(video) A RADIO SHOW APPEARS, TAKE ONE.

[nullificates]

(some might recognize him, some definitely won't, but here's a bandaged man, with his palms together under his chin, a smile, and a very energetic voice. one, two, three...!)

Good morning, citizens of Aldrip! My name is Dazai Osamu, coming right to you with a newly scheduled entertainment option! This is the first take of my radio show, which I'm yet to name! If you have suggestions, I'm open to hearing them, leave them anonymously, or tell me who you are!

Here, we will solve problems, talk about current events, and discover things about our community! Please, if you may, leave what's weighing in your hearts to me, and I'll see what we can do about it! Name or no name, we are all welcome here. Let's see, let's see...! Ah, yes! I have a single one, but I will let you decide on the answer for today! A-hem.

(and this is where he picks a paper, a pair of glasses that definitely doesn't have any properties in the lenses, clears his throat, and he begins:)

"I hate my roommate, and I would like to annoy them as much as humanly possible. Do you have any tips and tricks for me?"

Well, the people have spoken! What is your take, Aldrip? What would you tell this poor soul?

See you soon, on the next episode of Unnamed Radio Show, by Dazai Osamu!

Comments

audio, no visual

[overtid]

[ Though he might recognize his voice.

Even though this is moronic... ]

Get your own room or swap for a roommate you don't hate. Either way, leave the current one alone.

[nullificates]

Ah, if it isn't sir-get-shoes-on! Look at that!

You're not satisfying the answers to this survey. Try again! I'm sure that beneath the stoic, there's something we can send to this soul in need of aid!

video

[baldrshand]

I would... tell this poor soul to talk to their roommate about better ways to live with each other? It's all fun and games until you forget that you hid raspberries in someone's boot six months ago.

[nullificates]

Raspberries in the boots, you said?

(listens to only what he wants to listen to, dazai osamu.)

Audio

[quizpersona]

Oh! Oh! Kill the roommate! That'll be really annoying AND it'll also show the roommate how much you're thinking of them aaaaaaalll the time.

[It's kinda obvious who the roommate is so it's more annoying he's decided to play along honestly.]

[nullificates]

OH, BUT NIKOL, WHAT IF THE ROOMMATE IS SO SMALL AND WHEN THE PERSON COMES TO KILL THEM, THEY WON'T FIND THEN? WHAT MUST THAT PERSON DO, NIKOL?!

[video]

[chicken_kun]

[BARTY'S MOMENT HAS COME]

Get a fish. A recently-caught fish. Actually, a bunch of little ones, it's way more annoying - anchovies or something. Now, hide 'em. Weird places. Inside a lamp, under the back corner of the rug nobody moves, in their shoe, so on and so forth. Get creative! Then, just wait for nature to take its course. Although, don't hide 'em where the smell is gonna get to you, of course. Always best to do before you're gonna be out for a few days, like our last little jaunt.

[nullificates]

Not a great idea, I will say, the point is to annoy them, not to die together! The asker wouldn't be able to get rid of the smell, either!

lights! camera! video! also an incredibly unnecessary 1/2

[galling]

[ there does not exist an icon in his repertoire that illustrates just how hard he was laughing in the background...

but okok, here's a raised hand and a good sport: ]

Yoooooo, Anonymous Caller #5 reporting in!!

[ except he's showing his whole-ass face on camera... and he's the only idiot in a blindfold in this community, so that anonymous caller thing is kind of moot. ]

Personally I've found that misplacing laundry and leaving incomprehensible notes that lead them on a scavenger hunt across time and space to retrieve the missing pieces only leads to petty attitudes and active animus. Which is frankly kinda a downer when you live with the guy and he's also the one who's been here long enough to collect enough allowance to feed you!!

That said, trying to make everything you say vague and cryptic after the fact is always a good time. You can promise "I promise to never touch your tacky ties again..."!

[galling]

And then you lapse into a long, lingering silence while they realize you never promised anything about keeping out of his underwear drawer.

audio

[theleadingman]

Does it truly count as 'audio' if we can see you?

[He's focusing on the important bits, here.]

As for your query, leaving laundry and other such things about is usually a very short route to domestic unhappiness, though I can't imagine why you wouldn't simply find a new living situation.

[nullificates]

Of course it does. You make the meaning of things, after all! A visual radio, why not? Why not?

Maybe the asker likes domestic unhappiness!

video

[murderingjustice]

[Radio Show?? Excuse but his ex-celebrity senses as tingling.]

I take it that there's a reason why you don't just move out or switch roommates?

[nullificates]

You'd have to ask the asker! Please, stay on task or find a problem for us to solve!

audio

[twelfthsong]

Wouldn't the simplest answer just be to leave if you hate your roommate?

[ As for pranks, well... ]

If you're trying to harmlessly prank them it would depend on what annoys them. Everyone has different levels of tolerances.

[nullificates]

We'd have to ask Non-Dazai Osamu, sir! The Mystery Asker!

Everything is annoying, according to this ominous being!

Audio

[darkdisgrace]

[Chuuya has been rather uncharacteristically silent for a fair bit of time as Dazai makes a clown of himself, mentally noting certain ideas and considering his own unique spin on them.

Dazai is going to find tiny amounts of sand in his socks tomorrow, for starters.]

Your 'Anonymous Asker' should probably look at their choices, because some might find it rather pathetic how intent they are on annoying the shit out of their roommate. Obsessed much?

It might come back to bite them in the ass, for that matter.

[nullificates]

That sounds like a them problem, Anonymous Roommate!

Do you think said Anonymous asker isn't going to take care of their own shoes now? We all have ears, mister Naka-who-ra!

video;

[orphne]

Dazai-san, it isn't very nice to ask other people to help you annoy him.

[Isn't he supposed to be the adult here??]

[nullificates]

Who said it was me! There are other hateful people! I'm sure of it!

(who said that.)

audio

[themistburns]

[When she speaks, her voice is slow, her word choice deliberate.]

If they are that against having someone, they should stop sharing spaces with the other person.

If they are determined to truly make the other annoyed, they should ignore their very presence. Many cannot take being ignored.

[nullificates]

Oh, that's classic. Complete ignore or annoyingly go 'IS THERE SOMEONE HERE'?

Audio

[sisterlyshield]

[Kisara doesn't have the courage, or akin to, to actually own what she might be inclined to say about all of this. That is to say, surely she could benefit from some advice as well. She's not sure her situation isn't so specific that certain people would know exactly who she is, however.

Maybe someone else will benefit from this. Or it'll be a huge disaster. Who knows.]

If I am hearing this right, you are intending to provide an... advice column to the community and to let everyone weigh in on their opinion? I have to wonder if this is the right thing to do for someone who might be a bit more inclined towards privacy.

Also, with regards to this note in question, if one dislikes who they have been staying with, they could just have their own place. I believe Aldrip's inn has more than enough space for such an arrangement.

[Silly Kisara and her logic.]

[nullificates]

I don't know who you are. You can just text! Texting works! You can talk to me privately and I will weigh in on another program!

Ah, that isn't the question, is it? Please, pertain to the problem at hand.

Audio

[killtohero]

Kill them!

[What, it's a solution, right??]

[nullificates]

Someone is taking this seriously! How?

[nonbinding]

[Dazai Osamu. Really. That’s an interesting choice of nom de plume.]

Get to know them more than anyone else. They won’t stand you.

[nullificates]

(it's his real name, and he won't get it if someone assumes it's a fake one. like nanami did. even if he didn't tell dazai about it...

but, oof, this man is correct.)

Ooooooh, someone is playing for the WIN! Please, tell the audience - how would you do that yourself?