dazai osamu radio show, #...4???????

[nullificates]

(you know that voice. you know it. you simply do.)

Good afternoon, Aldrip, ladies, gentlemen, everything in between, clowns, twats, twits, everyone, gather around, this is the Dazai Radio Show! As you know, blablablabla, we fought some strange things, got some gadgets, went to the desert, talked to a very handsome fairy man -- (dazai's voice becomes muffled, as he speaks into the distance,) did someone even get his number? For no particular reasons-- No? Ugh, really?! Fine, fine. Anyway, that is not what I was going to get at! Today, we have no news, but instead, let's get to our roots! This is our advice program. Need help with a girl? I'm here for you! Need help with a boy? Get better taste! Fufufufufufu!!!!!

Want to prank your idiot roommate so he can't ever reach for the sugar?! I got you! Want to build a death trap above your bed?! I got you! Ah, let's hear what the community has to say! Please, Aldrip, speak! We are all here for you!

Comments

[murderingjustice]

yet you stay in such relationships

[nullificates]

which?

[murderingjustice]

with chuuya-san for an example.

[nullificates]

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

[murderingjustice]

don't "ew"-me, asshole

[nullificates]

definitely ewing you

whatever you think you know you really don't

gross

[murderingjustice]

you two don't exactly stay quiet about your relationship.

[nullificates]

oh yes i have dreamed and plotted to kill chuuya ever day since i was 15 and he has a book of punishments for when i'm a bitch to him ranked from kindness to the worse this is common knowledge

[murderingjustice]

[Huh.. Sounds familiar]

yet you two only don't live together but also share a bed.
and are in partnership of sorts.

must be hard when you want the person you hate the most.

[nullificates]

ah, projection, the weapon of the weak

[murderingjustice]

oh shut it
there's nothing to project, you idiot

[nullificates]

should i name you and we can stop playing chicken?

[murderingjustice]

you think I'm not aware of you knowing my identity?


go ahead.

[nullificates]

child, in this case, if you truly want my advice in an honest manner, don't you think you gotta give me like two bottles of whiskey and talk to me in a place that isn't this one?!

[murderingjustice]

stop calling me child

take the whiskey out of Akira's pay check.

[nullificates]

mmmmmm no

alright, you're coming to see me? i'm actually on a mountain top!

[murderingjustice]

fuck no

still injured, remember? i'm not allowed to leave the inn. doctor's orders.

[nullificates]

then i even gotta go to you?!

fine.

[murderingjustice]

file complaint to the guy who didn't finish their job properly.

[nullificates]

ok done. can i come or am i unwanted

[murderingjustice]

since when has that mattered to you?

come in you freaking paradoxical asshole.

[nullificates]

god why are you so obsessed with me!!!!!

(wait, just to be an asshole, he'll answer a message--)

[murderingjustice]

i'm not
you're the one who wants to see m

[nullificates]

(okay, finally. this time, the whiskey is solely his. he enters, stretching arms and holding the bottles above his head.

he's already so damn familiar with the place.)

Hey, Aaaaaakechi-kun!!!!

[murderingjustice]

[He really is. Should He and Akira invest in a separate room just for Dazai?

Also, ugh. These bottles he keeps bringing are starting to pile up.]

Ah. Hello Dazai-san, how was your walk here?