expiationnet | text; un: shades

Entry tags:

text; un: shades

[Scott's been feeling all kinds of ways since returning to Aldrip. A little off his feet? Not upset exactly, not when he remembers everyone important to him, but it's still a lot. Kind of weird that he's actually older here than back home, and that's not mentioning suddenly getting almost two years of memories shoved inside his head that he completely forgot about until now. But he's trying. A part of him wants to just lie on the bed with Kotone and just take more time to himself, but he figures that he should say something to his friends.

Maybe focusing on them will help. Better than thinking about Alex or how Apocalypse sort of ruined everything back home.

He breathes in, fiddling with his tablet. Something in him wants to change his username from 'shades' to 'cyclops,' but maybe not right now.]

hey, i'm back now. sorry if i worried anyone. a lot happened, like, back home. yeah i went home and came back. i'm okay though.

[None of that sounded super awkward, right.]

if you wanna meet up, i'll be at the diner. you're paying though.

[ooc: Scott's back from his canon update and just Dealing with Stuff. Totally open to threading Scott meeting others in person! Also, he'll be back in regular clothes for the time being, but he will be wearing his visor for now.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's not your fault.

[Her voice is equally as low, lips brushing his with every word as her fingers tighten against the backs of his hands. It's nice that he's apologizing, but she knows if he could have stayed with her, he would have. Even if she knows they can't be together forever, she knows Scott would never leave without at least saying good-bye if he had any choice in the matter.

(She's pretty sure he wouldn't leave her even then.)]

What happened? You look like you're gonna go into battle.

[Letting go of the back of his hand, her fingers brush curiously against the side of his visor, then down further to knock gently against the armor protecting his shoulder.]

[He knows it's not his fault, but he wanted to say it anyway. He still feels bad for leaving her in Aldrip, not entirely alone, because they both have so many supportive friends, but Scott is well-aware of how much impact his missing presence had on her. After all, he'd be entirely devastated if he was in her shoes, if she suddenly disappeared on him to return home, wondering if she'd ever come back and clinging to that hope until the very end. ...Even if she came back and didn't remember him, at least she'd have another chance at life, right?

It would hurt so much though.

But he pushes all those thoughts away, thumbs still gently stroking along her cheeks as he lets her explore his new appearance. His visor, his new uniform. Scott makes a small noise in the back of his throat, one that tries to push back those mix of emotions. It wasn't that way back home, but coming back here, remembering the other mutants and what it meant to live in a 'peaceful' timeline... and that's gone now. Maybe.]

...I'm officially a X-Man now.

[He answers in that same quiet voice. There's so much in that acknowledgement and how he got there and he's trying to still work through it. He still just wants to hug Kotone to him and not let go.]

[She hums quietly in acknowledgement, her eyes never leaving his visor. He doesn't elaborate, and maybe he doesn't have to; it seems like the other "official" X-Men here didn't have an easy time of it before arriving here. Somehow, she'd kind of hoped that Scott wouldn't ever have to experience that kind of stuff, but... no such luck, huh? Everybody gets called to defend what they care about in the end.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she leans up and pulls him in, her hand on the back of his head gently coaxing him in case he wants to just bury his face in her shoulder and not think about it for a while. She's never been the one to needle and push at the things people don't want to talk about; if Scott wants to tell her more, she knows he will. When he's ready.]

You look handsome in your uniform, [is all she says instead in an attempt to startle a laugh out of him, or at least distract him for a minute.]

[Isn't he supposed to be the one cheering her up? Kotone was the one that was left alone and waiting for him, unsure if he'd ever return. But here she is, gently pulling him closer until Scott wants nothing more than to bury his face against her shoulder as a shuddering breath leaves him. She's just... home. And much more. He doesn't say anything yet, doesn't explain more about all the changes back home or his status as a X-Man, preferring to just soak in her presence. Remind himself that he still has people that can help remind him to be normal, even if they're also people he wants to protect more than ever.

Plus, he just wants to be close with Kotone. He loves this more anything. He truly has missed her, even though he didn't remember to feel that way until now. So, he'll talk about things later, and he knows his girlfriend well enough that she's okay with that. She always seems to know what he needs at the moment.

There's a surprised laugh that comes out from Scott when he hears her, although he doesn't pull away. He keeps his head buried against her shoulder in a manner that's mostly comfortable, his arms now wrapped around her.]

Yeah? [Then he teases:] What's your favorite part?

[Admittedly, she didn't get a great look at his uniform in her rush to hug him again, and this angle doesn't really give her the best view anyway. Maybe later, after she's had a chance to fully appreciate it, she can give him an honest answer (the butt); for now, she just pats the back of his head.]

This part, [she says simply, meaning the teen inside. Under all the differences, whatever his experiences, whatever had happened, he's still Scott. Her Scott.

She closes her eyes and tightens her grip just that little bit more as another wave of emotion courses through her. He really is here, with her. He really came back.]

[Huh? Over there? The back of his head is one of the only places on him that isn't covered by his new uniform. It's just him and-- oh. That's what Kotone is getting at. His cheeks redden as the full realization hits him; he's her favorite part and it's such a sappy answer, but one that gets Scott to tighten his arms around her as he nuzzles against her shoulder. He loves her, so much.

Even with all those new expectations placed on him, Scott can't help but want to just be here. With her.]

You're cheating with that answer.

[Scott mildly teases, but there's that easy, open laugher in his voice. One that's fully comfortable with her. It sounds the same like before, despite his new uniform and visor.] And are you saying that you like the back of my head more than my face? Wow.

You're the one who wanted me to be more honest!!

[It's as much genuine sentiment as it is returning his tease, her fingers twining into his hair and holding him close. In spite of it all, his laugh makes her laugh, because it's so much like him. It's like he'd never been gone at all. Her laughter bubbles up, shoulders shaking, and then before she knows it, she's sniffling back tears.]

Huh...? [she draws one hand back to touch her own cheek, feeling it come away wet. Why is she crying...? Isn't she supposed to be happy? She was just laughing a second ago, so why does it feel like her heart might burst from all the emotions swirling around inside?] S-sorry, I don't know...

[She has to pull her other hand back from his hair to press to her eyes in an attempt to stop crying. They must be happy tears, right? Tears of relief? It's so unlike her; she just doesn't know, and she can't stop shaking.]

[It's that first sniffle that gets Scott to gently pull back from her, enough so that he's no longer pressed against her shoulder and instead looking at Kotone with a small, if patient smile. It hurts, of course, seeing her cry, especially since he's the reason for it. A part of him just wants to wipe her tears away, but he wants her to be able to cry like this. As much as she wants. She's always had trouble fully expressing herself at times and he doesn't want to interrupt it now.

So, he keeps that same look, only reaching up to brush some of her hair away from her face, tucking it behind an ear as she continues to wipe her eyes.]

It's okay, Kotone. [That she's crying. That she doesn't know.] I'm here now, so... it's okay.

[And honestly, he doesn't want to go back home. Not without making sure that he remembers her. Or. Maybe something more. He's always felt that way and it's only become stronger now, seeing Kotone in front of him.]

I know, but I'm... [she chokes out a noise and honestly isn't sure if it's a laugh or a sob as she presses palms more tightly against her eyes. These have to be happy tears, right? Just that all the emotion she'd been building up over the week, the stuff Quentin had needled her about, is all spilling out right now like someone broke a faucet.] I'm really... I'm really happy you're back.

[She leans her head into his hand, sucking in ragged gulps for air as she struggles to stop crying, laughing at the same time with the absurdity of it all. Didn't she used to be the one who always kept it together for everyone else's sake? Maybe it's okay to let Scott see this side of her. Nobody else has to.]

I just... I just kept trying to do my normal stuff, but it was... everything felt so empty without you. I... sorry.

...I know.

[Her feelings really are in a tangled knot, huh? Numerous, overwhelming, Scott understands how that is. It's how he often feels when he thinks about certain things here, sometimes feeling on top of the world, other times hurting so bad he doesn't want to get up. It's a mess, so fucking hard to deal with sometimes, but Kotone's always supported him with how he felt. It's only natural that he does the same for her.

He brings his other hand up to lightly cup her face, while still supporting her head with the other, as he gently brushes his thumb across one wet cheek.]

It's okay feeling all this, don't forget that. Don't apologize-- I got you.

[She sniffles again and wipes her nose with the back of her hand, trying to at least contain that. It's funny, almost, how their roles have almost reversed, huh? It feels like usually she's the one holding him when it's all too much, a thought that brings a fresh surge of tears to her eyes again. It's not that she doesn't know that she'd be able to move on, eventually, from him being gone. It would hurt so, so much, but she knows she can do it. She's had to do it before. It's that he's here, with her, and she doesn't have to struggle through every day with that yawning emptiness clawing at the center of her chest.]

You're so strong, [she manages finally, though her voice still breaks and tears still fall in spite of her attempt at laughter.] Really.

[Another mighty sniffle, and she makes to step back, wiggling her hand toward the box of tissues on their dresser. Their dresser, just like this is their room, the room she shares with him. The life here in Aldrip she shares with him.]

[Scott doesn't refute her words, but that's because...]

I'm strong because of you and everyone else. So, let me take care of you. [An honest thought that Scott feels on a daily basis, but he tries not to admit it that much. Even for him, it borders on something that's too mushy. However, if there was any moment where he should be fully open and honest, it's now. It's always easy with Kotone anyway. Partly because he trusts and loves her, but because that's what they promised each other anyway.

He remembers their exchange of words, something that was made over a year ago on that rooftop. So many things they've shared together on the roof, huh? No wonder it feels like their 'spot.'

Scott watches as Kotone tries to reach for the Kleenex, and as if sensing what her host really wants to do, Phoenix flies over to the tissue box before grasping it in her little talons. With a small 'coo,' she flies back to the two teens and dumps the box in Scott's hand, which the teen will offer Kotone with a small smile.]

Phoenix agrees too.

[Phoenix... fresh tears well up at how kind the bird is being to her, and she huffs another laugh along with it as she takes a tissue from the box in Scott's hand. To think she'd been so wary of Phoenix when she'd first appeared, but now the bird really feels like she's part of the team. Kotone blows her nose, ducking her head a little so Scott doesn't have to see and feeling a little silly even so. Nobody likes it when girls cry, but Scott's weird anyway, so it's probably fine.]

She stayed with me almost the whole time you were gone, [she admits, giving Phoenix a grateful, if watery, smile once she looks up again.] It's how I knew you weren't in Aldrip anymore.

[And that there'd be no point ripping the city apart looking for him. She still feels guilty deep down for not being able to rescue Ryoji in time when Bondrewd had captured him; if something happened to Scott after all that, she'd burn the city to the ground to try and find him.]

...I'm really glad you're back, [she adds more quietly, sniffling back the rest of her tears and pulling out another tissue to wipe her eyes. Her chest aches with all the emotions she'd been holding in, but it's okay because he's here now. She doesn't have to hold it in anymore.]

Did she now?

[Scott turns his head slightly to look at the preening bird, wings spreading as if to say 'yes, I took care of the girl while you were gone!' Praise her! Admire her!! He only rolls his eyes, somehow understanding the slightly spoiled behavior she's exuding, although there's no hiding his appreciation for Phoenix. If she really watched over Kotone while he was gone... he definitely owes her a lot of treats.

Phoenix makes a happy and self-satisfied 'coo' in response.

But he soon returns his attention back to Kotone, head turning back with that easy smile. Not that he's a frowny grumpy jerk when dealing with others, but it really comes so easy when it's just the two of them. And Phoenix, of course.]

You're the person I wanted to see the most.

[He admits as he lowers himself just slightly, before placing a kiss on top of her.]

[She manages another laugh, wiping away a few more tears. She knows that can't be true; she knows there's no way he remembered her while he was gone. It's a thought she tries to push away before it can summon up a fresh wave of tears, because it's not his fault. She knows he means it now, and that's enough. He's enough.]

How long was it...? For you?

[One more sniffle and a blow of her nose, then she jams the tissue into her pocket as if with that motion alone she could stop herself from crying. That is enough crying!!]

Are you older than me now? [and she tries for another tease, trying to to recapture their usual banter.]

Just a couple of months. Really, I've been gone longer from my world in comparison.

[So, honestly, he's older here in Aldrip. Then became younger when he returned home, then got almost 2+ years added to his age when he returned?? It's so weird; time stuff is weird!! Although, in a lot of ways, he does feel older-- maybe more experienced is the right word? All those memories of her and everyone else, of everything they've faced, are now building on everything he's dealt with back home. It's a lot. Not in a bad way. It's impossible to say that, when he's with her right now.

A warm breath exhales against her hair, Scott just fully taking her in again. Wanting to remember this moment just as much as everything else.]

And no one is older than you. [He smiles against the top of her head, the tease in his voice clear as he wraps one arm around her back.]

[Her laughter is as startled as it is amused, and she pokes at his side in search of a place in his armor where she can still get him. Rude!! Also-]

I thought boys liked older women!! [she protests, laughing again even as a few more tears escape her best efforts.] Dating their teachers and stuff!!

[At least her laughter is outpacing her tears now as she tries again to find somewhere to pinch him. C'mon, its cheating to wear armor like this!! But if it means she gets to keep him close, she'll deal with the armor. Although...]

You should let everybody know you're back. [She wiggles, just enough to press a kiss to the bit of his neck left exposed by the armor.] Let them know you're okay.

[He snorts, a laugh catching in his throat as she tries to poke him in his side to no avail. Her attack is thwarted... what is she going to do now? Scott's grin spreads further against her hair, barely stopping himself from sniffling as they ease into this easy banter. It's like he never left, huh? Of course, he didn't want to leave her to begin with.]

What kind of tv shows and movies do you watch, Kotone? [He can tell that she's still crying though, just not as much, but it prompts him to start rubbing her back in reassurance. They can joke and tease each other like this, but he doesn't want to stop comforting her. As much as she needs it, he'll happily give it.]

What if I just want to spend the rest of the day with you?

[It almost sounds like a joke, but there's something in his tone that suggests that he would actually rather spend this day with her. He'll tell everyone that he's back tomorrow, that's okay, right? Even if it's not really okay, he doesn't really care too much.]

Rio's friend Kenji!! [she protests with another laugh, because hey, it's not TV! It's real life!!

But then he says he might want to spend the rest of the day with her, and she smiles, tucking her chin in against his shoulder. It's a nice thought, even if she knows it's not the right one. That he actually means it really does mean a lot to her as she wipes the last of her tears from her eyes.]

You could. But you know everyone really missed you, so you won't.

[There's a fond, quiet confidence in her voice, even as she gazes up at him. She'd like nothing more than to spend the rest of the day in his arms, maybe curl up in bed beside him and just listen to the sound of his heartbeat. But that would be way too selfish, and after everyone helped her in spite of their own pain, she can't keep him all to herself.]

[Scott bites his lip, because he really just wants to stay with her right now. He of course misses his other friends and he truly wants to see them, but Kotone is the person he loves the most and can't they just be selfish?? Isn't that okay? He knows that she wants him to do the 'right' thing, but maybe for him, that's just spending more time with her.

Maybe he can make some sort of compromise, because not telling his friends that he's back is kind of a dick thing to do. Kurt's probably worried, amongst others. Scott sighs, his other arm wrapping around her in a hug.]

I'll send a message, say I'm back.

[He relents, but.] I'll also mention that I just want some time alone with you today.

[Her smile softens in response, because he does really love her, doesn't he? Not that it was in doubt, but that even after months of not seeing his other friends, he still wants to spend time with her and her alone is still mind-boggling.

She really is lucky, isn't she? To have someone like him in her life once again. Leaning up, she presses another gentle kiss to his cheek.] Okay.

[If that's really what he wants to do, she won't argue. She knocks a hand against his armored shoulder, sniffling back the last of her tears.] After you send it, can I hug you without your armor, then?

[There's no hiding Scott's own relief, his smile growing when she relents. This is what he really wants and he's sure their friends will understand. He'll get them lunch or something later ~~or make everyone grab him lunch--~~.] Okay.

[He repeats warmly, breath leaving from him in a small laugh. He's so lucky that she's still here. Yeah, only gone for a week, but anything could've happened in that timeframe. He knows this. It's why he really just wants to take this single day to be with her. No one else, just the two of them.]

Don't like the armor that much after all, huh? [His smile grows, but he nods, easily agreeing to her request. Honestly, it's harder to feel her in this uniform, so just hugging her again without all that extra padding? Hugging just like they used to? Yeah. He wants that too.

With one low sigh, he slowly pulls away from her, only so he can get started on sending a message to their friends and pull his outfit off. Of course, Scott can't stop himself from gently wiping one tear from the corner of her eye, still looking at her like she's the world to him.]

Not for hugging!

[Even as they part, she's not quick about it, letting her fingers trail across his uniform until she's too far back to easily reach him. She can at least get one more tissue, wiping at her face before blowing her nose one more time. Now that she has the time and the space to get a better look, it is a handsome uniform -- though maybe that opinion is influenced by the warmth of his smile, the gentle brush of his thumb against her skin making her heart swell in her chest.]

I love you, [she says quietly, the genuine sentiment shining in her eyes. Even if she still can't see his, and can see even less with his big metal visor, he's still her Scott. He still loves her, even after how long it's been for him.

But okay, enough sappy stuff!! Let her get the tissues out of the way and actually take a look at all of him in his armor, clasping her hands behind her back and skipping around to get a better look.]

I love you too.

[He returns simply, like it's a fact of the universe. As cheesy as it sounds, it really holds true to Scott. Loving Kotone is just a thing he does, no ifs or buts about it. He might have returned home, bonded with Jean just a little more, but... he honestly just loves the girl in front of him. Jean will always be important to him, he will always have her back, but the moment he returned here, that romantic interest pretty much vanished.

It's a lot, honestly.

But as she busies herself with a tissue, Scott finds his tablet and starts work on composing a message. Look, the faster he gets this done, the faster he can just spend more time with her. He'll just quirk one eyebrow at her when she continues to skip around him, but for the most part, Scott just decides to let her be. She's just being cute.]

[Is it just the suit, or does he look more fit? He said it's only been a couple of months, but maybe it's the way he carries himself that makes him feel even more mature than he was already. He must have been through a lot back home, huh...?

Her hands fall to his shoulders as he starts typing, following the curve of his biceps and then up and along his shoulder blades. It's definitely protective armor, but it fits him really well! Her hands trail down to the small of his back, then lift for just a moment.]

It really is a good uniform! [she compliments, right before smacking his butt. It's right there! No imagination required!]

Edited 2025-03-21 11:40 (UTC)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject