osamu "vodka aunt" dazai (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
nullificates) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
expiationnet2023-05-18 08:26 pm
nullificates) wrote in expiationnet2023-05-18 08:26 pm
a serious report for ONCE
(for once, he's not smiling. there's none of his sunshine-y, toddler-like disposition, this is some serious shit.)
As you hear this, do not hang up. This is not a radio show edition, but rather a report. My name is Dazai Osamu, and where I'm from, I'm one of the detectives of the Armed Detective Agency - an institution focused on solving crimes considered too violent or difficult for the metropolitan police to handle, usually pertaining to supernatural events, or ability users.
I am disclosing this as I have information that is of public interest. As some of you know, certain individuals have been inflicted with markings upon their body, and as far as I am able to tell, they all relate to the personal stories of an individual. They do not come alone though. The symptom that has been most observed is a desire to roam the forest, as it repeats itself. I urge that if you must go to the forest, you do not do it on your own. I believe this is the source of the curse, after all.
Secondly, there has been some mental effects as reported, and I would also like to urge you to not approach Nikolai Gogol, the man with long white hair and clown attire, at this time for your own safety, and keep a fair distance as much as you can from him from all directions if possible. Sorry, dear, I'm petrified of you!
(he's not, but alas, he is putting his homie on blast, either way? please, don't mess with the murder clown who has pocket dimension abilities?)
Furthermore, I put forward my own assistance on the matters at hand. I myself am an ability user, and while I won't explicitly explain all the minutia of what I'm able to do, I possess a nullifying ability that has been proven to work on the current issue at hand, so if you feel like you need grounding or if something goes too out of control, please call me, so I am able to nullify it for you until you are safe.
Hopefully, next time I come to speak to you all, it's much more fun than this. Take care of each other and let me know if help is needed.
As you hear this, do not hang up. This is not a radio show edition, but rather a report. My name is Dazai Osamu, and where I'm from, I'm one of the detectives of the Armed Detective Agency - an institution focused on solving crimes considered too violent or difficult for the metropolitan police to handle, usually pertaining to supernatural events, or ability users.
I am disclosing this as I have information that is of public interest. As some of you know, certain individuals have been inflicted with markings upon their body, and as far as I am able to tell, they all relate to the personal stories of an individual. They do not come alone though. The symptom that has been most observed is a desire to roam the forest, as it repeats itself. I urge that if you must go to the forest, you do not do it on your own. I believe this is the source of the curse, after all.
Secondly, there has been some mental effects as reported, and I would also like to urge you to not approach Nikolai Gogol, the man with long white hair and clown attire, at this time for your own safety, and keep a fair distance as much as you can from him from all directions if possible. Sorry, dear, I'm petrified of you!
(he's not, but alas, he is putting his homie on blast, either way? please, don't mess with the murder clown who has pocket dimension abilities?)
Furthermore, I put forward my own assistance on the matters at hand. I myself am an ability user, and while I won't explicitly explain all the minutia of what I'm able to do, I possess a nullifying ability that has been proven to work on the current issue at hand, so if you feel like you need grounding or if something goes too out of control, please call me, so I am able to nullify it for you until you are safe.
Hopefully, next time I come to speak to you all, it's much more fun than this. Take care of each other and let me know if help is needed.
no subject
no subject
[Seriously, come on... he needs to know!]
I would have asked her myself if she weren't taking her tsundere act to the extreme, and ignoring all my calls and messages.
[There is, of course, more context that he'll conveniently leave out.]
no subject
Just so I find out why you're being ignored! I'm sure you're not innocent, see? Ah, curiosity will pay for you, nothing to worry about!
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If that will put your worries to rest... [(and make you do your work—)] She's been ignoring me ever since we had this really bad argument a while back. Even ran away from the inn room we shared. I get it that she's going through her rebellious phase, but there's a limit to how she should make her adoptive father worry. Considering what is going on...
[Cue the feigned sigh.]
no subject
I'll look into it, I've already said it.
(and touch her so she tells him the deets!!!!)
no subject
About her attitude, of course. Just the kind of thing you'd expect from a rebellious teenager. She was also the one who started it, mind you. Tried to throw a vase at my head. [At least the latter is true.]
And yes, she did agree to the adoption. It happened long before we even got here, years ago.
[If Dazai does succeed in cleansing her and ends up finding out Saito is just a big liar instead... well, at least it was worth a try!]