expiationnet

Nowhere else I'd rather be. [he smiles and raises the glass in salute] Cheers. ] and sips at the grape juice, making a face] God, I miss wine.

[maybe one day...]

Sandwiches?

[ God, it's worth it for that smile. Ed cheers the air happily back, though he has to disagree about the wine. ]

Mm... Think I like this stuff better.

[ It's so sweet?? Sweeter than the grapes themselves. Though without the warm alcoholic burn wine has, but rum and brandy are better for that, anyway.

Clearly in a better mood just that easily, the reminder of the sandwiches this time has Ed exhaling a huff of acknowledgement as he drains the rest of his glass, sits back up on the couch, and sets the glass aside to grab for his sandwich supplies instead. ]

Y'know you can get bread here that's already sliced? It's perfect for this kind of thing.

[ He pulls out a loaf wrapped in plastic and sets it on the table, followed by the rest of the contents of the bag: sliced ham and turkey and three different flavors of sliced cheeses each wrapped in waxed paper, a glass jar of grape preserves, and another glass jar of a tan, buttery substance. ]

It's incredible isn't it? [and since Ed has budged up to leave room, Stede situates himself beside him to see the process, and that the sofa is short enough so that his knee bumps into Ed, well, that can't be helped.]

This place is amazing, hot box, cold box, temperature control, sliced bread, magic. [he wiggles his fingers]

I kind of miss the ship, but I bet there's so much about this land worth exploring.

[ Seems like Stede was doing perfectly well sitting in that chair, which makes him moving to sit on the couch with Ed that much more exciting. Or distracting. Distractingly exciting. It's a real struggle to take his attention of Stede, the brush of his knee and the closeness of his warmth and nice smell, and even when Ed's turned back towards the table, palming open two slices of bread and layering cold cuts in the middle, he's not thinking about food at all, unless you count eating up the man sat beside him.

Incredible, amazing, magic. He agrees with all those things, though it takes a minute longer for Ed to apply them to Aldrip, or wherever they are. ]

There's ships here too, I've heard tell. And pirates thereabouts.

[ So like, he could fit right in? Not that he particularly cares to. Ed spent a lifetime building a reputation. Doing it all again sounds even more tedious than living the thing. But even if he and Stede were just to live in this place... Ed's hands still and he looks out towards the middle distance. ]

It's just... weird, though. You know? None of it makes sense.

[ He looks over at Stede, expression twisted with confusion. ]

Being accused of crimes on little slips of paper, and then told we're "chosen," given free meals and free lodging, and treated like we're celebrities, in a country no one's ever heard of, with weather that doesn't change how it should. Can't help wondering if I'm not dreaming all of this. Or maybe I died, and this is what death is like.

[wait. What? Yes that other stuff is important. Existential crises, meaning of life, whys and howfors and all that lovely stuff but-! Stede grasps Ed's shoulder until the man looks at him and feels like he's trying to catch his breath as the amazing idea sweeps over him.]

Ed... Ed! We could be pirates. Out there! Having adventures! Gather a crew! Sail or even just hoof it around the world! We could do it!

[he gives Ed a little shake] We really could!

[ Ed's grabbed by the shoulder, and his heart leaps in his throat, and he looks at Stede like in those honeyed eyes there might be the answer to all of those dour questions about the purpose of this new existence.

And then Stede talks about being pirates, and Ed blinks at him. ]

Okay. [ Fucking... okay, but like— ] Yeah, mate, of course we could. We are pirates. Pirate captains. Co-captains, even.

[ And he doesn't mean to go dashing Stede's dreams or being a raincloud across that sunshine smile BUT LIKE— ]

Point is, there's something bigger going on here, you know? Can't quite wrap my head around what it might be, but someone somewhere is fucking with us.

Edited 2023-06-06 20:00 (UTC)

So we fuck with them back! As hard as they can take it and come back for more!

Actually I was planning on doing that before... well... nevermind, but now that you're here it'll be twice as easy. We won't let them get under our skin. We'll show them what it's like to mess with two seasoned adventurers like ourselves.

I mean right?

[ Sometimes Ed wonders if Stede actually listens to the words he says, or if he has some kind of immunity to the sound of his own voice. It takes Ed a whole three seconds to shake that visceral image out of his head and actually hear what Stede is saying.

Ed huffs at the insane optimism, that coming from anyone else would be absolute idiocy. But if anybody could pull one over on death and dreams themselves, it'd be Stede Bonnet. He's the only magic Ed's ever seen. Shoulder rolling in a half shrug, he concedes. ]

Well... reckon if anyone were to turn this place on its head, it'd be us.

Exactly. [he bumps his knee lightly against Ed's]

And... [well returning back to his earlier statement] I mean...all of this...the crimes and everything else, I don't think we're dead. It feels more like a fuckery.

[ The knee-bump earns Stede a small smile from Ed and a bump of the ankle back, but the reassurance is less than convincing. Ed's a mastery of fuckery, after all, whatever the fuck is going on in this place feels way over his head. But also: #doubt ]

'Cause you know what feeling dead is like? This could be it, mate. Accused of a crime and waiting to be sentenced for all eternity. Sounds like a kind of hellish afterlife to me.

Oh I ...guess I never thought of it that way.

[he doesn't want to say he doesn't find it hellish or- well definitely doesn't now with him here as well, but he also doesn't want to contradict him just in case they're not on the same page]

Let's hope not. I wasn't done back ...alive.

[he clears his throat]

So that's a sandwich is it? Wow!

[ Ed's thoughts are round about the same. Feels more like dreaming than dying, but he's not about the say that and make things weird. Weirder than he already has.

Also, he'd completely forgotten about the sandwich he'd assembled and was still holding, until Stede's reminder. ]

Mm-hm. Handy, yeah? And no flames required. Never knew being a cook could be this easy. Kind of takes the art out of it, but it tastes nice.

[ He takes a bite of the sandwich he's made, assuming Stede would rather pick his own fillings, and then, still with a mouthful, nods in the direction of the lone pastry. ]

Where'd you get that little delight of yours, anyway?

Well we already know you'd be a great cook.

[oh he is just going to help himself to liberal doses of bread and peanut butter and jam so that it's fairly leaking off the bread]

Oh that? I swiped it. [he grins, hoping Ed doesn't ask any follow up questions]

Was in disguise and all, even cooked up a fainting spell. Oh! Would you like to see my mustache?

[ Shouldn't really mean anything; compliments never do anymore. For some reason, coming from Stede, compliments feel like a gift. Ed huffs, letting himself be occupied with his sandwich until Stede's explaining the origin of that pastry, and Ed's eyebrows jump. ]

Fuck off, no you didn't.

[ Said with awe and a creeping grin that turns into a throaty giggle. ]

Let's see it, then.

Oh yes I did! [and then he'd gone back and paid because he'd felt bad but only for half because he was also broke, hence the fainting spell, but never mind]

Right away. Here hold this. [have a sandwich, Ed] And I'll just go to the boudoir and pop into something a little more comfortable. [he wiggles his eyebrows]

And by that I mean I keep it in my nightstand for emergencies. Won't be a moment!

[ Ed takes the pb&j as he's told, and it's not until after Stede's sauntered off that the wheel in his head starts turning enough to wonder why he's holding two sandwiches? Couldn't've just put it down on some of the waxed paper? More troubling though is how he's picturing Stede in a moustache and robe and nothing else. Seriously, two sandwiches is the least of his concerns.

He finishes his own off in the interim while he's waiting so, you know. There's one problem solved, anyway. ]

[after a few moments he comes back out, dressed all in black, looking completely unrecognizable.

When glances at Ed and pitches his voice low]

Why, hello, young man. Have you seen a fantastically cool pirate around?

[ Okay, well that's just about the opposite of what Ed was picturing, and thank fuck for that. He smiles wide, eyes glittering for a fraction of a moment before his expression falls to one of shock, and he sits up straighter as if startled. ]

Pft, don't know where this "young man" you're talking about is, but there happens to be a fantastically cool pirate right here.

[ He makes a sweeping gesture towards himself with the hand that's not still holding the pb&j. ]

Bad luck though, you just missed another fantastical cool pirate who was sharing lunch with me just a minute ago. Went the way you're coming from, maybe you've seen him? Gold curls and honey-brown eyes. Best-dressed guy you've ever seen, and makes it look effortless. Dashing as fuck.

[you're lucky he's doing a bit or that might have pulled him up short! Gold hair and honey brown eyes? Honey brown? Really? Also best dressed, well not these days though ordinarily he probably put too much effort in being flawlessly put together. And dashing?

He tries to gather himself even though he's flushed pink at the compliments]

O-oh well, I'm sorry I missed him. But...well, you're here so... [he pulls another mustache from his pocket and holds it out] Why not...try it out. [and then he realizes the problem. A mustache over a mustache isn't much of a disguise.]

[ Yeah, totally just done for the bit. Though, Ed's part in the bit, playing himself, involves a smug smile that only turns warm and fond at Stede's blushing and stuttering.

Ed's eyes light up at the sight of a spare moustache-glasses combo. ]

Here, hold this a second.

[ He trades Stede his sandwich back as he takes the proffered disguise for himself, and with obvious enthusiasm, shoves them right on his face. He squares his shoulders while feigning a softer voice. ]

My my my! Well, look who's here! My good friend— Fuck, did you give me a name for this disguise?

[he can't help but grin as Ed plays along. He's always a great sport about this sort of thing, probably the only one Stede has ever really met besides his children.

As for a name...]

Ah... what about... Horatio!

[ The feeling's mutual. Everyone's always been so gloomy around him, Stede's playfulness is a breath of much-needed fresh air. Though, that name... Well, whatever Stede's into. ]

Ah yes, my good friend Whoreatio!

[ He elbows Stede in the ribs and leans in to whisper conspiratorially at his shoulder. ]

How's business been, eh? Putting that moustache to good work?

Edited (gdit html) 2023-06-14 16:20 (UTC)

Ah... [there seems to be some miscommunication, but never mind]

You know it...er... [alright calling him Hamlet would be... somewhat problematic] Romeo.

[does that work? is it cool?]

I've beguiled, and wiled and light fingered a few things too. Can't keep anyone off me. [he chuckles and tweaks the end of the mustache] Yourself?

[ For a moment, Ed looks just as confused by this new choice of name. He's never even been to Rome. Where's Stede coming up with these weird names? Well, whatever. He's still happy to play along, grinning like he's heard a secret at Stede's description of himself. He's not cool at all. He's better than cool. He's perfect. ]

Ah, you know me, mate. Just a humble mustachioed gent from across the sea.

[ He bows deeply in reference to himself while trying to remember: what do the Italians do? ]

Eating olives and writing poetry and shit.

[ Nailed it. ]

Hey, maybe you could teach me some tricks of your trade. A light fingering and all that, hm?

Edited (someday i will write a tag that doesn't need editing) 2023-06-15 15:39 (UTC)

Oh, poetry, Ed, can you really? [he wouldn't be surprised. Ed can do anything. But! Breaking character]

Er, I mean, I can certainly show you some fingering, my dear Romeo. [wherefore art thou Romeo when Ed is so much better?] Do you happen to have anything on you that can be fingered?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject