video.

[enactors]

( marc still isn't entirely sure where he falls on the 'is this actually real?' question he's asked himself more than a handful of times since finding himself here, since finding the parchment with his crime(s).

still: it feels real enough, and for now that's enough.

he's dressed in a suit — it's white in its entirety, with small crescent moons serving as buttons and cufflinks. it's — fine. it's an outfit that says he — before here, at least — probably spent a small fortune on dry cleaning, and begs the question of how long it's going to stay looking Like That (answer: not long).

with one leg crossed over the other, there's a breath of a pause before he speaks. this isn't how he normally does this, but then, this isn't normal by any — even his — definition of the word. )

My name is Mr. Knight. ( is it? of course not, but there's nothing to marc's demeanour that says otherwise; and for those familiar, his accent says 'chicago!' ) I'm a priest. ( certainly, by A Definition, and by that, we mean 'by marc spector's definition and no-one else's, except (maybe) an ancient egyptian moon god's'. )

At home, I ran a mission — the Midnight Mission — through which I protected my community and my people. Travellers of the night. ( a breath of a pause and he holds up a hand (gloved, white, because of course) and gestures vaguely at his surroundings. ) A change in circumstances doesn't change my duty. If there's anyone that requires help or assistance with, ( at night, because marc is Dedicated, ), no matter how strange or unusual, please don't hesitate to reach out.

Comments

[enactors]

we'll find out when it happens.

I can't say I'm very familiar.

[fatalism]

ah, do you feel it might be a trick?

there's some fundamental doctrine disagreements with the catholic branch but mostly nuances, we all believe in god whether catholic or orthodox or whatnot.

you are not christian then?

[enactors]

khonshu is a miserable bastard. I'll believe in it when I see it.

jewish, actually. but you've undoubtedly gathered that the god I speak of is not the god of my people.

[fatalism]

miserable in what way? a trickster?

we all worship in our own way, i did not wish to presume anything given that religion can be a deeply personal choice.

[enactors]

an asshole.

I'd say you'd be surprised by how many people would disagree with you, but I'm not sure you would be.

[fatalism]

[ snort ]

i see, well most god-like things are a little at least.

you are correct and i'm perfectly aware of the ridiculousness of their arguments.

[ he is a murderer, a terrorist, a manipulator, and worse etc but he is not a religious bigot so yay for that??? ]

[enactors]

I think it's part of the job description.

( HI-5!!! )

[fatalism]

oh? do you not believe there could be a god who values order over chaos?

[enactors]

that's not what I meant. when I said that khonshu's an asshole, I meant he's self-serving and petty.

order and chaos have nothing to do with it.

[fatalism]

oh, my apologies.

although i would argue that they do, would a self-serving god not place his own sense of order over what ought to be?

a selfless deity by contrast would value harmony and order as it ought to be.

[enactors]

yeah, I guess.

( more to the point, perhaps, is that order versus chaos have never been inherent, driving forces of either khonshu or marc. )

I'd also guess the lines get blurred depending on what the god stands for.

still haven't met any I could call selfless though.

[fatalism]

i suppose they do, my own encounters with the divine have been limited. i only have my own faith to follow.

how many have you met? sounds like a fair amount.

[enactors]

a handful.

( if you're including the asgardians in it, anyway. otherwise it's like, two, maybe three. the bigger bone of contention, at least for marc, is that his thoughts and feelings are wrapped up in expectations set by his father that he couldn't meet and and couldn't understand. their god was distant, and all the ways that marc had thought of to protect himself and his faith and his people, his father had disagreed with before disowning him.

that is to say: marc had always had issues with God in relation to himself and both his religion and his people, and he certainly wouldn't exclude Him from being a dick — not that it excuses any of marc's personal failings and weaknesses.

(does marc have a tendency to throw all of his father issues onto a divine being? yes, because that's a lot easier than acknowledging the fact that you had a shitty dad.)

for as difficult as marc's relationship with and to khonshu may be, khonshu — real or imagined — allows marc to indulge in the worst parts of himself for a noble(r) cause. he talks about khonshu's many failings but ultimately, marc's never been able to give up khonshu (moon knight) for any real length of time. )

most are of the ennead, so my sample may be biased.

( may also not have happened, but. you know. details. )

[fatalism]

a handful? my, what a blessed or cursed life you've led, priest. [ fyodor briefly wonders what he would've done in that same position. the title is given without derision, after all he is a man of god himself though not a priest. he could never have been in such a blessed position.

instead he plays the role of martyr, of red right hand that sweeps across continents and takes lives for the cause. ]

i wonder if those same gods could be present here in their godly form or as something more mortal.

[enactors]

( cursed, definitely cursed. )

what do you think 'here' is?

( it's not meant as a rebuttal and it's not meant antagonistically. there's a chance — marc's aware, given his past experiences, both first- and second-hand — that this is how it appears: a multi-dimension abduction of sorts.

but there's a chance, too, that it's not. given fyodor's question (or musing), given their conversation, marc's curious as to what he thinks. sure, not an afterlife, but that doesn't entirely narrow the field. )

[fatalism]

difficult to say with any confidence but it seems to be like a cross-road of sorts don't you think? you, me and so many others whose worlds are nothing alike. this could be just another alternate world or it could be the hub of them all.

and we were brought here to be judged for our crimes.

that is why i'm so interested to see how many were dead before coming here or on the brink of it. and how many of us were not.

[enactors]

I once met a man who, after being given experimental drugs to combat illness, mutated. he no longer needed sleep. alongside his physiological changes, he discovered he had gained the ability to manipulate dreams, induce nightmares and hallucinations, and read the minds of those who were sleeping.

I've wondered if everything in this world is as it seems. given our criminal statuses, given how much our mysterious jailers (?) know of us, it seems unusual we'd be given so much free rein.

( anyway. )

I've died three times in all. this doesn't bear any hallmarks of any of my deaths. have you met many who were deceased?

[fatalism]

perhaps they do not consider us truly dangerous within the laws of this place. or perhaps it is that we can't really leave so having us chained in a dungeon is pointless. most of us are not inclined to cause trouble when we know so little of our circumstances and others, such as yourself, wish only to help.

in my world death is permanent.

[enactors]

( 'wish only to help' WHAT A CHARITABLE READING OF IT. )

I wish to help those who both need and deserve help.

anyone that falls outside of those bounds will find I am capable of a far more interesting approach.

[fatalism]

of course, you are an ex-soldier after all. violence is familiar a creed as any prayers you recite for those who pass on or are under your care.

[enactors]

violence is as much who I am as it is a familiarity.

( which isn't to say that marc disagrees with what fyodor's — astutely — surmised, but in marc's mind, it's an important point of difference. he wasn't a soldier for all that long: long enough to get through boot camp, long enough to end up in the middle east, long enough to have a pattern of bizarre behaviour that could no longer be explained away or reasoned. long enough for his history to be looked into.

then he'd been kicked out and though the path he'd followed had still been rich with war, anyone that'd ever thought to call him a soldier had followed it up with an 'of fortune' — a tidier way of putting it than the blunt truth.

the crux of it, though, is that marc feels that his soul and his entire being is indelibly linked with being violent, the antithesis of his father. )

[fatalism]

i won't lie, that is a fascinating answer. very honest too. then you've fully come to accept the sins that follow

[ in an odd sort of way, fyodor can relate. his own ability is violence with the purpose of punishment, his whole being is a crime. who can kill with a mere touch and really consider himself free of sin? he might try, but he knows better. ]

[enactors]

I'm sure my therapist would have a thing or two to say.

( 'sins that follow' is an odd way of putting it, one that marc's not sure about. it's a sentiment that sits in contrast with his desire to be a better person, to do better. for all he thinks that he's a blunt tool capable of little more than brute force, there's still a slim sliver of hope that it's not all he is. )

learned to live with the sins of my past.

( that is

a lie. )

[fatalism]

[ sinning is inevitable in fyodor's opinion; but well, he is very unimpressed with human nature in general ]

then we should ask them if they get here and see what they would say. curious creatures therapists are.

[ but hm... ]

have you? then my most heartfelt congratulations, not many of us have.

[enactors]

( marc's definition of 'live with' is—

loose.

marc's definition of 'live with' is to acknowledge and use as a primary driving force of actions, nestled tightly alongside a smorgasbord of guilt and self-loathing. he lives with his sins because he lives and they exist.

by no stretch of the imagination is he comfortable with them, nor is he anywhere near forgiveness.

which is to say, he doesn't really have a response to fyodor's reply. he knows his answer had been circuitous and not quite true, but he doesn't know how to clarify it and nor is he sure he wants to — it'd open a can of worms he'd much, much rather avoid for the time being.

eventually, he explains — sort of — )

versus accepting sins to come. ( or whatever. ) I'm not trying to be flippant, but I don't know what I'll do. ( that old chestnut: 'no-one knows, not even me, what I'm capable of.' )