a serious report for ONCE

[nullificates]

(for once, he's not smiling. there's none of his sunshine-y, toddler-like disposition, this is some serious shit.)

As you hear this, do not hang up. This is not a radio show edition, but rather a report. My name is Dazai Osamu, and where I'm from, I'm one of the detectives of the Armed Detective Agency - an institution focused on solving crimes considered too violent or difficult for the metropolitan police to handle, usually pertaining to supernatural events, or ability users.

I am disclosing this as I have information that is of public interest. As some of you know, certain individuals have been inflicted with markings upon their body, and as far as I am able to tell, they all relate to the personal stories of an individual. They do not come alone though. The symptom that has been most observed is a desire to roam the forest, as it repeats itself. I urge that if you must go to the forest, you do not do it on your own. I believe this is the source of the curse, after all.

Secondly, there has been some mental effects as reported, and I would also like to urge you to not approach Nikolai Gogol, the man with long white hair and clown attire, at this time for your own safety, and keep a fair distance as much as you can from him from all directions if possible. Sorry, dear, I'm petrified of you!

(he's not, but alas, he is putting his homie on blast, either way? please, don't mess with the murder clown who has pocket dimension abilities?)

Furthermore, I put forward my own assistance on the matters at hand. I myself am an ability user, and while I won't explicitly explain all the minutia of what I'm able to do, I possess a nullifying ability that has been proven to work on the current issue at hand, so if you feel like you need grounding or if something goes too out of control, please call me, so I am able to nullify it for you until you are safe.

Hopefully, next time I come to speak to you all, it's much more fun than this. Take care of each other and let me know if help is needed.

Comments

voice;

[iravehementi]

You certainly seem to be watching people. A habit of yours?

[nullificates]

Some of my own people have been afflicted, I must say. That aside, I have two pair of working eyes and an inquiring mind.

(and booze.)

[iravehementi]

How many?

[Eyes or people? He doesn't immediately specify.]

[nullificates]

Enough for a detective to make a case.

(bitch, please, he cagey.)

[iravehementi]

Enough for the population to be concerned?

[nullificates]

(A GOD-KNOWS-HOW-LONG-LATER:)

Concerned enough for me to expose my actual identity and my own ability. Take it as you will, do what you want, I'm really not your real dad.

[iravehementi]

Have I struck a nerve?

[nullificates]

Not at all! Did you wish you had?

[iravehementi]

I was asking some simple questions. If I were attempting to bother you I'd hope that I'd do a better job.

[nullificates]

Ah, no, you did not bother me, but you are not obligated at all to follow or trust my information! If you rather ask questions rather than listen, who am I? Fufufufufufufufu...! Do as you like! Tell me later how it went!

[iravehementi]

I am asking questions precisely because I am listening.

[nullificates]

Good! Good luck!

[iravehementi]

I see I am wasting my time with you.

Very well, I shall seek my own answers.

Action, because I can

[darkdisgrace]

[And while Dazai is busy making his PSA, Chuuya takes the opportunity to... disappear, apparently.

He's wandering in the direction of the forest, again. Good luck Dazai.]

[nullificates]

(ah, shit, fuck, shit. he has never worked this hard in his life. he only has two damn hands. and he just offered them.

he manages to catch the glimpse of the man's hat from the window, leaving the inn, except the direction and the walk just don't feel right. he'll come back to this later.

a spring, and dear lord, what did he just say!! don't wander!! once he catches on to chuuya, he takes a moment to watch whether it's safe to approach. he knows how the man breathes, thinks, talks, walks, falters, and corrects it. he's waiting on a clue.)

[quizpersona]

[Chuuya's pathing will disappear suddenly and without a trace as Dazai manages to catch up. That additional variable, or rather the whodunit, will be obvious. Gogol waits just until he sees Chuuya enter the detective's line of sight again before he grabs the redhead at the elbow to pull through The Overcoat.]

Caught you.

[darkdisgrace]

Thanks.

[Gogol grabs Chuuya, and Chuuya goes willingly, which is certainly not Chuuya's usual demeanor. The overcoat is an excellent escape plan, at the very least, if unusual.]

a legit actual tag don't at me

[nullificates]

Motherfucker.

( )

[quizpersona]

[The strong grip he has lightens to a more casual hold once he realizes Chuuya doesn't plan to escape.]

Well then, shall we? ...If I was going to guess,

[He smiles wide but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. Both visible for once. That gaze bores holes in the sure signs of Corruption.]

You and I have the same destination in mind!

[darkdisgrace]

[Chuuya meets that smile with one of his own, the red marks along his cheek twisting it into something a little more sinister feeling. It's certainly a look, and the fact that there's awareness in his eyes is perhaps more terrifying for some than otherwise.]

We do. You know the way, I trust? I haven't managed to get far until now.

[quizpersona]

[Terrifying to witness and yet he takes the opportunity to hook his arm around Chuuya's at the elbow as they go for their totally innocent little stroll. It'll condemn them both to continue even if one of them begins to hesitate—the other will still walk.]

Ehe, do I? Maybe I do. SIKE! I absolutely do and you'll get further this time guaranteed.

Dazai— [There's mirth in his voice now. It's so soon to be mocking said man's psa.] did say not to go alone and the great news is we're not, are we?

Text

[quizpersona]

Just for meee? You shouldn't have!

[@ him directly next time Dazai!!!]

[nullificates]

heeeeeey hot stuff! mind giving me my partner back? i'll give him back in a bit!

ah, or! or! you can kidnap me too! i'd love that.

[quizpersona]

Whoopsie-daisie. Did I do that? Uh, well... No can do!?

[Even if he wanted to.]

Are you very alone and vulnerable right now~? Beee honest.

[nullificates]

you owe me a new pair of shoes, that's all i'm saying!

ah, maybe over a nice dinner? i'll even cook!

[quizpersona]

It's certainly a nice offer. Very enticing.

But it's a bit late to turn around now don't you think?

[nullificates]

you're going to make dinner late, but it's never too late.

you owe me new shoes. i'm mad at you.

[quizpersona]

Mad at me! Already?! But I haven't done anything.

[ ...Yet. Dazai you're too smart to not know it's a "haven't done anything terrible yet."]

Anywayy I do believe I have places to be so that's it for now. Toodaloo!

[superstring]

What's so important about this Nikolai Gogol?

[nullificates]

Dangerous not inflicted by anything, extra dangerous when he is.

[superstring]

What can he do?

[nullificates]

All that you need to know is that it's a spatial dimension ability. He can zap you out of anywhere, or appear anywhere.

[superstring]

He is not the only one who can do such things. Surely there is something else that poses actual danger.

[nullificates]

He's been kidnapping others to the forest, and being weirder than usual.

[superstring]

Do you know what he's doing with those he kidnaps?

[nullificates]

Taking to the forest and probably confusing the living shit out of them.

[superstring]

It does not take much for that with some of those here. Do you believe any of them were harmed?

[nullificates]

I don't think it's impossible.

[superstring]

But you don't know.

voice

[parasaito]

[When he first met the Gogol, the clown had a funny reaction when Saito introduced himself as a detective... Perhaps this guy be one of the reasons.

But more importantly, maybe he can use this situation to his advantage.]

Do you take requests? There is someone I'm worried about. I want to know if they've been branded or not.

[And don't ask him why don't you ask/check on them yourself, because... it's complicated.]

[nullificates]

Who is it? I would need a description, too, if I don't know them.

[parasaito]

[Saito feels extremely tempted to send the cat picture just to test the man's reaction, but figures it could jeopardize his chances of getting what he wants. It is a super serious issue, after all!]

Her name is Mizuki Date.

[Description: An ogre in the guise of a tsundere, eighteen-year-old girl.]

She is... your regular pipsqueak teenager with superhuman strength and a bad attitude. [Now, more serious.] Ah, as for her noticeable features, she's got long cyan hair she usually wears in pigtails and is missing her left eye. She might have found a replacement for her broken prosthetic eye by now, though.

[nullificates]

Ah, I'll take a look, but whether I'll tell you this information directly is a decision I'll make another time. Why aren't you asking her yourself, or noticing these things yourself, anyway?

[parasaito]

... And if I paid you in advance for your detective services? Would you be more willing to share whatever information you gather?

[Seriously, come on... he needs to know!]

I would have asked her myself if she weren't taking her tsundere act to the extreme, and ignoring all my calls and messages.

[There is, of course, more context that he'll conveniently leave out.]

[nullificates]

Do I look like a man who cares about money? I'm absolutely not, but I'll look into it.

Just so I find out why you're being ignored! I'm sure you're not innocent, see? Ah, curiosity will pay for you, nothing to worry about!

[parasaito]

Well, that's reassuring to hear. [/deadpan]

If that will put your worries to rest... [(and make you do your work—)] She's been ignoring me ever since we had this really bad argument a while back. Even ran away from the inn room we shared. I get it that she's going through her rebellious phase, but there's a limit to how she should make her adoptive father worry. Considering what is going on...

[Cue the feigned sigh.]

[nullificates]

Oh? Argument? About what? Ah, did she agree to this adoption?

I'll look into it, I've already said it.

(and touch her so she tells him the deets!!!!)

[parasaito]

[About him deceiving her.]

About her attitude, of course. Just the kind of thing you'd expect from a rebellious teenager. She was also the one who started it, mind you. Tried to throw a vase at my head. [At least the latter is true.]

And yes, she did agree to the adoption. It happened long before we even got here, years ago.

[If Dazai does succeed in cleansing her and ends up finding out Saito is just a big liar instead... well, at least it was worth a try!]