expiationnet | text; un: shades

[Keep pace!!

Phoenix hears the fear in her voice and it's actually enough for the fiery bird to slow down, just a little. She's grown a bit attached to this human herself and it's not a sort of tone she actually likes hearing from her... no, it's actually quite upsetting. So! She'll make sure that Kotone can always see her while turning her head around just a little to make another squawk at her. Obviously, she understands everything she's saying.

Like she's just leading them to the boy with the glasses. Isn't she clear?? Huff.

Maybe it will help a little that Phoenix seems to be flying back home, not to any place unknown. Scott's house comes to view and she finds herself flapping in front of the door, annoyed that it's closed. Come on, girl with XXII hairclips, open it!! Hurry up!!]

[Under other circumstances, Kotone might squawk back at her, pretending they're having a full conversation. As it is, sometimes she's pretty sure she actually can understand Phoenix's intent, but this time, she's almost afraid to hope. This is the route back to the house, isn't it? Could Scott be...?

No, she can't even finish that thought, just picking up the pace. If she gets her hopes up that Scott is back, and it turns out not to be true, it would be so much harder to move on. It's been a week, hasn't it? So if he's going to come back, it would be now, but... if he's not there, that means he's gone for good.

She skids to a stop in front of the door and doesn't even pause to catch her breath, shoving the door open to let Phoenix through.]

[She's going to get so many treats after this. At least, she better!!

But as soon as the door opens, Phoenix takes no time to fly in and she's far quicker this time, not quite waiting for the XXII girl to keep up as she soars to the room that both Kotone and Scott share. Luckily, the door is already open this time and Phoenix immediately goes in and it's not long before a triumph squawk resounds from inside the room, the noise audible from even outside.

When Kotone manages to get inside, she'll spot a familiar figure. Well, familiar, but one that is also kind of unfamiliar at the same time. It's definitely Scott, at least some version of him--

Because Scott is fully dressed in a X-Man uniform, complete with a visor covering his face instead of his usual sunglasses, and he almost looks serious... other than the fact that Phoenix is currently residing on his shoulder with a puffed up chest, the chonky bird torn between looking pleased and forgetting that she's supposed to be mad at her host, soon pecking the boy in the cheek with her beak.]

Hey-- ow!

[Scott complains, a gloved hand reaching up to run through some of her feathers, as if telling Phoenix to calm down.]

Birdie!!

[Phoenix is off like a shot, and Kotone almost trips as she follows, grabbing onto the doorframe to swing herself around and dash through the house. It's hard to catch her breath, hope fighting its way past her anxiety as her legs shake from the exertion of sprinting all the way here, but she can't stop yet. She gets to the door to their shared bedroom and skids to a halt at the threshold, eyes going wide.

He looks like her Scott, but he's wearing a visor and uniform she's never seen before. Phoenix doesn't seem suspicious of him, but she's also pecking him with her beak, so--]

...Scott?

[She barely manages his name through gasps for breath, afraid to hope that he's her Scott. That he remembers her.]

[Of course he remembers her. ~~Now he does~~

A small part of him notes how she's panting for breath, like Kotone didn't stop running until she got here. That-- that's exactly what happened, wasn't it? She ran all the way here, for him. His mouth parts, something lodged in his throat, and he knows that he should be the one saying anything right now. Reassure her, run to her, but the weight of everything he feels towards her is nearly overwhelming. Suddenly, thoughts of his world, of his status as a X-Man, falls to the back of his mind as he takes in the person that he cares about the most. Loves the most. It's like everything has narrowed solely on her.

All of those memories are real, he's sure of that now. He woke up in this room, confused, until those images in his mind settled in-- and they're not just dreams. Not when there's pictures of them and handcrafted items filling his room, showing that what they have is real and--]

Kotone.

[He finally manages to respond, her name escaping his mouth and it's just one word, but it's filled to the brim with feeling and recognition. His voice cracks as he takes one step closer to her. He's not sure why he's even hesitating at all, but Scott feels breathless, maybe a little afraid that she might disappear. Probably unfair of him, because he was the one that disappeared on her. His lips tremble, wanting to apologize for leaving her alone for who knows how long.]

[He remembers her. To him, the emotions cascading across her face have to be obvious; excitement, relief, and still a little bit of fear, because while he doesn't look any older, she has no idea how long it's actually been for him. Maybe he's with Jean now. She wouldn't be mad. All her feelings get all tangled up into a big mess, and when she opens her mouth, nothing comes out at first.

She'd been too afraid to think about what she'd do if he came back, and now that he's here, she almost doesn't know what to do. She knows what she wants, though, and that's going to have to be enough as she takes a few quick, shaky steps forward to close the distance and wrap her arms around him, burying her face against his chest.

There are so many things she wants to say, and in the end, the only thing she can choke out is,] I missed you.

[It's technically been months since he's seen her, but the memories he just received feel so fresh in his mind. So, it's not hard to read each of those individual emotions that cross Kotone's face, starting from excitement and ending in fear and he understands why. She's afraid that he forgot her. It's always been a big thing to her and when people disappear from this world and come back, there's always a chance that they don't remember anything.

Both Kotone and him have been on that end of the stick before. And it hurts, every time, to be forgotten. Like those memories didn't happen or only exist in one mind instead of two. Charles said that even if people forget, their souls are still affected, but it's hard. At least he won't cause Kotone that sort of pain today. No, it's his job to only comfort her now. He left her waiting, missing him.

As soon as Kotone wraps her arms around his, her face buried against the fabric of his uniform, Scott immediately returns the hug. His arms wrap around her, holding her tight as he presses his lips against the top her head.]

I missed you too. [He says, quietly, words audible even though he's pressed into her hair.]

[She closes her eyes, soaking in the warmth of his arms around her, the press of his lips against her hair and the feel of his body against hers. The uniform is weird and different, but he's Scott. He's her Scott.

Her throat closes up when he says that he missed her, and all she can manage is a quiet little noise as she grips him more tightly. She doesn't know how long it was for him, and she can ask later if he meant the whole time he was gone, or just the span between reappearing here and her arrival -- honestly, she isn't even sure if she wants to know. But it's what she wants to hear right now.]

...You okay? [she asks quietly, voice starting to break. She should look and check and make sure he's not hurt, but that would mean letting go of him, and she's not quite ready to do that yet.]

[It's that small crack in her voice that gets Scott to hold her even closer, face still buried atop of her head as he deeply breathes. She's still trying so hard to keep it all together, huh? That's how Kotone is. He can already imagine his girlfriend smiling behind a forced grin the entire time he was gone, probably wondering, maybe hoping, that he'd return. He can only hope that he's wrong and she managed to... release some of her feelings in some way, but he doesn't want to talk about that right now. Because they're both here, together. Reunited. It's lucky that he returned, huh? If returning to Aldrip could be considered as such.

With Kotone in his arms, Scott's willing to say 'yes,' especially since he still remembers everything. Even if he's stuck in this simulation once again, at least she's here with him. He can't imagine anyone else that he'd rather be with right now.]

I'm okay. [...] And I know that you haven't been okay. I'm. I'm sorry, Kotone. But I'm here now. I'm here and... I remember you.

[He says, wanting to make sure that she knows that above all else. Guess she probably could've figured by the way he's hugging her, but Scott wants to say it out loud too.]

[She sniffles quietly against his chest, sucking in a soft breath when he says she hasn't been okay. She tried really, really hard to pretend that everything was okay so nobody would worry. But it was hard. Scott's been here with her so long, and they've watched so many come and go and even forget them, so it was so hard to believe that he'd be back and everything would be normal again.

But he's here. He's here, and he remembers her. She inhales another shuddering breath and swallows hard, trying reflexively to compose herself.]

I'd be really mad if you forgot, [she tries for a joke that doesn't quite land, the emotion too real in her voice as she holds him tight.] I'd have to eat your Valentine's chocolate.

[Definitely the worst thing that could happen if he'd forgotten her!]

That threat would jostle anyone's memory.

[Scott tries to joke back, but there's a small hitch in his voice that he can't hide.

Valentine's chocolate... he missed out on that day with her, huh? He really planned on getting her flowers and chocolate and drive her out to somewhere in Aldrip, a place only for the two of them. He went to sleep the night before with all those plans in mind, but this place decided to toss him back home after all this time. After almost two years, he finally found himself back at his world with no memory of Aldrip, and returning home from his trip to the mall and finding the mansion and Alex--

He ignores the piercing pain that shoots through his chest at the thought of his brother.

It's so hard and it hurts so much, but focus on other things-- focus on the girl he loves so much. He has Kotone in his arms and he just wants to think about her. He knows that he should see his friends and everyone else, but Scott would rather take the next few hours spending them with just her. They can be selfish like that, right? What's wrong with that??

He pulls away just a little, never too far, so that he can lift his gloved hands to Kotone's face, thumbs still managing to gently trace down her cheeks as he smiles warmly at her. Almost like he'd never look at anyone else the same way. It's still present, familiar, despite the visor that covers his eyes instead of his sunglasses.]

I love you.

[Not that she'd tell anyone but Scott, but she'd really been looking forward to Valentine's Day this year. Last year, she'd thought it would like how she'd celebrate it in Japan -- giving Scott chocolates, spending some time together, but nothing super crazy or elaborate. Knowing now how much Scott likes to give her things or create unforgettable experiences, when she'd woken up without him, she'd honestly assumed he was trying to surprise her with something.

Then he hadn't come back. It's not the holiday itself that's important, but it's the intent and expectation that he'd be there for her. She's the one who always said "nothing lasts forever," and yet, for a little while, she'd all but forgotten that. Now that he's here, in front of her, she almost doesn't know what to do.

Almost. When he caresses her cheeks with his thumbs and looks at her like that, smiling as warmly as if they'd never spent any time apart, she can't help but smile back. It's smaller and more tentative, warring against the glimmer of tears threatening to gather in her eyes, but it's there nonetheless. Even if she still can't see his eyes, she can read his expression as easily as can be.

Trusting him to guide her with his hands on her cheeks, she leans up in an obvious request for him to kiss her -- but not before she manages a soft, heartfelt,] Love you, too.

[He brushes a thumb right underneath her eye, seeing the hint of tears forming there. It tugs at his heart, seeing this display of emotion from her. It might not be over the top crying, but this is still significant to him, breath lodged in his chest as he rubs the delicate skin there. It really is painful to think that he forgot all about this, forgot about her, but he really, really, doesn't want to think about it right now.

Instead, he guides Kotone, hands fully supporting as he leans down to press their lips together, only stopping midway when he hears her words. Love you too. He knows, but after everything that's happened back home and the uncertainty of being back here, even though it's probably only been a week, it matters so much.

He doesn't vocally respond, deciding to show it through action instead. Scott closes their remaining distance to slide their lips together in something that still feels instinctual despite the months he missed with her. He might've been home for three or four months, but that's still nothing in comparison for how long he's been with Kotone, let alone known her. It must be almost two years, right? So, he's still been with her longer.

There's only a slight pause at first, like he is getting used to kissing someone again, but it fades quickly, Scott clearly getting more comfortable as he keeps their mouths locked and his fingers gently holding her cheeks in full support. He has her now, for as long as he's here. As they promised.

He remembers that, those words spoken at the beach. There's so many memories of them together and maybe he'll take the time to really recount them all, but later.]

[She closes her eyes and lets him draw her in, parting her lips to kiss him like they've done dozens, if not hundreds, of times, and yet she could never be tired of it. Never be tired of him, even if it feels like it takes a moment to really fit together like they used to. He feels different somehow, sturdier -- maybe the armor? Her fingers travel curiously up his back, along his arms until her hands clasp the back of his own as if to hold him there.

She tilts her head to lock their lips together more closely, and just like that, it feels like it always has, the familiar warmth of his lips against hers. Drawing back to catch a short breath, she dives in again for another kiss as if she's afraid to be away from him too long, like if she pulls back too far, he'll be gone again.

Sorry, Phoenix!]

[His X-Men uniform is certainly different compared to his regular clothes. It is specifically fitted for him, nearly clinging to his body while providing that extra protection. With those materials, it's probably not the most comfortable suit to hug, but as long as Kotone doesn't show any discomfort, Scott doesn't even think about pulling away. Not when they've finally reunited like this.

It's been a few months since he's last seen her, even though he just remembered everything right now. It is weird and confusing but everything also feels right when he's with her. He doesn't want to think about forgetting her again. He wants to specifically remember this moment like all the other memories they've shared so far, her hands holding the back of his as their kiss turns deeper and more intimate.

Phoenix has left her perch on Scott's shoulder to snuggle on top of the bed. She doesn't want to deal with those two!! She is still expecting her treats later. Like many!!

Meanwhile, Scott will pull away, just a little, lips moving against hers as he quietly speaks to her.]

Sorry for leaving you. And worrying you.

It's not your fault.

[Her voice is equally as low, lips brushing his with every word as her fingers tighten against the backs of his hands. It's nice that he's apologizing, but she knows if he could have stayed with her, he would have. Even if she knows they can't be together forever, she knows Scott would never leave without at least saying good-bye if he had any choice in the matter.

(She's pretty sure he wouldn't leave her even then.)]

What happened? You look like you're gonna go into battle.

[Letting go of the back of his hand, her fingers brush curiously against the side of his visor, then down further to knock gently against the armor protecting his shoulder.]

[He knows it's not his fault, but he wanted to say it anyway. He still feels bad for leaving her in Aldrip, not entirely alone, because they both have so many supportive friends, but Scott is well-aware of how much impact his missing presence had on her. After all, he'd be entirely devastated if he was in her shoes, if she suddenly disappeared on him to return home, wondering if she'd ever come back and clinging to that hope until the very end. ...Even if she came back and didn't remember him, at least she'd have another chance at life, right?

It would hurt so much though.

But he pushes all those thoughts away, thumbs still gently stroking along her cheeks as he lets her explore his new appearance. His visor, his new uniform. Scott makes a small noise in the back of his throat, one that tries to push back those mix of emotions. It wasn't that way back home, but coming back here, remembering the other mutants and what it meant to live in a 'peaceful' timeline... and that's gone now. Maybe.]

...I'm officially a X-Man now.

[He answers in that same quiet voice. There's so much in that acknowledgement and how he got there and he's trying to still work through it. He still just wants to hug Kotone to him and not let go.]

[She hums quietly in acknowledgement, her eyes never leaving his visor. He doesn't elaborate, and maybe he doesn't have to; it seems like the other "official" X-Men here didn't have an easy time of it before arriving here. Somehow, she'd kind of hoped that Scott wouldn't ever have to experience that kind of stuff, but... no such luck, huh? Everybody gets called to defend what they care about in the end.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she leans up and pulls him in, her hand on the back of his head gently coaxing him in case he wants to just bury his face in her shoulder and not think about it for a while. She's never been the one to needle and push at the things people don't want to talk about; if Scott wants to tell her more, she knows he will. When he's ready.]

You look handsome in your uniform, [is all she says instead in an attempt to startle a laugh out of him, or at least distract him for a minute.]

[Isn't he supposed to be the one cheering her up? Kotone was the one that was left alone and waiting for him, unsure if he'd ever return. But here she is, gently pulling him closer until Scott wants nothing more than to bury his face against her shoulder as a shuddering breath leaves him. She's just... home. And much more. He doesn't say anything yet, doesn't explain more about all the changes back home or his status as a X-Man, preferring to just soak in her presence. Remind himself that he still has people that can help remind him to be normal, even if they're also people he wants to protect more than ever.

Plus, he just wants to be close with Kotone. He loves this more anything. He truly has missed her, even though he didn't remember to feel that way until now. So, he'll talk about things later, and he knows his girlfriend well enough that she's okay with that. She always seems to know what he needs at the moment.

There's a surprised laugh that comes out from Scott when he hears her, although he doesn't pull away. He keeps his head buried against her shoulder in a manner that's mostly comfortable, his arms now wrapped around her.]

Yeah? [Then he teases:] What's your favorite part?

[Admittedly, she didn't get a great look at his uniform in her rush to hug him again, and this angle doesn't really give her the best view anyway. Maybe later, after she's had a chance to fully appreciate it, she can give him an honest answer (the butt); for now, she just pats the back of his head.]

This part, [she says simply, meaning the teen inside. Under all the differences, whatever his experiences, whatever had happened, he's still Scott. Her Scott.

She closes her eyes and tightens her grip just that little bit more as another wave of emotion courses through her. He really is here, with her. He really came back.]

[Huh? Over there? The back of his head is one of the only places on him that isn't covered by his new uniform. It's just him and-- oh. That's what Kotone is getting at. His cheeks redden as the full realization hits him; he's her favorite part and it's such a sappy answer, but one that gets Scott to tighten his arms around her as he nuzzles against her shoulder. He loves her, so much.

Even with all those new expectations placed on him, Scott can't help but want to just be here. With her.]

You're cheating with that answer.

[Scott mildly teases, but there's that easy, open laugher in his voice. One that's fully comfortable with her. It sounds the same like before, despite his new uniform and visor.] And are you saying that you like the back of my head more than my face? Wow.

You're the one who wanted me to be more honest!!

[It's as much genuine sentiment as it is returning his tease, her fingers twining into his hair and holding him close. In spite of it all, his laugh makes her laugh, because it's so much like him. It's like he'd never been gone at all. Her laughter bubbles up, shoulders shaking, and then before she knows it, she's sniffling back tears.]

Huh...? [she draws one hand back to touch her own cheek, feeling it come away wet. Why is she crying...? Isn't she supposed to be happy? She was just laughing a second ago, so why does it feel like her heart might burst from all the emotions swirling around inside?] S-sorry, I don't know...

[She has to pull her other hand back from his hair to press to her eyes in an attempt to stop crying. They must be happy tears, right? Tears of relief? It's so unlike her; she just doesn't know, and she can't stop shaking.]

[It's that first sniffle that gets Scott to gently pull back from her, enough so that he's no longer pressed against her shoulder and instead looking at Kotone with a small, if patient smile. It hurts, of course, seeing her cry, especially since he's the reason for it. A part of him just wants to wipe her tears away, but he wants her to be able to cry like this. As much as she wants. She's always had trouble fully expressing herself at times and he doesn't want to interrupt it now.

So, he keeps that same look, only reaching up to brush some of her hair away from her face, tucking it behind an ear as she continues to wipe her eyes.]

It's okay, Kotone. [That she's crying. That she doesn't know.] I'm here now, so... it's okay.

[And honestly, he doesn't want to go back home. Not without making sure that he remembers her. Or. Maybe something more. He's always felt that way and it's only become stronger now, seeing Kotone in front of him.]

I know, but I'm... [she chokes out a noise and honestly isn't sure if it's a laugh or a sob as she presses palms more tightly against her eyes. These have to be happy tears, right? Just that all the emotion she'd been building up over the week, the stuff Quentin had needled her about, is all spilling out right now like someone broke a faucet.] I'm really... I'm really happy you're back.

[She leans her head into his hand, sucking in ragged gulps for air as she struggles to stop crying, laughing at the same time with the absurdity of it all. Didn't she used to be the one who always kept it together for everyone else's sake? Maybe it's okay to let Scott see this side of her. Nobody else has to.]

I just... I just kept trying to do my normal stuff, but it was... everything felt so empty without you. I... sorry.

...I know.

[Her feelings really are in a tangled knot, huh? Numerous, overwhelming, Scott understands how that is. It's how he often feels when he thinks about certain things here, sometimes feeling on top of the world, other times hurting so bad he doesn't want to get up. It's a mess, so fucking hard to deal with sometimes, but Kotone's always supported him with how he felt. It's only natural that he does the same for her.

He brings his other hand up to lightly cup her face, while still supporting her head with the other, as he gently brushes his thumb across one wet cheek.]

It's okay feeling all this, don't forget that. Don't apologize-- I got you.

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