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Application Download | un: thecapn

[ On the morning of the first of July, a new pop-up greets everyone who logs onto the main network: ]

NEW APPLICATION DOWNLOAD: ADOPT-A-PET

PURPOSE: PET ADOPTION APPLICATION

WOULD YOU LIKE TO ALLOW DOWNLOAD? Y/N

[ Once you have hit download, the app will load itself onto your tablet, and a new message will greet you: ]

Hey everyone, this is Jim Kirk. Welcome to Aldrip's shiny new Adopt-A-Pet app! These lovely puppers are looking for good homes; all adoptions will go through Kakashi. Please reach out to him if you have an interest in any of the dogs you see here. We'll update periodically as dogs are adopted/new dogs taken in; please @thecapn in the help tool to alert me if you notice anything glitching with the application itself.

ARIEL

Shepherd mix

Ariel is hoping to become "Part of Your World". This sweet pupper is ready for her next adventure. Ariel knows sit, down, and takes her treats gently.

CELESTE

Retriever

Meet Celeste, the 1-year-old Chocolate Lab/Husky Mix. She is currently working on skills like "off, "sit, and "touch. Celeste likes to settle down with a nice chew after her training sessions.

SCHNITZEL

Maltese

Schnitzel is an energetic Maltese mix looking to find his forever home. He's a goofy boy who loves squeaky toys and tennis balls. Schnitzel is also very affectionate and will lean in closer to you to get more cuddles.

code

[ ooc: feel free to make up any dog you want, the above is just an example of what the interface of the app looks like! ]

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[ Honestly, maybe it would have been easier if he left out the usual circumstances, Ange thinks. It would have been easy to just blame it on that - and it's not like it'd be a lie. Those circumstances really have been making her feel worse on top of it all, and it's a convenient shield to hide behind. It's something they're all suffering, after all. It doesn't make her seem like the weird one.

But with that taken away.. all she can do is refuse to answer, or force herself to open up a little.

Both are difficult in their own way and for their own reasons, and after a moment - once the girl makes her decision - she actually looks over at Jim, though there's something weirdly shy about her gaze compared to their previous encounter. ]

You'll probably think it sounds ridiculous. It's a long story.

[ Precisely why he did it. He was more than familiar with the type, the ability to keep everything to yourself and pretend like all was right in the world even when it felt like it was crumbling - yeah. Whether or not Ange decided to take him up on it...Jim would be remiss if he didn't offer. If he didn't extend the hand, the shoulder to lean on, when he was able. The first step to any kind of resolution is admitting that there's a problem, which Ange had done, in her usual upfront style.

Jim's answering head turn is slow, measured almost, blue gaze earnest and clear when he meets her, dead on. This is a different girl than the one he met on the docks, and definitely different from the obstinately curious girl he'd exchanged theories with over the network. ]

Try me. I think you'd be surprised. [ He's from a future where he maps out the galaxy in a spaceship. Jim tilts his head, empathetic smile turning up the corners of his mouth. ] I've got time, if you want to talk about it.

[ When their gazes meet and he speaks up with those words, Ange holds the gaze for a few moments. It's like she's staring into his eyes in order to find something there - almost as if she's looking for something.

Whatever she was looking for, it seems like she must have found it. Because when she finally breaks eye contact to instead look at the dog again, the girl lets out a deep sigh and actually starts talking.

Despite the fact that it's just the two of them here - well, and the dog, but still - her voice is quiet, like she still doesn't want anyone else to overhear. ]

When I was six years old, my parents and big brother left to go to a family conference. I couldn't come, since I was sick that day. They told me they'd be right back in a few days, but.. they didn't come back. Some mysterious incident happened on the island they were at that killed them all. My aunt was the only one who returned, and since we were each other's only living relatives, she was forced to adopt me.

[ The girl idly reaches out with one hand, her finger drawing nonsense patterns on the ground. Like she needs to distract herself a little in order to be able to keep talking - or maybe to be able to keep talking with a tone that's at least somewhat neutral, without fully dipping into something miserable. ]

She hated me. She verbally abused me every single day, and she hit me too. Aunt Eva didn't allow me to have contact with anyone, so all I grew up with was her doing that stuff to me all the time. Even when I could finally leave the house when I could go to school, she sent me off to a boarding school where all the girls bullied me and the teachers didn't care. They did the same thing as aunt Eva. And when I graduated school, my aunt on my mother's side of the family started hunting me down in order to murder me and steal the inheritance for herself. [ A slight pause, a shake of her head, and then: ] I know. It does sound ridiculous, right? Like some sort of crazy melodrama.

[ Even if it's her actual life. ]

And that's not even getting into all the witches that have been dragging me into their crazy magic games right before I showed up here, showing me all sorts of awful stuff and killing me over and over. And then I got dragged to this place instead, and stuff is so awful there too, and..

[ It's then that her voice finally wavers, like even Ange - practiced as she is at this - can't keep up the effort to fully hide her feelings in front of him anymore. Her voice shakes, like she's about to cry. ]

Sometimes it'd feel easier if one of those deaths would just stick, so all of it would be over.

[ Jim holds her gaze until Ange is the one to break away, silent as he absorbs the information. She wasn't kidding, it sounds - totally batshit. Not that he doubts her for a single, solitary second, but just that every new thing he hears in this place from one of these poor kids sounds like a movie. Then again, he doesn't exactly have room to talk. Jim keeps his expression as openly neutral as possible, even though Ange isn't looking at him - just in case, not wanting her to feel like he's judging her for anything she's telling him. Still, Jim's only human; he can't help the spark of anger in his eyes, the set of his jaw, at the thought of someone treating her so horribly. He listens, one hand buried in Bones' fur, and the dog settles and stills too, as if sensing the shift in topic to something more serious.

Jim only lets it sit a beat, after Ange's confession, before he says: ] That sucks.

[ Was she expecting something more eloquent? More adult, and therefore likely more patronizing? Probably. Jim sits more firmly on the ground, tailor-style, folding his hands in his lap. It's just the truth: it sucks. Whether or not Ange chooses to look at him, Jim's gaze is steady, imploring and even. ] I'm so sorry, Ange. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

It's hard, dealing with all of that. It's so hard, and it does look easier, giving in to it. Grass is always greener, right? [ It doesn't make it better. Nothing can, and Jim knows that much to be absolutely true. He exhales, leaning back on his palms, letting them sink into the grass. Something grounding - it helps. ] I can't imagine what you've been through. But my stepfather was...similar to your aunt, in a lot of ways. My brother ran away because he couldn't take it anymore, but he couldn't take me with him. I went away to school and I thought I was escaping something but -

[ Jim cuts off there, shaking his head. She gets the picture, and he's only trying to show her that he does understand, to a certain extent, not get into his ridiculously awful childhood. He's through it, on the other side, but for her it's real, it's now. ] My point is, things can be bad. Things can be so terrible you can't imagine they can get worse, and then they do. Wishing it would be over...I think that's normal. Wanting to give in, just so you don't have to fight it anymore.

But that's not how it's supposed to be. [ And this is the key point, here, when everything feels hopeless and the world keeps beating you down: it's not supposed to be like this. ] Even if the whole world is treating you one way - Ange, I promise you, they're the ones who are wrong. It's not you. It never was.

[ She does look over at him.

Not even necessarily because of the kind stuff he's saying at the end there. Ange isn't entirely sure how to handle any of that, really. No, it's what he says before it that makes her look. The part about his stepfather, the part about his brother. It makes the teenager turn her gaze towards him, making the fact that there actually are tears in her eyes - though they aren't falling just yet - even more clear. ]

.. is that what you told yourself?

[ Ange asks. Slowly, quietly. ]

When you were going through all that stuff? [ Having to deal with his stepfather, wishing for his brother to take him away, only for that to be impossible. Ange knows what that is like, even though the only place her own brother could have lead her into was death. ]

No. [ Jim's smile is apologetic, but it's clear that he's not lying to her. Not trying to tell her things as a platitude, but just sharing in the truth. It's the number one thing adults get wrong, in Jim's opinion (and damn, he qualifies as an adult now, doesn't he? They really are screwed.) Horrible things happen to kids, and pretending that they're not, handing them platitudes instead of the real stuff - just cheapens it, all over. ] But it's what I wish someone would have told me, back then.

[ The if there had been anyone around goes unspoken, but he's pretty sure Ange gets it. ]

It's harder to see, when you're in the middle of it. [ Bones nudges his head against Ange's leg, wet nose brushing her knee. Jim smiles and leans back on his hands. ] When you're in survival mode, you're just trying to get through the next day. The next hour. It's only once you're out the other side that you can really see how far you've come.

I don't think there is an other side for me.

[ Ange avoids his gaze as she says it - but Jim is true in thinking that Ange gets a lot of what he's saying here. It's why she doesn't protest it. It's very true to her own experience as well.

This feels like the only difference. Not that she envies him for it. Jim seems like he's a really nice guy, and he deserves to be on this side of it. He deserves a better life than what he's gotten. ]

I'm already dead. [ Ange looks at Bones instead, gently petting the dog again as she speaks. ] I was only revived to do one single thing before I'll die again.

I'm so sorry, Ange. You mean...back home?

[ Jim presumes, but it could very well be Aldrip. Either way, the news puts a new furrow in his brow, despite Jim's best attempts not to let it through. But, obviously, hearing that a child - let alone someone like Ange, who's already been through more than enough - is dead is not good news. Peter Parker is similar, with his genocidal alien problem back in his home world, and it's no less concerning.

Jim tilts his head, blue eyes clear, thoughtful as he contemplates her countenance. ] What do you mean by that? What do you have to do?

[ There's a slight nod in response to the first question, though Ange doesn't seem to further elaborate on the how or whys of it all. Maybe it's since she doesn't want to talk about it, or maybe she doesn't actually mind and it's more just because he's asking another question.

One that's important enough to her that she has to answer that first. ]

I have to try and find the truth of what happened to my family. And then expose that truth to the world. [ She did call it a mysterious incident, after all. It seems like even Ange herself doesn't know the truth behind said mysterious incident.. ] That's all I still want to do.

How are you meant to do that? [ The question is gentle, a careful kind of prompting. Jim, of all people, can understand how delicate such a topic is. She might not know, or she might not want to get into it, but hopefully Jim can at least get across that he's willing to listen, whenever that day comes. ]

If there's anything I can do to help... [ There likely isn't, given the fact that they're stuck in this place, with no way of finding out any more about her situation and whatever is happening back in their respective homes, but Jim wouldn't be Jim if he didn't offer. ] Just say the word, and I'll be there.

.. I don't know.

[ It's not a total rejection, at least. Ange isn't shutting him out, or she would have been a whole more clear about it.

No, rather than her answer being some attempt at being avoidant or anything of the sort, it seems more like she just means those words. She genuinely doesn't know what he can do to help - and the helplessness she feels at the entire situation shows in her eyes, even though she isn't directly looking at Jim. ]

It's been so long already. It feels like there's no chance of finding out what really happened back home as long as I'm stuck here. It's not like we can just access information from our worlds.

Even if it's just sitting here with Bones, if that helps...I'm here. [ When it all becomes too much to bear, and the helplessness makes Ange feel like she's drowning. He's been there. Sometimes, things take time to come to their ultimate resolution, and sometimes...well, sometimes there's simply no resolution to be had. But having people around you to support you - if it's an option, and here, at least, it is - is the best defense. ]

You never know. Someone from your world could come through. [ It doesn't sound like there are many people Ange would want to see from home - at least, none she's mentioned so far - but there surely has to be someone who could help, who might have at least one of the puzzle pieces she needs. ] And I've noticed...sometimes it's more than just people, finding their way through. Some people have found objects, at the markets, or even outside their doors. If you keep looking, there's always a chance something might appear.

[ If only she knew what would help, really. Ange is even conscious of the fact that she doesn't know - and that's why she can only cling onto the one thing she thinks will help, even though it's the one thing that's unattainable in this place.

.. though he seems to suggest different. Ange glances over at him, though there's something a little worried in her gaze.

Like she doesn't want to give herself this hope from his words. Like she's too worried about it getting shot. ]

You think so? Even after all this time..?

I don't know for sure. [ Jim can't give her any assurances, but he's long since learned that words like impossible don't really have a place in the world when it comes to things like this. Not his world, anyway. ] But maybe. This place is...strange that way, you know?

[ The girl releases a soft sigh.

Then she learns forward, burying her forehead - and face - temporarily against her knees. There's a slight pause as she stays like that, but then she mumbles from that position: ]

This place has mostly just been torture to me. I don't know how to withstand it anymore. [ It's so hard to latch onto that tiny bit of hope when reality is just so constantly overwhelming, after all. When it feels like the bad often outweighs the good.

Though her admitting as much out loud is already more than what she usually does - which is keeping all of that to herself, burying it where no one can see it. At least she's allowing him to see it at all. ]

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Application Download | un: thecapn

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cw: mentions of child abuse, bullying, murder, suicidal ideation (I'M SORRY.. it's a lot...)

we love trauma bonding!!

I LOVE IT SO MUCH... thanks, jim, for being so good...... ;;

HE’S TRYING…

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