𝙅𝙞𝙣𝙭 💣/ 𝓹𝓸𝔀𝓭𝓮𝓻 🌸 | ❝ashnikko❞ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
opheliac) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
expiationnet2024-09-01 08:20 pm
opheliac) wrote in expiationnet2024-09-01 08:20 pm
014. 💥 TXT; UN: BOMBSHELL
hi, its me! jinx, ur favorite loose cannon and demolition diva! im good, how are u? never better.
im in a pissy mood, so WE are going to do something that is fun for me. but firsts thing first:
feast ur eyes on THIS! i know, i know. me? jinx? running a kitty cat cafe? look even a semi crazy chick like me loves these little furballs. and the other me made a KILLER living with this coffee joint. annnd i still remember how to make my famous strawberries n' creme, java chip frappuccino, ristretto, cold brew, and other stuff. soooo why not right? ill still take ur repair orders and junk too. if u need ur guns or weapons made, im still ur girl! i can make ur coffee AND ur bombs at the same time. they go hand in hand anyway.
the first 5 customers who comes to my shop gets to pet and hold fishbones. and THATS a steal offer. so id take it if i were u.
okok on to the fun part!!!!!!!!!💣💥💣💥💣💥
when i get hot and heated, i like to explode my problems away. get rid of them and just shred them into teeny tiny little pieces until they are nothing but worthless worms underneath my boots. have them wiggle all around and watch them fight for survival!
the big wigs or whoever are very picky so how about i blow UR problems away? so. lay it on me. did someone kill u recently and need a cool idea on how to get them back? is someone u love or care for keeping secrets from u and it makes u want to blow up their vocal cords? got into a nasty fight and u want them to apologize to u first cause it's their fault and not urs?
whatever problem u got, jinx is here to listen and give out a few pointers! im a genius, so i know all the answers. keep it anonymous or not, ur choice. i don't care
or if u DONT have a problem and u just miss me and wanna chat, im here for that, too! so let's go go go go go 🙈🙉🙊
im in a pissy mood, so WE are going to do something that is fun for me. but firsts thing first:
feast ur eyes on THIS! i know, i know. me? jinx? running a kitty cat cafe? look even a semi crazy chick like me loves these little furballs. and the other me made a KILLER living with this coffee joint. annnd i still remember how to make my famous strawberries n' creme, java chip frappuccino, ristretto, cold brew, and other stuff. soooo why not right? ill still take ur repair orders and junk too. if u need ur guns or weapons made, im still ur girl! i can make ur coffee AND ur bombs at the same time. they go hand in hand anyway.
the first 5 customers who comes to my shop gets to pet and hold fishbones. and THATS a steal offer. so id take it if i were u.
okok on to the fun part!!!!!!!!!💣💥💣💥💣💥
when i get hot and heated, i like to explode my problems away. get rid of them and just shred them into teeny tiny little pieces until they are nothing but worthless worms underneath my boots. have them wiggle all around and watch them fight for survival!
the big wigs or whoever are very picky so how about i blow UR problems away? so. lay it on me. did someone kill u recently and need a cool idea on how to get them back? is someone u love or care for keeping secrets from u and it makes u want to blow up their vocal cords? got into a nasty fight and u want them to apologize to u first cause it's their fault and not urs?
whatever problem u got, jinx is here to listen and give out a few pointers! im a genius, so i know all the answers. keep it anonymous or not, ur choice. i don't care
or if u DONT have a problem and u just miss me and wanna chat, im here for that, too! so let's go go go go go 🙈🙉🙊
private
... yeah. i do. well, did. i mean, they're still alive.
[ not a particularly enthusiastic response, that, though it's only for half of his parentage. ]
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and its been u and them for a long time. for years actually. just the 2 of u. suddenly, they spring up the fact they have a sexual partner to u. its a little weird. i mean, u get it, because everyone has needs and all that, and u were fine with them doing that before.
but what makes this time different is that, its not just a hit it and quit it kind of thing. its a... "u and me are going to bone each other from now on, no one night stand" deal. u ask who the person is, but they wont tell u.
they wont tell u because they dont want u to cause trouble, or mess things up between them. and well, they were pretty right about that at first. because u know how these things go. feelings get in the way, love can change people, and blind all reason. people go really stupid or do stupid things when love and sex gets involved.
but eventually, u slowly get used to the idea. still dont like it, but... what can u really do?
but then, u started piecing things together. after a lot of thinking and just watching, u figured out who that person is. and although ure 95-97% sure its this person, ur parent still denies it all. u tell them that its ok to tell u, u wont hurt them or break the 2 of u up, just be honest with u.
and they still wont. even when u told THEM who U are involved with because they were grilling U about ur relationship. not to mention, the person ure suspecting havent been so nice to u either. i mean, u haven't really been nice back but...
anyway, ure telling them both that u know, to just tell u, stop with all the secrecy cause its getting old and boring and u just want to get all of this out of ur head, but they keep denying it, keep making u think ure insane or crazy or a whack and thats... pretty hurtful because this place messes with ur head already. u dont need the people HERE to do that too.
anyway, ur parent tells u just to respect their boundaries and they will tell u whenever they feel ready even though deep down, u think its sooooo stupid because u know who it is already. and u also think its not fair because they made u fess up who u are messing/fooling around with.
so u say fine and u apologize and now uve decided to just be in ur room and not wanting to come back out again. ...so.
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that's right shitty of them.
[ ah, fuck, ] sorry. i don't mean to speak ill of them, just- well, what they're doing, telling you it's not happening when you already know you're right... there's a word for that, my friend crystal told me about it, when someone's trying to make you feel like you can't trust your own mind. gaslighting, i think it was. anyway, no one should do that to you, yeah? least of all a parent.
[ it is good this is text, because it is impossible for him to not think of his own dad, and the way he really was the worst possible parent to have — and it's just so unfair, this, because jinx deserves a better parent than someone who'd lie to her like this. ]
from the sounds of it, they didn't respect your boundaries, did they? if they made you talk about who you're with. the least they could do is to be honest with you back. so... if you feel shitty about this, it's for a good reason, jinx. you're right about this, and that they refuse to see that sucks.
and if you need to just be alone for a while, that's okay. but only if that's what you need, yeah? don't let your parent treating you badly make you lock yourself away. ..... i know what it's like.
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i want them to be happy. have friends, have someone who do love them the way... i cant love them, even though that feels icky to me. i want my love to be the only love they will ever need.
but i know deep down, i cant do the things that a lover can. thatll be gross and weird anyway.
i just. i dont know. if they want to be with someone in... THAT way, i want it to be someone who i like too. or i can get along with. or i should KNOW who it is so i can make double sure the person is ok.
ive been stuck in this joint for a year now and ive seen a lot of people killing and doing backstabbing and shady crap. so. i want whoever this person is to be good FOR them. and have good intentions.
sure, my parent doesnt like who im kinda seeing and the person im seeing doesnt like my parent either. so. i guess im a hypocrite. maybe? but im trying to make all of that work. somehow.
and its extra hard because im going thru the same shit with my big sis. she is ALSO with someone that i dont like. someone who wants or wanted me to go behind bars.
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well. anyway, glad to hear they're treating you well. but... it's tough, innit? if they've been there for you always and you're used to it being just the two of you and now it's not.
[ it's not the same, but he thinks of him and edwin, sticking together for thirty-five years until crystal came along, and as much as he adores crystal... it's a big change. when it's been just the two of you, always, until it isn't. and he thinks of monty, then, his own annoyance at seeing him with edwin, before they'd known the truth about him, remembers looking at them pouring over a book together and thinking that he'd support edwin no matter what but damn that it hurt, and, ]
kinda feels like you're being sidelined, don't it? or replaced. or like you're just... not enough.
if they're important to you, then course whoever they're with would be important, too, that they're good. course you'd be concerned. and you're not a hypocrite, jinx. you just said you wanted them to be honest with you, yeah? that even if it's this person who you don't like, you wouldn't do anything to sabotage them. sounds to me like you were honest with your parent about who you're seeing even when you knew they wouldn't approve, and they're not being honest in return, and that hurts.
and it sucks that you've got the same situation going on with not just your parent but with your sister, too.
... sorry. wish there was more i could do than just this. but... you want it all to work out, yeah? so i believe it will. you care about your family, that's all. that's bloody good, is what.
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private; 2/2
because i didnt give u the ok to go swimming in my thoughts, buddy.
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no, no, i'm not! and even if i was i'd never do something like that
just... look, i get it. for 35 years it was just me and my best mate, okay? and then it wasn't. and i thought he liked this one guy, and i was so prepared to support him because i want him to be happy, yeah? but that doesn't mean it didn't suck. or that i didn't feel like
well
you know. so i wasn't reading your mind i was just speaking from experience, i guess
i know it's not the same and i'm not gonna say i understand it all hundred percent cause i'm not you and your situation's different
but that part? that part i get
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[ a brief pause before she then asks: ]
so what happened? with u and ur mate? did u 2 still talk?
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but yeah we're fine, now. still got some stuff to figure out, but... who doesn't, yeah?
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but i'm better with others than with my own shit. so... there's anything i can do for you, you let me know, yeah?
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... that's not a no, just to be clear
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you know that's really good of you, yeah? this place... well. if there's people who've been here for nearly two years, now, then that's what we need. be there for each other and find a way to not be vulnerable to whatever they throw at us.
yeah, you know what? i'm in
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really? u mean it? ure not just saying that cause i helped u that one time, right? u actually WANT to be part of this?
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i mean, that's a part of it, but it's more than that, innit? i want to make a difference. that's all i've wanted to do, back home, you know? being a detective, solving cases for ghosts... stuff that they could never solve in life, because they didn't matter. all i want is to make sure they matter in death if not in life.
and all of us here matter, too, yeah? so if this helps... then, yes, i want to be a part of this.
besides, there's... people here i want to protect. this seems like a way to do that, too. [ one person, really, but — he's not sure what exactly it is jinx is doing... but at least by helping her, he's doing something. which is infinitely better than doing nothing. ]
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tell me who ur people are and ill make sure they are protected.
but i want u to know, chuck, that war isn't completely off the table. i want independence for my people and for this city, this realm to be ours. and sometimes u have to burn a few bridges to get that.
i wont immediately go to war, because thats not what my crew wants. they want to do this passively and im doing that for them. but if that doesnt work and the chairmen are trying to put a stop to our goal of freedom, then we will have no choice. i just want u to understand that, before i recruit u.
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right. thanks for being honest about that. so i'm gonna be honest in return
i can fight, but i'm not a soldier, jinx. and i'm not gonna hurt people unless i absolutely have no other choice. but... if it's about protecting others like us, then i'll do it, i promise, yeah? cause if it comes down to that, i'm always gonna pick protecting those i care about.
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so when or if i fight, itll be for my people and protecting them.
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all i ask is
just... i know i said "people" but i really meant just one. junpei, you know him? anyway, if shit keeps happening here, and if for some reason i can't be there... keep him safe. please.
[ in hindsight it's a good thing this is all private... ]
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he's not
[ you know what it's whatever. the sentiment is like 50% accurate, anyway ]
... thanks
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