014. 💥 TXT; UN: BOMBSHELL

[opheliac]

hi, its me! jinx, ur favorite loose cannon and demolition diva! im good, how are u? never better.

im in a pissy mood, so WE are going to do something that is fun for me. but firsts thing first:







feast ur eyes on THIS! i know, i know. me? jinx? running a kitty cat cafe? look even a semi crazy chick like me loves these little furballs. and the other me made a KILLER living with this coffee joint. annnd i still remember how to make my famous strawberries n' creme, java chip frappuccino, ristretto, cold brew, and other stuff. soooo why not right? ill still take ur repair orders and junk too. if u need ur guns or weapons made, im still ur girl! i can make ur coffee AND ur bombs at the same time. they go hand in hand anyway.

the first 5 customers who comes to my shop gets to pet and hold fishbones. and THATS a steal offer. so id take it if i were u.

okok on to the fun part!!!!!!!!!💣💥💣💥💣💥

when i get hot and heated, i like to explode my problems away. get rid of them and just shred them into teeny tiny little pieces until they are nothing but worthless worms underneath my boots. have them wiggle all around and watch them fight for survival!

the big wigs or whoever are very picky so how about i blow UR problems away? so. lay it on me. did someone kill u recently and need a cool idea on how to get them back? is someone u love or care for keeping secrets from u and it makes u want to blow up their vocal cords? got into a nasty fight and u want them to apologize to u first cause it's their fault and not urs?

whatever problem u got, jinx is here to listen and give out a few pointers! im a genius, so i know all the answers. keep it anonymous or not, ur choice. i don't care

or if u DONT have a problem and u just miss me and wanna chat, im here for that, too! so let's go go go go go 🙈🙉🙊

Comments

[opheliac]

the café stuff has been in my head since we got trapped in that other realm. and the only way to get something out of ur head is to yank it out and make it come out in front of u.

ooooooh. nooot sure how they are with dogs. they natural enemies so they might fight. some might be ok with each other tho. but ok, 5 kittens for jumpy! its in my noggin.

huh, oh yeah. its one of those private stuffs.

[coolerjunpei]

that was before i got here but i know all about other realms, sort of. how'd you all get out?

i mean it's up to the cats, gab's an old man who sits around eating cheese and sleeping all day... i'll still visit, dog-free.

you wanna tell me more about your cafe stuff instead? sorry, i've got nothing to blow up.

[opheliac]

i thiiiink the system just crashed eventually?? also the more we figured out "hey this is all made-up", the more things went kaput!

awwwww an old fart! we got to love those.

seriously? u DONT have any problems or issues or anything? come on, this place MAKES u have problems. whether u want it or not.

[coolerjunpei]

oh, kind of like with lucid dreaming, i guess. but for a whole group in a simulation. weird.

and i have a dog now, so what problems could i possibly have?

[haha.]

seriously though, not really? i had way more problems before. i could make something up.

[opheliac]

nah dont make something up. i hate fakers and liars. so what do u want to know about the best business in the whole world?

[coolerjunpei]

hmmmmm, did you pick out the cats yet? do you know how to do that foam art stuff?

[opheliac]

1. yes! theyre at the café now. i checked on them earlier today. theyre all good!!

2. like do little cute hearts or stars in drinks? also yes.

[coolerjunpei]

yeah? what are their names?

can you do a cat? it's thematically appropriate. you gotta have foam cats.

[opheliac]

[ her replies will be coming a little slower, but she is trying to mask she is busy or talking with other people. which she is, but there's more to it than that. ]

mr. stinkbomb, mama, loudmouth, and pat-pat.
yeah i can do that. its tricky but not impossible.

[coolerjunpei]

[Junpei has embraced his choice to be helpful-distraction-guy here, so he'll just... assume she needs fewer distractions from her business. Seems logical.]

those are definitely names..... is mama the one having kittens?

i'll order a bunch of cat coffees so you can practice.

[opheliac]

yea. and thats a waste of coffee if ure not going to drink it u know.

[coolerjunpei]

who says i'm not gonna drink it? i can drink it.

[opheliac]

somebody is fffiiibbbiinngggg 😋😋😋😋😋😋😋

[coolerjunpei]

and how would you know? i could be a caffeine maniac.

[opheliac]

hmmmmm... well if u are, i DO need an addict to keep it going.

[coolerjunpei]

now that i've got a real job, i'm gonna need at least one coffee a day. we'll see if i actually need, you know, five.

[opheliac]

oooooooh what a big boy u are!!!

[coolerjunpei]

yeah i'm a whole adult. i'd even pay bills if this place was normal. really cool stuff.

[opheliac]

u lost me at paying for a place to stay. thats richy rich lingo.

[coolerjunpei]

well, it's slightly above the poverty line lingo, if you're me..... basically everything i had went into rent even after i quit school.

so it wasn't cool stuff. that was the joke.

[opheliac]

that might be the smartest thing ive ever heard u say. or read.

school is chumps and for people who dont know a thing or two about the world. and they need someone to spoon feed them peas because they don't know how to use their hands.

the outside world can teach u more than a room trapped in 4 walls.

[coolerjunpei]

i mean

sure, but i mostly just learned how to do math.

[opheliac]

i could have taught u that and i never went to snore-school!

[coolerjunpei]

too bad we're from different places, then. although most of my school time was, like... required by law.

[opheliac]

havent u heard? laws and rules are made to be broken.