voice - the osamu radio show, take two

[nullificates]

(just voice. someone drank so much. please, he doesn't look his best, but his energy is as good as ever.)

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the... I'm still not set on a name! So, right now, it's the I Drank Too Much This Weekend, Dazai Osamu show! If you attended the party, you are a champion! We should do this more often! If the woods weren't creepy-- unless, of course, that's your deal! Maybe a bonfire? Beach party? Cocktails? I'll even bartend! Ah, maybe I am still coming down. If this was your first time drinking, please, make sure to drink a lot of water, in tiny sips, and eat bland food! Don't upset your stomach, drink right! Anyway, let's see what we have for today...

Ah, yes, I've received a suggestion from someone probably very ugly, and friendless, and probably stinky, that the host should be changed! After debating with my associates, me, myself, and I, I've decided that's not possible, I'm so sorry! Please, feel better soon.

So, next up! We got fridges now, yadda yadda, snake people didn't eat anyone, don't go into the forest, but also, if you do, take some people, don't die, the basics. If you attempt to destroy the statues, they just get fixed perfectly, so I guess you can take that as an invitation to wreck the statue rather than someone else! Use it as a drama partner! Live your best life, so vandalize to your heart's desire. Remember, you are already paying for one crime! What's anoth--


Also, in line with our request from last week, several people wanted to know whether they're assholes. I'll read them for you, and you give your opinion, but I have to say... This is not looking too bright.

"I actually spat on someone's drink during the party, am I an asshole?"

Yes, actually.

"My husband cheated on me, so I stole her lover's jewelry and run off with our pet dog. I feel bad."

Mmmmmm, what do you think, Chosen? Please, tell us your thoughts! New arrivals, this happens once every-I-Felt-Like-It, so feel free to leave suggestions, comments, and talk around with your fellow criminals as we uncover the truth! Who's an asshole? If you say 'you', you don't have an ounce of creativity!

(in the background, one can hear "dazai-san, remind them about club signups!", the cute voice of our little aldrip sister, kotone... dazai giggles a little, an 'okokok' leaving him before he returns.)

Yes, also! Don't forget to come to the Club Building, and sign up for the clubs! Especially the magic one, for some reason that I don't really know, but that one!! Enjoy hobbies, make friends, start writing a Coup d'Etat, cook delicious meals, and take rabbits out of top hats, whatever you feel like!

Thank you and good evening!

Comments

[orphne]

Water. Drink more water!

[She pats his head on her way out the door.]

I'll go find you some pillows and blankets. Try to be helpful, maybe?

[Or at least make people laugh.]

[nullificates]

Watered down tequila!! Kill two birds, a single stone!!-- Ah, pets? Koto-chan, you can't pet and leave!!!

(BITCH DECIDE)

[orphne]

[She just waves at him on her way out the door. When she comes back, it's with a nice fluffy blanket and a thick, downy pillow for him to use. They're her own personal nap blankets for when she gets tired in the early afternoon and needs a quick power nap. She'll let him finish his sentence to whomever he's talking to before draping the blanket around his shoulders and plopping the pillow down on the table.]

There you go. Comfy?

[nullificates]

(for a twenty two year old former mafia boss, killer of hundreds, the terror of one's nightmare, he's genuinely such a kid. arms raise, as if he's never been happier to not have had to trouble to go get it himself. ah, warmth...)

Perfect!!

[orphne]

[She sits on the table beside him, letting her hand fall to his hair and start gently untangling some of the knots. Ten minutes of pets for him spending time at Cooking Club, wasn't it?]

Hey hey, Dazai-san, what are some good things for people to eat when they're hungover? Maybe I'll make something for some friends later.

[nullificates]

(this is such a happy moment. god bless kotone, he's so happy, he's so damn tired... it's a mild hangover, at least. nothing he won't live through.)

Eh, are you? You look fine.

[orphne]

[She snorts a laugh. She might have had one drink throughout the entire night, and that's only if she'd taken some spiked juice instead of regular juice.]

I think you drank enough for both of us. No, I'm not, but I think some of the people I was hanging out with probably are.

[nullificates]

Bland food, kiddos, or just don't eat. Sleep until it's gone!

(did she forget who she's talking to? unhealthy, unhealthy man.)