video.

[enactors]

( marc still isn't entirely sure where he falls on the 'is this actually real?' question he's asked himself more than a handful of times since finding himself here, since finding the parchment with his crime(s).

still: it feels real enough, and for now that's enough.

he's dressed in a suit — it's white in its entirety, with small crescent moons serving as buttons and cufflinks. it's — fine. it's an outfit that says he — before here, at least — probably spent a small fortune on dry cleaning, and begs the question of how long it's going to stay looking Like That (answer: not long).

with one leg crossed over the other, there's a breath of a pause before he speaks. this isn't how he normally does this, but then, this isn't normal by any — even his — definition of the word. )

My name is Mr. Knight. ( is it? of course not, but there's nothing to marc's demeanour that says otherwise; and for those familiar, his accent says 'chicago!' ) I'm a priest. ( certainly, by A Definition, and by that, we mean 'by marc spector's definition and no-one else's, except (maybe) an ancient egyptian moon god's'. )

At home, I ran a mission — the Midnight Mission — through which I protected my community and my people. Travellers of the night. ( a breath of a pause and he holds up a hand (gloved, white, because of course) and gestures vaguely at his surroundings. ) A change in circumstances doesn't change my duty. If there's anyone that requires help or assistance with, ( at night, because marc is Dedicated, ), no matter how strange or unusual, please don't hesitate to reach out.

Comments

[fatalism]

perhaps they do not consider us truly dangerous within the laws of this place. or perhaps it is that we can't really leave so having us chained in a dungeon is pointless. most of us are not inclined to cause trouble when we know so little of our circumstances and others, such as yourself, wish only to help.

in my world death is permanent.

[enactors]

( 'wish only to help' WHAT A CHARITABLE READING OF IT. )

I wish to help those who both need and deserve help.

anyone that falls outside of those bounds will find I am capable of a far more interesting approach.

[fatalism]

of course, you are an ex-soldier after all. violence is familiar a creed as any prayers you recite for those who pass on or are under your care.

[enactors]

violence is as much who I am as it is a familiarity.

( which isn't to say that marc disagrees with what fyodor's — astutely — surmised, but in marc's mind, it's an important point of difference. he wasn't a soldier for all that long: long enough to get through boot camp, long enough to end up in the middle east, long enough to have a pattern of bizarre behaviour that could no longer be explained away or reasoned. long enough for his history to be looked into.

then he'd been kicked out and though the path he'd followed had still been rich with war, anyone that'd ever thought to call him a soldier had followed it up with an 'of fortune' — a tidier way of putting it than the blunt truth.

the crux of it, though, is that marc feels that his soul and his entire being is indelibly linked with being violent, the antithesis of his father. )

[fatalism]

i won't lie, that is a fascinating answer. very honest too. then you've fully come to accept the sins that follow

[ in an odd sort of way, fyodor can relate. his own ability is violence with the purpose of punishment, his whole being is a crime. who can kill with a mere touch and really consider himself free of sin? he might try, but he knows better. ]

[enactors]

I'm sure my therapist would have a thing or two to say.

( 'sins that follow' is an odd way of putting it, one that marc's not sure about. it's a sentiment that sits in contrast with his desire to be a better person, to do better. for all he thinks that he's a blunt tool capable of little more than brute force, there's still a slim sliver of hope that it's not all he is. )

learned to live with the sins of my past.

( that is

a lie. )

[fatalism]

[ sinning is inevitable in fyodor's opinion; but well, he is very unimpressed with human nature in general ]

then we should ask them if they get here and see what they would say. curious creatures therapists are.

[ but hm... ]

have you? then my most heartfelt congratulations, not many of us have.

[enactors]

( marc's definition of 'live with' is—

loose.

marc's definition of 'live with' is to acknowledge and use as a primary driving force of actions, nestled tightly alongside a smorgasbord of guilt and self-loathing. he lives with his sins because he lives and they exist.

by no stretch of the imagination is he comfortable with them, nor is he anywhere near forgiveness.

which is to say, he doesn't really have a response to fyodor's reply. he knows his answer had been circuitous and not quite true, but he doesn't know how to clarify it and nor is he sure he wants to — it'd open a can of worms he'd much, much rather avoid for the time being.

eventually, he explains — sort of — )

versus accepting sins to come. ( or whatever. ) I'm not trying to be flippant, but I don't know what I'll do. ( that old chestnut: 'no-one knows, not even me, what I'm capable of.' )

[fatalism]

[ had he been given further clarification, dostoevsky would've sat with it: chewed, swallowed, processed. but every person must sit with themselves first and foremost, and what he's seen in his world and in this one is not enough to convince him of changing his own plans. ]

we are all constant sinners and we all seek continuous absolution from them. i am aware you're not being flippant, i merely meant that knowing the sins and not shying away from them is admirable.

i'm so sorry every tag is 5 million words of bullshit and then 1 actual sentence

[enactors]

( marc and reasonable explanations or clarifications are not things that can or will ever co-exist, alas. marc's versions of explanations — except with his therapist, sometimes — skirt around reasons, avoid deep acknowledgement and absolutely do not touch on his personal feelings. andrea had accused him of talking how he thought moon knight should talk: glib and kind of angsty, rather than talking as marc spector.

she hadn't been wrong. marc is not eloquent, he doesn't elucidate. he's terse and abrasive and it's a deliberate endeavour to not be.

what it means, too, is that the conversation is rapidly reaching a point where marc doesn't really want much more to do with it: he's comfortable — to a certain extent — admitting that he has been a terrible fucking person, and he's comfortable — again, to a certain extent — admitting that he's trying to not be a terrible fucking person.

what he's less comfortable with is someone telling him is admirable.

aka marc's expression is a whole lotta :<

he starts about five different replies — 'I was taught sins are a part of life' (true), 'atonement is the important part' (also true), something about it's hard not to recognise one's sins when they involve killing people and excessive violence — before deleting each one. the one that starts with 'my father' is deleted with as much force as he can manage given the technology (the will is there even if the technology does not allow for a satisfying follow through). )

I was a mercenary. it'd be hard not to.

( is what he finally, eventually settles on because it doesn't actually explain anything in any meaningful shape or form, although it does give a vague slice of context. )

never be sorry i love this cr

[fatalism]

quite the profession, isn't it? [ no judgement attached, after all his own work is along those lines with a final goal in mind. he has offered his services in exchange for money, not physically, fyodor looks like the merest breeze might blow him over but his mind is exceptional. his ability to plan and plan and plan and predict outcomes is what allows him to be an exceptional hire. ]

mr.knight you are quite the interesting individual.