Video;

[drugsnotclubs]

[Sup, Aldrip! Shinjiro looks just as surly as ever, but now he's looking surly wearing one of the communal aprons from Kotone's cooking club. He even has his hair pulled back so it doesn't fall into what he's doing, how cute! His arms are folded, looking just past the camera for whatever signal that recording has started, and then begins, flat and even toned as usual.]

...So I'm finding out basically no one here knows how to cook for themselves. And I mean actual day-to-day meal food. Not just tea cakes and not crazy thousand dollar sushi or whatever. So we're gonna fix that.

Kotone wants everyone to come to cooking club, make friends, whatever. [he waves a hand as he says it. It's basically like a YouTuber telling you about their sponsorship because they have to.] So that's something you can do for hands on practice, especially if you don't got a big kitchen at home.

But before any idiots show up and ruin all the pans we got, I figured I'd start off by fielding any basic questions anyone's got. Lemme know how you're screwing up, and I'll see if I can't tell you what to do instead. If I can figure out how to attach a recipe to this thing, I'll do that, too.

...and if you can make something... I dunno, shoot us a recipe or something. Could always use more ideas to teach the beginners.


[And, he glances over and nods to Kotone, advertisement done!! True to his word, people can find a basic recipe for a stir fry in text, complete with notes about possible ingredient options and cook times (the cook time for certain vegetables is different, after all,) as well as two different sauce recipes for it, one more sweet, and one more umami. Sub in whatever leftover veg or meat you have on hand and it's an easy dinner.]

Comments

[invinciblemikey]

bitch say it to my face

[drugsnotclubs]

turn on your camera and I can you useless shit

Voice

[solitarysoul]

O-okay. When are we supposed to come?

[He's already part of the cooking club but only occasionally shows up.]

[drugsnotclubs]

....I dunno, whenever? I think Kotone's either here or across the hall in sewing club every day. Just shoot me a message if you need to be walked through anything and I can be there. I should find out if she's got specific club days.

What're you looking to learn?

[killjoyprince]

Is this going to be like that other club where we'll be forced into going? I belive Miss Kotone is involved in that one as well.

[TWAT club...]

[drugsnotclubs]

[forced?? Jesus naoto who hurt you]

...I sure as hell ain't rounding people up. What, you got kidnapped into a club?

[luneminary]

[Kotone is the only seal of approvement he needs, but Ryoji has been looking into making dishes anyway. Case in point:]

Hello there! I think I might need some help!

[Attached is a picture of chocolate in a pot. It's clear that someone with no cooking experience is trying to temper it to no avail.]

A girl said she wanted chocolate from me, and she'd be "fine with anything as long as you make it", but I want it to taste and look good! <(￣︶￣)>

Nope he's not matching this ones he's still video

[drugsnotclubs]

[this is it. Exactly the sort of idiot he did this for. The long suffering begins. He doesn't bother taking the time to type because this is a SIN that needs addressing.]

...okay, first off, take that off the heat and throw it away. Not the pan, but whatever the hell you're charring in there.

You gotta use indirect heat. It's called a double-boiler. Get a bigger pot, fill it with water, and heat that. Then put your pot with the chocolate in there so the water is heating it, not the stove.

What're you making with it?

text;

[izanagis]

I don't think anyone here's making thousand-dollar sushi either, to be fair.

Anything I can help with? Aside from recipes, I mean.

[Speaking of, he also attaches a pretty simple recipe to the message.]

[drugsnotclubs]

that's true. for a city on the ocean the fish here kind of sucks sometimes

Jump in wherever you want. We always need more people who know what they're doing to explain basics.

Damn this looks good, thanks man

[enthraller]

[Here's a new face! And it's a very pretty one at that.]

This is a very kind and sensible offer. I'd be happy to take you up on it, if that's alright. It's embarrassing to admit, but I don't know the first thing about cooking and I've been subsisting largely on the generosity of others so far.

[drugsnotclubs]

[hello androgynous new face!]

It's not really 'kind'. Kotone asked me to put out an ad, and I figure plenty of people need advice but not full-on lessons.

C'mon, I bet you know something. Even if it's just what part of an orange to eat and what part not to.

text | un: cpncrunch2301

[finalfrontiersman]

I'd be interested, if you don't mind a true beginner. I'll be honest, I don't know much about cooking. I can make tea and most breakfast food.

[ Tea does not count as food, Jim!! "Much" is nothing, actually, because where he's from, food is replicated out of a machine, molecule by molecule. He's programmed new recipes into the replicator...but that has more to do with what proteins make up a burger, and not how you char one on a grill. He can boil water? ]

So thank you for this recipe. Do you happen to know any vegetarian recipes I might be able to learn? My roommate is a practitioner.

one day i'll pick a network username for him.....

[drugsnotclubs]

That's enough to start with. Nothings really harder than that. just takes practice. Pick what you wanna make and come down sometime.

[He has to stare at that for a second, though. Vegetarian.... Sorry he's a teenager from 2009 Japan, so. uh.]

You can usually use some kinda fish instead, probably. Or do you mean like the temple monks eat? I know they don't use garlic or onion, either, sometimes....

text; un: tsuna27

[theskyaccepts]

How I get it to stop catching fire?

[drugsnotclubs]

lower heat, pay more attention. Use an oil with a higher smoke point maybe if that's what you keep catching.

Gotta say catching fire ain't that easy, what are you doing?

[private - audio]

[cursegod]

I would've asked if this was a hint to cook for you sometime, but I know Kotone is behind this.

[Dara chuckles before humming thoughtfully to herself.] Well, I could be inspired, who knows.

dara sending DMs.... cute....

[drugsnotclubs]

[Ah, audio. Makes sense for her weird ghost effects on pictures and videos-- but still means he can't see her get ridiculously flustered if he can manage it. She probably did that on purpose.]

Who else would it be? [He doesn't sound like he minds, though. Kotone's more than earned his respect.] She put a lot of work into getting the clubhouse back together and restocked. Might as well actually get people out to use it.

[He is totally fine with being the one that cooks between them (mostly because she... doesn't need to eat....) but he's definitely curious:]

Oh yeah? What do you make?

audio;

[threadmage]

[ There's a picture of stir fry attached. be proud of sandry for figuring out how to do that There's broccoli, carrots, bell peppers, snap peas, and chicken. Some bits seem just a bit blackened or limp and overcooked, and they're cut in wildly different sizes. ]

Thank you for the recipe, Shinji! I liked this dish but I'm not sure I cooked it well. Could you give me some advice?

[drugsnotclubs]

[....ok, he can't bring himself to correct her use of a nickname. She's just... Some well meaning weaver girl.

Also: great job!! ]

Hey, you did fine. Looks plenty edible.

Next time: try and cook things around the same size, so they cook evenly. It takes some practice, so don't feel bad if you don't get it exactly right.

And the cooking part of the recipe I gave is kinda tricky- you go too low with the heat, and vegetables end up too soft, you go too high and it gets kinda burnt. Make sure you're keeping it all moving the whole time, whichever you pick.

un: 21.34.55.89.144

[ashaya]

If you are unopposed to vegetarian fare, I have attached several recipes for your pursual.

[ and true to his word, there's the following files attached: plomeeksoupsubstitution.doc, honeyedbeetrootcarrotsalad.doc, ratatouille.doc. ]

As I have been informed that my particular cuisine may be considered "bland," I have also included a list of potential modifications better suited to a variety of palates.

[ it is mostly a number of different oils and spices. he'd queried fellow crewmates one day on what made vulcan cuisine more or less favorable to them. while some preferred the unmodified dishes, the above that he's included were ranked as "favorites." ]

[drugsnotclubs]

[Okay. Look. He doesn't really understand vegetarianism. Like... you can still have dashi??? Right??? But these recipes don't seem bad.]

I'll give these a try, thanks.

Anything bland just needs a direction to go in. Maybe I'll try it by itself and see what spices I'd add.

So what's with being vegetarian. Like you only eat vegetables?

[murderingjustice]

i'll send Akira there.

[drugsnotclubs]

Oh yeah? He suck in the kitchen?

[elevatoravatar]

"Wait. Does this mean that you are the one who wields the cooking club? I am curious to see how such a weapon creates food. Do you give demonstrations?"

[drugsnotclubs]

[....what?]

What?

video;

[marakunda]

Cooking is an important skill to have.

(Says the guy who boils the life out of everything ever.)

[drugsnotclubs]

Thanks for the support.

[He says it so dry SHINJIRO ARE YOU TAKING THE PISS OUT OF HIM OR NOT....]

So you plan on learning?

audio;

[skelters]

What's your speciality? That sounds pretty exciting!

[drugsnotclubs]

Specialty...?

[Huh. He's never thought of it like that.]

I dunno. Just... normal stuff. Regular food you make at home, that kinda thing. I don't got a lot of experience with baking or anything-- that's Kotone's deal. Guess I make pretty good tonkatsu...? But that's 'cause I did a ton of it when I worked at a place.