open to hearing them, leave them anonymously, or tell me who you are!

Here, we will solve problems, talk about current events, and discover things about our community! Please, if you may, leave what's weighing in your hearts to me, and I'll see what we can do about it! Name or no name, we are all welcome here. Let's see, let's see...! Ah, yes! I have a single one, but I will let you decide on the answer for today! A-hem.

(and this is where he picks a paper, a pair of glasses that definitely doesn't have any properties in the lenses, clears his throat, and he begins:)

"I hate my roommate, and I would like to annoy them as much as humanly possible. Do you have any tips and tricks for me?"

Well, the people have spoken! What is your take, Aldrip? What would you tell this poor soul?

See you soon, on the next episode of Unnamed Radio Show, by Dazai Osamu!