expiationnet | ( video | un: revanche )

I dunno, I think the whole idea of "unforgivable" is kind of dumb. I mean, forgiving someone only comes up if they stop doing what they were doing, right? Holding grudges after that doesn't make a lot of sense to me, I guess.

[Shrug!!!]

Edited 2025-04-02 22:44 (UTC)

[ rafal squints at that username for a moment. okay. ]

So as long as they stop, that is enough?

Yeah? Like, it doesn't mean you've gotta be best buddies, or anything. But what's gnashing your teeth and throwing a tantrum about it gonna do?

[He shrugs.]

It's not like you can go back and unkill the people you killed if people're pissed enough at you.

[Well. Sometimes in Yu Yu Hakusho people do not die when they're killed (Yusuke) (Genkai) (Gamemaster) but the point mostly stands ok.]

Edited 2025-04-03 06:01 (UTC)

[ hm. ]

I could, but I don't think they'd appreciate that.

[Squints.]

Why not?

I think they would like to rest.

[ they were so tired by the end of it. everything was gone. no . . . the royals would not want to rise again. he's certain of that. ]

Did you ask them?

[It's a genuine question. Yusuke can imagine the answer being no; it had been his own before Botan had showed him his own wake, after all. But without knowing for sure, it's only an assumption.]

Directly? No.

[ but it's hard to explain . . . his kind of power. the power of a fell dragon. the underworld. no resurrection is perfect save for. nel. and nel was an exception as a dragon. ]

But I knew their hearts. And I'm certain of this much.

Even if you think you know ... it's still worth asking. It's worth giving them time to think about it.

[He shrugs a shoulder, tone still casual, yet ... he does mean this seriously. Life and death might have lost a lot of its meaning to him here in Aldrip, but even so--]

Your feelings can change, with a good reason. If you really wanna make up for what you did, the choice is the least you can offer them. If they still say they just want to sleep, then you can give them that then.

I do not disagree. But as I said, in this, I am certain of what they would choose.

And at this stage, it's no longer possible. That world is dead. Silent.

...I mean, that's what I was saying at the beginning, about not being able to take shit like that back. Which brings us back to, there's no point holding some grudge about it? If it's over, it's over.

[There's nothing especially complicated about that to Yusuke. Sometimes people do shitty things. But it's as he said--people can change.]

. . . Perhaps. I'm not sure I agree, but I can see that.

What's that mean, though? That you don't agree. What would you want people to do? Hate you? Make you suffer as much as you made other people suffer? It doesn't make a lot of sense to me, I guess.

No. I don't think suffering helps.

[ but. he's not sure. ]

But I don't know if I have a good answer. It seems too . . . easy to let it go.

Then don't.

[It's that simple, as far as Yusuke is concerned.]

Don't let any of it go. Remember what you wanna do different every day for the rest of your life. But that's got nothing to do with forgiveness.

I had no intention of forgetting and that was my plan, regardless.

But even if I do, does that truly resolve anything?

What do you want to resolve? Like you said, it's over.

It is the end of. world.

Grapple with that for a moment. An entire world.

Buddy, I've had to deal with like three or four attempts at ending or taking over multiple different worlds, I get it. You hurt a lot of people. You can't take it back. But you didn't answer the question. What's to resolve, here?

And did they succeed? That is the key point here. A lot? That term holds no meaning.

The magnitude of that loss, that crime requires a resolution does it not? Beyond my fate.

They didn't succeed because I beat the shit out of them. It was every damn thing around me that was on the verge of getting wiped out, I think I know what I'm talking about here.

[HUFF.]

You already said suffering wouldn't help, so there's no point beating the shit out of you, and you stopped with the murdering, and you can't bring them back, so I don't know what kind of resolution you're looking for?

Edited 2025-04-04 05:44 (UTC)

Yes. You stopped it. But no one managed to stop me.

[ what is so hard to understand about that. really. ]

And that is my point. I do not know. Forgiveness is too easy. I gave my oath to help and I will not do it again but is that truly enough to measure the loss of an entire world?

You keep getting hung up on this scale shit, but it really doesn't change anything. Hell, in a messed up way, it's almost kinder than just a few. Ever hear a mother cry over her dead kid? I have. It's the worst fucking sound in the world. Turn a whole planet into a graveyard, and there's nobody left to cry.

[He shakes his head, frustrated.]

What I'm trying to say is that I don't hate those people whose asses I had to kick, even though I stood to lose everything. Even though I did lose some important shit. I'm not even human anymore because I died stopping one of them.

[IT'S. IT'S A LONG STORY.]

But beating yourself up about it doesn't help anyone. Least of all anyone you hurt.

Edited 2025-04-04 11:05 (UTC)

[ kinder???

you know what. he's not touching that. he has zero interest in explaining the depths of what he did. ]

Then I suppose I shall go frolic in a meadow.

[Welp. He tried.]

Whatever floats your boat, dude. {Eyeroll.] You could try sparring. Maybe getting literally beat up'd make you feel better?

[He shrugs expansively]

Or just keep on brooding and whining about it. I mean, look how well that's working out for you already!

video; un: fuckoff

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cw: lowkey passive suicidality ref

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