expiationnet

[Thanks Dazai, you're a bro, probably.

'No Longer Human' feels like an ironic name to Scott, since taking away an ability would make someone feel normal, right? It's how he sees it anyway. He's not sure whether or not to feel disappointed that Dazai isn't able to control his power either, because relatable, but also, he can't really ask him for help, can he?

Well, other than being able to look at things in color, which he still appreciates, but.]

Not the worst power that's uncontrollable. [He lets out a small sigh, but Scott decides to forgo the self-pity otherwise.] More people that can qualify for the Freak Club, right?

[But yeah, he wouldn't mind meeting these people who also have powers and everything.]

Ah, yes, but it also isn't fun. Never get hugged at company parties! Will bleed to death even with a healer around! So forth, so forth!

(it's so simple, but also, so sad? stripping something from someone that makes them whole, makes them them, and trapping it to let it scream silently inside someone - even if dazai's own life depended on it.

alas, he shrugs, nonchalance even when he does mean something serious.)

A subjective term, don't you think?

[Scott gets the healing thing, but why no hugs?? Seems extreme. Not... that he's going to offer to hug him or anything; the asshole is probably joking anyway. Yeah, that's totally what's going on and he doesn't need to think about this any longer.]

What, now you think I'm not one?

[Scott folds his arms across his chest and almost huffs, not quite getting he's missing the point. It's fine. Learning process.]

I never said I thought you were a freak. I'm simply giving you the courtesy of treating you as you chose to address yourself. I think you're perfectly fine.

(or, well, for now. if he isn't, it won't be because of his abilities. dazai's own partner has a god of a singularity within him - that could be thought as freakish, but he's fine with it.)

[Right, he said that earlier, treating him the way that he thought of himself. It's easier to listen to him now because he's not being a complete asshole about it, not to mention that he just helped him. Maybe it was a small thing for Dazai, but to him, it really meant something.

He feels his arms slowly uncross, now taking a more timid stance as he rubs his arm in an almost uneasy manner.]

...Thanks. [He's not sure if he's going to fully drop that description, but Scott doesn't have much inclination to start a Freak Club or anything like that anymore. Guess it's cancelled.] I'd like to meet these other people that you know still.

(the reasons why dazai is doing these are plenty - he always has reasons upon reasons for most of his behavior, as is. for him, there's been a wall between him and a promise he has made to a deceased loved one - he'd save rather than kill. he hasn't been saving nor killing, but helping and trying to be good, even selfishingly, can count for something, anything.

second, he's not the right person for this mentoring job. he can be a support, a crutch, but this feels more on the alley of a certain tiny mafioso man, whose most annoying, however most admirable skill is finding his humanity even when his situation can drown him in otherwise.

besides. said mafia man needs a project and a purpose to function well, and just taking care of dazai and his roller-coaster of haunting depression won't do it. so, he'll stick his hands into his pockets, gesturing for them to start walking.)

Come on. I'll lead you to the slug.

[Another passing thought of 'should he really just go around with a stranger' goes through his mind, but like before, he shoves it to the back of his mind. Nothing can go wrong sort of befriending a dude that he knows nothing about and can restrict his optic blasts with a single touch. Yeah, it's fine.

In fact, he'll introduce himself and everything. Scott gathers his small amount of courage and looks at Dazai with a more straightforward posture, no longer clenching his arm.]

I'm Scott, by the way. So you don't have to call me freak anymore. [Character development or something like that.]

(his arm wraps around scott's shoulder, a gesture out of niceness. even if he doesn't take off the sunglasses, it has got to feel better than to have that activate at any time, right? sounds nightmare-ish!

one step after the other.)

I'm Dazai. There, see? You teach people how to treat you. No more freak, see? See? I'm going to introduce you to Chuuya, he's very tiny, but I promise you he's an adult, alright?

[The arm around his shoulder is nice and while Scott doesn't remove his shades, just the fact that he doesn't feel the pressure in his eyes is appreciated. A small reprieve, even if it doesn't really hurt. Now, that would royally suck.]

Yeah yeah, I understand. [Scott rolls his eyes, but there's a smile to him once more, tension leaving his body. He's not sure when he'll be 100% okay with his powers, but it's not like he has to feel that way right away.]

And sure?? [Is this how Dazai talks about his friends-- probably, yeah. Scott's not even going to ask.] I don't care what he looks like if he can help.

(he wouldn't expect such a change to work overnight, over minute, after all. it's internalized, isn't it? from calling himself a freak to understanding where dazai's coming from. this is just a kiddo, he has time to process, to understand, and perhaps he'll feel comfortable in his own skin if he meets someone who struggled through this and won - even if it's not the same.

either way, he snorts.)

You'll grow much, much taller than him! Remind him at every second, ok? Good, good-- Here's my door. Let me see if he's here.

(he says, once they're in the inn, in front of his shared room.)

CHUUYA. CHUUYA!! KIDDO DELIVERY.

(-- ah, no response. one of them has to work.)

Ppft. Here. You can find the slug here, and you can find me, too. Whatever you do, don't just enter that room-- (the one next to his own,), and you're good. Or, you can just call him. Tell him Dazai sent you to talk about abilities, yeah? Chuuya Nakahara.

[Scott peers at the door that Dazai is referencing to, because he wonders what's in that room now. He's not so blatant as trying to bust in right in front of him, but curiosity has taken hold of the mutant. Perhaps luckily for Scott, it's hard to read his expression, and the teen only nods as if he's totally going to listen to him.]

Chuuya Nakahara, okay.

[He repeats his name to himself once more, really trying to remember it. If he is a guy that can help or at least understand his situation a bit more, it's definitely a start.]

I guess you want to go back to your drink now, right? [Scott doesn't want to seem needy or anything, especially since Dazai's already went out of his way to help him, but he can feel some earlier anxiety return. He'll probably be fine though, he just has to wait for this other guy now or call him sometime.]

Yeah, sure do! Watch me!

(fun fact, this room is his, too. he won't acknowledge the joint beds as he enters, bringing scott with him by the wrist and closing the door behind them. he works only when he has an opportunity to lend his brain, and considering the fact that chuuya works much more, all his money goes into that stash of drinks that he reveals when he opens a cabinet.

perrrfect!)

[Scott feels himself tugged into into the room, just surprised that Dazai didn't sort of ditch him here so that he can go drinking elsewhere.

He stands there almost awkwardly, mostly uncertain about what he should be doing right now. He briefly takes in his surroundings and notices the joint beds, but nothing really stands out to him. A small part of his brain worried that he walked into the room of a serial killer, but it doesn't look like it.

Not that he really knows what a room like that looks like--]

I didn't know you had an entire collection here.

Naturally, I do! Unfortunately, kiddo, you get none! I don't trust you enough yet, what if we have an accident, hm? Ah, but you're welcome to destroy Chuuya's things at any time.

(not this bottle, not this, ah, this one. he hops a little in place, there's no difficulty grabbing any, but scott might be able to tell dazai put them in there as insult to injury - dazai's long, noodly, it's easy for him to grab it.

once he's back, he sits at the table, opening it with a sip, who cares for glasses?)

Talk to me, though! How long has your ability been activated?

[Oh, so he's not offering a drink because he's underage or anything, but because he doesn't trust him. That actually stings a bit and Scott immediately does his best to push that feeling down, actually glad that his shades cover his expression for the most part. He's frowning, yeah, but he could be frowning for a lot of reasons!!

Although, it's not like he can really blame Dazai either.]

I'm not gonna destroy anything!

[A little more hard to hide that defensive tone though.]

...And a couple of days. Feels much longer though.

(can't blame him, though, unknown teenage-ability-user. if he thinks dazai cares, unfortunately, he doesn't for a lot of things. it's at least good enough to listen to what the boy has to say, perhaps he can help.)

Ah. So it's new. The glasses, though?

About as new as my eyes.

[Scott does his best to stand still, not wanting to fidget in place. At least answering these questions is somehow making him feel a little better, because if there's anything he sort of trusts Dazai about, it's his ability. He genuinely helped him there-- is helping him.]

Got them just a day later, from my professor. Thankfully. Else I'd be closing my eyes this entire time.

Ah, so you already have a mentor. Sounds good, isn't it good? Quick help! My mentee figured out his own ability next to me, except-- ah, he's a giant tiger sometimes? I get your issue, totally, sorta, when it's not with me!

(it's a carefully crafted way to explain to scott he's not alone, that dazai's done this before, that he has enough knowledge on how these things affect another. his own doesn't damage anything other than people's psychological states when they're stripped of parts of themselves.

a whole different deal.)

[Transforming into a giant tiger sounds sort of cool...]

Sort of, yeah. But he's not here.

[Scott would be happy to see either Xavier or McCoy, figuring that they can both help in their own ways. It'd also be super helpful if his brother was here, since his power is sort of similar to his.

But. He's not.

He's supposed to be there for him and while Scott knows that he can't fully blame him for this one, it doesn't stop him from being upset.]

I'm supposed to learn how to control my optic blasts, so I don't have to keep wearing these glasses all the time. Become a normal and productive member of society again, I guess.

You can be one even with the glasses, kiddo, I've seen worse abilities and incredible men and women. Either way, perhaps before we start working on those abilities, you should tell me why you want to be normal so bad! Are we not normal?

(it's all a matter of perspective, isn't it? dazai certainly isn't xavier. he's manipulative, and he does things that he believes are in the best interest of the ones under his wings, whether they know or not, whether they like it, or not.

whatever it takes for them to grow and survive.)

Uh, no?

[Scott answers with a slightly scrunched face, almost like he's in disbelief having to say this in the first place. How can shooting lasers from his eyes be normal? Or being able to teleport or read the minds of others?]

If my shades accidentally slip one day and I end up shooting the nearest mall down, that's going to suck for everyone. [Scott seems to wrestle with something, like he's not sure if he wants to say anything further. But. Fuck it, guess it's honesty hour time.]

I don't want to constantly worry about hurting everyone around me and that the only thing protecting others from my ability is a pair of sunglasses.

Based on limited data, we can't know if you can control it or not. I can't predict everything in this place, unlucky for all of us! That said, kiddo, if you can control it, you will. Times of hardship teach us more than navigating them.

(dazai would know. while he's smiling, his mind goes to when he was akutagawa's mentor. the shooting, the level of abuse he put the boy through. wrong as it was, the more dazai punched him, the more he shot at him, the better he noticed what his ability could do, the more it shaped him to survive in the harsh mafia environment. he's alive, breathing, a fighter like no other, and on top of the ranks.

it was terrible, it was unjust, and awfully immoral, but it worked, after all.)

You're not alone here, either. It's a good number of us, perhaps-freaks. All I should be able to do is, should my boss show up here, he'll be able to help you directly. I can only go so far.

(because... he should not! ruin one more kid!)

Edited 2023-05-28 04:24 (UTC)

I just have to start practicing. Somehow.

[Tell his brain to stop shooting eye beams. Yeah, that's going to work well, but Scott decides to hold off any sarcastic remarks because this is something he's taking seriously. Maybe he can eventually turn them off, it's just... trying to find that starting place.

Or find out that he can't control it, ever. But he doesn't want to think like that right now.]

Yeah, we'll see if he can. [Scott's fine with waiting for this guy, even though he also feels some restlessness from standing around as well. The teen buries his hands in his pockets and tries to calm himself a bit, willing to stay quiet, but there is something that he's been meaning to say to Dazai, especially after the show of support he's still showing him.]

...Hey, um, thanks again. For helping me. [Scott looks from the wall to Dazai, figuring that he can at least man up enough to say this directly at him.] You're a pretty good guy and... everything.

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