expiationnet

Y-yes... [it's a bit distracting, that little kiss, that sends warmth through his hand, his arm- Ed's beard is soft, though Stede knew this. There is so much about Ed that is unexpectedly soft, there's even tenderness in the rough callousness of his palms and it seems to mean more than simply being...appreciative.]

Ed... [he doesn't know what to say. There are no words to fill that silence or express whatever it is inside him. So he leans forward and kisses him again instead, wanting him close in all the ways that counted, but slow, leisurely, taking the time they might not have later when his sanity decides to return]

[ That "yes," quiet and unsure as it is, just by the nature of being yes instead of all the hundred possible worse answers he could get, has Ed's eyes crinkling again as he smiles, hand still covering Stede's and bowed over, pillowing his bearded chin on their cupped palms. He hums like a cat's purr at the sound of Stede's voice gone all soft around his name, and just as Ed is thinking of kissing Stede again, slower this time, and lifting his chin to do just that— it's just in time to be kissed, so softly that his insides go all gooey like melted wax under the heat of a flame.

It's tough not to be swept right up again in the warmth of Stede's skin, the nice way he smells, and more than anything, just being allowed to be so fucking intimately close like this at fucking last. Ed manages to keep his restraint, offering back the kind of flower-soft, slow kisses he's being gifted, and only lightly resting his thumb and fingers against Stede's jaw and neck, not grabbing or guiding as he might like, but still gratified just to touch a new, soft spot of Stede's skin. ]

[it's so soft, so gentle, and Ed's touch pulls him in, pulls him closer. He explores Ed's lips tentatively with his own. It's wrong. He knows it is and this will be the only time because what other time can there be? So he lets himself go a little, pressing forward, feeling the heat of his tongue, his hand rubbing the small of Ed's back until he feels the sudden sensual heat of skin and a small wanting noise comes from him that he hopes Ed doesn't notice. Maybe he also won't notice the sweep of Stede's smallest finger exploring the dip of his back.]

[ Yeah, like Ed's not going to notice that warm brush of Stede's fingers down his back where his shirt doesn't quite reach, or the needy little sound Stede makes, or the emboldened lick of his tongue. Like Ed isn't hyperaware of how close Stede is, and isn't, and might be, when all he wants is closer, and more, and all he's afraid of is less and further apart.

Ed huffs a shivery breath against Stede's lips as both hands now trace the curve of Stede's jaw, fingers fanning down his neck. ]

Hey... Want to know a secret?

Hm... [he shivers at that touch, more of his fingers slipping against Ed's skin and wanting to stay there]

Yes...of course. Is it...is it something cool? [though cool doesn't seem to have as much weight as this and it's difficult to listen and not kiss him again so he does a few more times just to be on the safe side]

[ Ed basically forgets what he was saying himself with Stede's fingers growing more daring against the small of his back, sending little ripping shivers of heat right through his chest.

He chuckles, though, reminded by Stede's question. ]

Nah. It's—

[ He's distracted by Stede's soft lips and the warm swipe of his tongue, so, so easily, and can barely manage to finish his thought against Stede's lips. ]

Mm... Not cool at all. But—

[ He tries to remember his own point, distracted away from kisses, but happily enough, every word is like a kiss the way their lips brush. ]

You know that night when I didn't have a place to stay? And we shared your bed?

[ Ed slides his thumbs from Stede's jaw to trace the edges of his mouth and his lower lip, like he's trying to memorize a feeling he'll never get the chance to have again, because who fucking knows, after today, and admitting this, maybe he won't. At least they're close enough like this that he can't look in Stede's eyes, or else he'd never get the rest of the words out. ]

I couldn't keep my hands off you. Woke up wrapped around you, and wanting to kiss you so fucking bad. That's why I left.

Oh...[what is he supposed to say to that? What is he supposed to do? How is he expected to concentrate with Ed's lips moving against his own and the warm brush of his thumb. Stede has a strange desire to bite it, or at least set his teeth against it, pull Ed's thumb into his mouth.That seems strange so he doesn't, but tempts fate a little by pressing a kiss to it.

He wants to kiss Ed's palm then, his wrist, chase the winding serpent up his arm, but that would be utterly distracting and he has to address...what he's been told. Somehow.

He swallows thickly] I'm... I'm not sure... [what to say, but then he has a brilliant idea.

He hopes]

...if I know what you mean. [he clears his throat and meets Ed's eyes- devastating all on their own] Maybe...you could show me?

[ Yeah, it was a pretty stupid thing of Ed to say, no surprise that Stede doesn't know what to say about. It's weird, right? Super weird. He opens his mouth to apologize for it, only to feel the slight tilt of Stede's jaw and the press of a delicate little kiss to the pad of his thumb, which is just the absolute last thing he expected after that weirdo confession of his, and gets his already fast heart to racing even quicker, like a rabbit's.

He's flushed warm from knees to scalp, thoughts racing in every direction. But he keeps still and patient, waiting for Stede to work out whatever it is he's thinking, because the last thing Ed wants to do is hang around where he's not wanted and make things weird again, maybe worse—

Until Stede comes to what kind of? sounds like a good thing? A really fucking good thing? And catches Ed's eyes and looks at him so goddamned intently that Ed has to blink through the instinct to do exactly what he's thinking, and kiss Stede all the way back to his bed. But that's definitely too fast. But kissing him— ]

Already have.

[ That he's allowed, and whether Stede's asking for more or just more of the same, at least Ed knows he can take this much: his hands slide through Stede's hair as he pulls him back in and seals his mouth with a kiss more like the first, a little less gentle and a little more demanding than all the recent ones before it, but just the one this time, before he's letting his hands settle lower on Stede's neck again. His eyes linger on the pink flush of Stede's lower lip after, before lifting to try to read Stede's expression before he's even answered Ed's soft question. ]

Like that?

[he lets out a terribly embarrassing sound at Ed's fingers gliding through his hair, a sort of soft shivery gasp which turns into a fuller sound at Ed's mouth over his. He melts into him before he even knows he is, the fingers of both hands flexing against the soft skin of his back, now feeling the tender ridges of scars that he wants to explore. He is hungry- he is aching- he is terrified but in an oddly good way.]

Just like that... [it's a whisper and he knows he should open his eyes but can't seem to. The kiss was too long and not long enough. Somehow he manages to pull himself together, to try and aim for what he'd really intended.] Um.... but what I mean is...

[but then opening his eyes he realizes Ed is so close now and will be even closer and he- he's not sure]

Shall ...we have a seat? [idiot. coward]

[ There's a minute in there somewhere, after their lips have parted but before Stede's opened his eyes, that Ed's able to just look at him, up close like this with his hair not quite perfectly the way it always is, a few gold waves of it falling across his closed eyes, and all Ed can think is that he'd be a happy man if he could just keep that expression on Stede's face, and the whole rest of the world could fuck right off.

It's not until Stede's opening his eyes again that Ed realizes the expression on his own face is probably close to something like the cat that's caught the mouse. He tries to lighten the mood with a smile, but it's half-hearted and distracted. He's already leaning in to kiss Stede's lips again by the time he decides sitting is the plan. ]

Mmhm, yep. Great idea. Love that.

[ Sitting can be the plan after two or three more slow but thorough kisses, anyway. Ed meant what he said, though. It's a great plan, not idiotic or cowardly at all. Actually pretty perfect, because the bed's an awkward walk away and the couch is only a few steps. Barely any time at all between a kiss standing and tugging Stede's hand into sitting next to him, and Ed's shifting back in close until their knees bump to dragging Stede into maddeningly slow kisses again. ]

[it's so good. It shouldn't be so good. Shouldn't be so easy. He shouldn't be so willing to sit down on the sofa and just melt into Ed's mouth. To want more. But he does. Slowly. Their knees brush and he tentatively lets his hand explore Ed's leg, loving the feel, of it, the heat of it.

It'll be hard to come back from this. It'll be hard to let it go. He pulls away with some effort, wanting to tell Ed to quit while they're ahead, but then once he looks at him is caught again by his eyes and parted lips]

I don't think I'll ever be satisfied. [he reaches up and brushes his thumb over Ed's lower lip] I didn't know it could even be this good.

[ Don't fuck this up is repeated like a mantra in Ed's mind, along with a textbook's worth of other thoughts, fears and hopes and revelations, every one of them revolving around Stede, though even the loudest of them, Don't act so fucking eager if you ever want to kiss him again is clouded to a heavy fog by the fabric-light exploration of Stede's fingers over Ed's own leather-wrapped thigh. His hips lift automatically in search of a firmer touch of that hand, and it's only their knees jostling that keeps Ed grounded, has him sitting back into the couch cushion at a comfortable distance rather than crawling into Stede's lap and regret ruining what's already so incredibly nice, and perfect, and maybe the best thing that's happened to him, short of co-captaining The Revenge.

Time goes all liquid and wobbly until Stede's pulling away, and Ed follows for one more soft kiss before reeling himself back like the tide struggling to keep hold of the ocean's wave. Fuck, but he wants to crash right back into him. A moment later, it's such a relief to hear Stede feels something close to the same that Ed huffs a breathy laugh. ]

Uh, yeah, that's 'cause you'd never been kissed by me before.

[ He catches Stede's hand before it's allowed to leave off teasing Ed's lower lip like that, kitten-licks and drags the edge of his teeth against the pad of Stede's thumb and winks over it before letting Stede have his hand back, then flopping back against his own couch cushion to find room to breathe again and cool off like he so desperately needs. Though, instead of resting fully he adds to the invitation, just so there's no mistaking that he's no less satisfied by stopping there than he was when they started— ]

Which, by the way, you're invited to do again, as often as you like. Pretty damn good at it yourself.

[it's not something he'd ever thought he'd be good at. It's not something he ever wanted to be good at honestly. Just adequate at so Mary stopped looking like she wanted to die. Ed looks just the opposite, all flushed, hair riled, but still cool- still collected- still self assured. This is a captain, Stede thinks. The best. The only.

With a wicked tongue that Stede won't forget in a hurry.]

It'll be difficult to stop. [he draws back his hand, but not too far, resting it absently against Ed's chest to finger his collar, and surprised to feel his heartbeat so hard. Or maybe that's Stede's own]

But on the other hand, I think I definitely need more practice in that and other things which is... a bit difficult to do if you're not here.

[ Of course Ed's heart would be racing during a makeout session like that. His heartbeat's a slut just as much as his dick is; the blood'll start pumping for just about anyone he lets stick a tongue in his throat or grind a thigh between his legs. That's nothing new, or special, or interesting. What's new and special and interesting is how little it takes from Stede to get him there. Just a kind word has Ed's heart missing a beat. Just the littlest touch like the brush of Stede's nails over his shirt collar sends delicious shivers running down Ed's spine. His own hand falls from Stede's shoulder to rest on Stede's hip all on its own, and his thumb traces circles in the linen shirt warmed by Stede's skin under the same instinctive desire for more contact, more warmth, more of the same.

Difficult to stop, yeah. Yep. Ed hums his agreement, his smile soft and possessive as he watches Stede's lips more than his eyes, flushed a lovely dark shade of pink now. Then Ed's eyes lift to catch Stede's at the brilliant suggestion of more practice. The excitement in his eyes catches like a lit fuse that igniting into sparks. ]

Could do.

[ He demurs, if only not to sound so fucking desperate, though the firmer press of his thumb against Stede's hip and the way his eyes keep tracking down to Stede's lips probably give him away. ]

Thinking I might need a bit of practice myself with slowing down, meandering a bit instead of always racing right to the finish. Never done that before.

Oh... [he wiggles a bit at the press of the thumb, can't help it. Even as Ed talks about slowing down, all he can think of is speeding up. Especially as Ed keeps looking at his mouth that way making Stede unconsciously wet his lips.]

Slow and steady wins the race. [he tells himself this too, because slow means he gets to keep Ed longer, lets him pretend just a little more.] You might wake up being cuddled yourself if you're not careful.

And... I wouldn't mind the opposite... but... [he swallows] I mean it might be a good idea to know what to expect- hands on bare skin and all that.

[ God, Stede doesn't even know he's doing it, does he? Wiggling like that, licking his lower lip so it glistens, fucking threatening Ed with being cuddled. Ed can't even pretend to joke back. He huffs what's supposed to be a laugh but just comes out as a heavy exhale, eyes transfixed on Stede's mouth as he talks about hands on bare skin, and Ed's already leaning in to kiss him again practically before he's even finished the sentence. ]

Hmmm...

[ He hums against Stede's lips between licking kisses, leaning towards him further on the couch until he can squeeze Stede's opposite thigh for balance (and because he has incredible thighs that deserve more attention than they've gotten so far). He takes "hands on bare skin" for granted, sliding his thumb and fingers from Stede's hip to tugging at his shirt, then under it, until he can feel the warm, soft skin of Stede's side under his fingertips, and— ]

This okay?

[ Like, maybe still too fast? Still feels achingly slow to Ed, but then he's been aching since they started and his judgment's in fucking pieces somewhere around Stede's feet with wherever those moustache glasses went. ]

[he shivers a little at the tug, bracing himself for the touch, not sure what to expect. But at the first brush of those warm callused fingers against the bare flesh of his side he knows he's in trouble. He knows he wants those rough warm hands everywhere. He might even make a soft breathy sound of need without meaning too and then decides to pretend he didn't.]

Yes. Very...very much so... [and then since... since he doesn't want to presume he adds] May I? [and he gently touches the hem of Ed's shirt]

[ The needy sound Stede makes feels to Ed like more than enough permission, even before the words follow. Ed doesn't hesitate; it's just an extension of the same movement to let his hand press more firmly to Stede's waist under his shirt where it is, flatting his palm to feel his warmth through the old, softened leather of his gloves that's like a second skin themselves.

When Stede does answer, Ed finds he likes hearing Stede's voice dropped low and breathless like this. Might do to ask more questions, Ed thinks, if only to hear more of the same. Stede gets the question out first though, and Ed huffs against Stede's lips, charmed to be asked. ]

Please do.

[he sucks in a breath at the touch, unsure if the leather makes it better or worse.]

Oh, Ed... [he doesn't know what even to add to that. More. Less. Higher. Lower. Too many options and it's hard to keep them all straight in his head. One thing he does know is that he wants to return the touch and is given permission so slips his hand at the hem of Ed's shirt, and then mimics him, stroking a hand against his waist, exploring the warm skin there as he leans in for a kiss only to be distracted by the soft band of a scar]

Is that where I stabbed you? [nut]

[ As much as Ed would like direction, maybe along the lines of "lower, much lower," or even to take advantage himself, there's something exciting about just living in the moment, touching Stede's skin somewhere innocuous as his side and still getting his name sighed like that, like he's being touched somewhere way better. And it's its own kind of thrilling too to feel that touch returned with fingers softer and cool as silk. He leans into the touch to encourage more— at least as much as he can without teetering into Stede's lap.

The question is dreamlike, disconnected, and it takes Ed a moment longer than it should to connect the idea as violent as stabbing with the gentle touch of Stede's hand trailing down towards his hip. ]

Hm? Oh... Yeah, that it is. Feels weird, right? Slippery, kind of. Like scales instead of skin.

[ More like barnacles in Ed's case, probably, given just how many layers of scar tissue there is in that particular spot, but in some of the higher ones that healed nice... His own hand slides over Stede's waist towards center until he can feel the same type of stretched-taut skin at Stede's middle under his callused fingertips. ]

Feels wonderful. [in more ways than one] But really, it's not a great way to go around making friends. [and it's a joke, mostly. Edward's touch against his scar makes him smile a little proudly- though still faintly traumatized by that ordeal. A stupid move]

And, I admit, sometimes, being stabbed just helps bring people closer together. [he gently moves Ed's hand further up his own side before spreading his own over Ed's, moving past the scar, trying to memorize every inch of skin] But I bet if we put our heads together we could find other ways.

[ Speaking of stupid moves, it's pretty stupid how flushed Ed gets just by two little complimentary words. Nobody calls him wonderful, and definitely not the scarred bits. It's just fucking weird. Stede's so weird. He's perfect.

Embarrassing, really, how easy it is for him to make Ed smile, warm and secretive. But hopefully he just chalks that up to smiling at the joke and not, like, everything else. He lowers his eyes just to be sure he's not giving every sugary thought away. Probably doesn't do much good though, since his breath puffs at the press of fingers over his and he arches his hand beneath Stede's like a cat starved to be pet firmer, forever, he'll tell you when to stop. His voice in response to Stede's idea is a low rasp. ]

Reckon we already have.

[ Embarrassing. He shrugs one shoulder, scooting just a hair closer to Stede on the couch, pressing hands and a thigh firmly against him for an all too-brief moment before relaxing. ]

Though, if we aren't both shirtless in the next minute or two, I'm not above stabbing you for the excuse. Or at least spilling grape juice on your shirt.

Reckon so...

[co-captaining and...gentle touches, watching Ed squirm and feeling him arch. It is nice. Very nice. Extremely nice. He chuckles at the threat, the flush on his own face deepening, a faint surprise that Ed would like to see him shirtless.

And he could comply and maybe, a thousand years ago, he would, out of desperation maybe, afraid of-if he didn't Ed might- not want to say but... now he feels more confident. Very confident. He slides up closer, easing one of Ed's legs over his lap so he can get practically nose to nose with him. He doesn't pet any harder though, just lightly scratches at the skin there, traces the edges of his blunt, if well maintained, nails along Ed's ribs]

Haven't you ever heard of delayed gratification?

[ Yes, Ed would very much like to see Stede shirtless again. And also all the rest of him, and that demurred laugh and darker flush is pretty as a painting, but it's also a little mystifying to Ed that Stede might not've already been aware of it. Like, Ed's basically been pulling the clothes off of him (and both of them together) by any means necessary since the day they met, including stabbing. But apparently all that flirting was way too subtle. Should've kissed him ages ago, if only Ed had believed back then that it would go as well as this.

And despite his complaining, Ed has to admit that, no, yeah, it's going well. Kind of blood-racing, nipples-perking fucking really well as he's tugged by his thighs into straddling Stede's lap, and what a fucking incredible place to be. His hands end up on Stede's neck along the way, shirts and scars all forgotten in favor of Stede's lips breathing teasing words against his mouth and smooth nails skittering up his skin. Ed's next breath is shivery as he leans into the teasing touches and gets the firm petting he'd wanted for himself by holding onto Stede's neck, thumbs curled against his jaw like an anchor, and griding down into his lap. He groans against Stede's mouth at the flush of warmth, barely more than a tease of gratification, before he remembers to answer that question. ]

Ah— Nope. Nah. What's that?

[ Heard the words, understands the words, though not the expression or what it has to do with any of this. Also he kind of just wants to listen to Stede explain it. Confidence always sounds so good on him. ]

[He doesn't quite expect the pressing warm weight of Ed on his lap, or at least not for it to feel this way. He shifts a bit so Ed won't feel anything unfortunate in his turn and then nearly forgets the conversation at the flutter of Ed's lips on his own, the press of his sea rough exciting hands. But everything about him was exciting.]

It.... mmh. [oh, something was brushed anyway] It's about drawing out the...the [pleasure, but saying that would be like a lit match in a magazine] well... gratification of a moment - as long as you can stand. [and he moves to caress more of Ed's back with the pads of his fingers, the palms of his hands, wanting to drink him in through his skin]

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