[ It's true. The Evoker has a certain weight to it, and a level of detail rarely included for toys. It's intentional. It has to look and feel real enough to accomplish its task.
Minato shakes his head. ]
It's not a toy.
[ Man. How's he supposed to explain this one... ]
...it's easier if I could just show you.
[ It's too bad he has no idea where the hell it went. On the other hand, if Sha-Ming's asking him what he's doing with a gun, he has a pretty good idea of where it went. After all, he doesn't make a habit of walking around with it out in the open. ]
[ sha-ming looks to him -- blinking for a long while, as if coming to a decision. and then wordlessly, he slinks out of the room, and then back in, before extending the palm of his hand.
in its center is a gun-- shining in the low light, steel heavy in his hand. ]
...Whatever. It's not like it's my business. Do what you want.
[ Minato watches as Sha-Ming returns, gaze lowering to look at the pistol in his hand. He doesn't look surprised by this revelation at all and only reaches out to take the Evoker back.
He turns it over in his hands, thumb running over the letters carved up on its surface. It's an item he owes his life to, but it's also one that had doomed him. ]
Thanks, Sha-Ming.
[ Minato lifts the Evoker's barrel to his temple, finger laying on its trigger. He's long forgotten that the gesture might come across as alarming to those unfamiliar with how the device works. Instead, he breathes that single word he's uttered time and time again, and with it, finally sets the Evoker off.
The room fills with a blinding blue light, and instead of a gunshot, there's the sound of shattering glass. And when the light finally fades, it's revealed that Minato is still very alive.
The important thing is the little blue and white creature standing before him. It looks up at Sha-Ming with a wide smile on his face.
"Hee ho!"
The room's temperature feels like it's dropped as the air begins to turn icy.
In any event, surely this answers all of Sha-Ming's questions. ]
[ sha-ming watches, stomach turning, before the barrel is positioned against minato's head: the very sight he had expected playing out before his eyes. his heart sinks. sweat beads down his skin, nausea clawing up his throat -- he fucked up, he fucked up, he fucked up. ]
Minato, don't!
[ the room bursts into light; it cascades over him in searingly hot blues, and he searches for any traces of minato's figure in a fit of desperation, before...
some fucking little guy materializes before him?
minato is right there, as characteristically silent as ever.
sha-ming's eyes flit back in between the two of them. ]
I, uh--
[ relief washes over him, but somehow, the juxtaposition between that and the dread he had just felt intermingle in... the worst ways possible. is this a ptsd response? yeah, it's a ptsd response. ]
I think I need to throw up...
[ a hand clasps over his mouth. he's out of the room before he can speak again. he slinks back in after a few minutes, paler than usual, face still drenched in sweat.
[ By the time Sha-Ming returns, Minato's Evoker is back in its holster. He's learned he'll have to keep a closer eye on it going forward.
He has the gall to look puzzled by Sha-Ming's reaction, brows raised and eyes slightly widened, before it all finally dawns upon him. He glances down at the Evoker at his waist. ]
...sorry. I meant it when I said it wasn't real though.
[ Sure, pointing something extremely pistol-shaped and pulling the trigger against one's head could look alarming, but Minato figured the vague mention of it not being a real gun should have been sufficient.
The Persona hops over to Sha-Ming. The wide smile remains on its face. It cants its head a bit to the side.
Minato steps forward to scoop the creature into his arms, giving it a height boost so that Sha-Ming can get a better look at it too. ]
What you had was my Evoker. It's how I summon my Personas.
[ Yeah. Minato gets it now. It was definitely a mea culpa on his part for not warning Sha-Ming. But on the other hand, it's difficult to remember that he might need to give a heads up about the way his Evoker worked when he's so used to it.
...maybe a little too used to it, but that's neither here nor there.
Minato glances down at Jack Frost, who continues to stare and grin. "Purse Owner" sounds close enough to Persona, so he won't correct Sha-Ming there. ]
I don't... really understand, but they're a version of the masks we wear. That's how it was explained to me, I think. Like manifestations of the soul.
[ He offers Sha-Ming a small shrug. ]
I have more, other than Jack Frost.
[ "Hee ho!" goes the bleached gremlin as it waggles an index finger like a Clefairy. It freezes the moisture in the air, making it snow a bit in Minato's room just because he can. ]
[ One of the only means for defeating the Shadows from Minato's home world.
A moment passes. Minato's aware Personas could manifest in other ways. Yu's and Akira's Persona awakenings had been radically different from his own, but since Sha-Ming's asking him in particular, ]
Back home, only people who accepted their own deaths and were unafraid of confronting it could summon them.
[ Because it is. In truth, even to this day Minato's not entirely sure he knows what Shadows really were. What Nyx really was. ]
But... if we didn't, my home world wouldn't survive.
[ Sha-Ming's second question is equally simple. Minato meets Sha-Ming's gaze, a steady certainty in his eyes. He's unafraid of the subject matter that's unearthed itself within their conversation. ]
It happens to all of us.
[ It's already happened to me. ]
...you can't run from it. So there's no point in being afraid.
[ his jaw tenses, teeth gnashing. it’s the first time minato’ll see it — a flare of earnest anger in his eyes. ]
What the hell do you mean there’s no point in being afraid…!?
[ the floodgates open, a dam spilling over. memories of minato, always so reluctant to live, intermingle with creatures in the warm sunlight, so desperate to live. ]
Everything in this galaxy wants to live! Of course you should be scared — you’re supposed to have dreams, desires, things you wanna do…! Nobody’s born for a reason or purpose… they just are, and that’s enough reason to wanna live your life!
So yeah, I’m fucking scared, and you sure as hell should be too!
[ The ardent anger punches through, shattering a hole in what Minato always considered an inevitability. He blinks, momentarily stunned and wholly unprepared for Sha-Ming's pushback.
Was death truly such a terrifying prospect, that Sha-Ming would readily confess to being afraid? ]
It's --
[ It's the only thing that's guaranteed for each individual. Was that not comforting in its own way? He can't get the words out though, not in the face of Sha-Ming's earnest rebuttal. ]
...it will happen to you someday.
[ The word "you," perhaps, conspicuously replacing the word "us". ]
It's... okay. That's what makes everything you do before it happens meaningful, doesn't it?
[ Dreams, desires, things you wanted to do. The people you meet along the way. The value of them all, amplified greatly by the fact that mortality hangs like a shroud over it, preparing to someday descend. ]
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no subject
then he says that and-- sha-ming blinks. ]
The hell you mean it's not real? Is it a toy or what?
[ it felt real as hell to him. he knows what guns look like -- and how they kill too. how could it not be? ]
no subject
Minato shakes his head. ]
It's not a toy.
[ Man. How's he supposed to explain this one... ]
...it's easier if I could just show you.
[ It's too bad he has no idea where the hell it went. On the other hand, if Sha-Ming's asking him what he's doing with a gun, he has a pretty good idea of where it went. After all, he doesn't make a habit of walking around with it out in the open. ]
no subject
in its center is a gun-- shining in the low light, steel heavy in his hand. ]
...Whatever. It's not like it's my business. Do what you want.
cw: guns
He turns it over in his hands, thumb running over the letters carved up on its surface. It's an item he owes his life to, but it's also one that had doomed him. ]
Thanks, Sha-Ming.
[ Minato lifts the Evoker's barrel to his temple, finger laying on its trigger. He's long forgotten that the gesture might come across as alarming to those unfamiliar with how the device works. Instead, he breathes that single word he's uttered time and time again, and with it, finally sets the Evoker off.
The room fills with a blinding blue light, and instead of a gunshot, there's the sound of shattering glass. And when the light finally fades, it's revealed that Minato is still very alive.
The important thing is the little blue and white creature standing before him. It looks up at Sha-Ming with a wide smile on his face.
"Hee ho!"
The room's temperature feels like it's dropped as the air begins to turn icy.
In any event, surely this answers all of Sha-Ming's questions. ]
CW EMETOPHOBIA...WHOOPS...
Minato, don't!
[ the room bursts into light; it cascades over him in searingly hot blues, and he searches for any traces of minato's figure in a fit of desperation, before...
some fucking little guy materializes before him?
minato is right there, as characteristically silent as ever.
sha-ming's eyes flit back in between the two of them. ]
I, uh--
[ relief washes over him, but somehow, the juxtaposition between that and the dread he had just felt intermingle in... the worst ways possible. is this a ptsd response? yeah, it's a ptsd response. ]
I think I need to throw up...
[ a hand clasps over his mouth. he's out of the room before he can speak again. he slinks back in after a few minutes, paler than usual, face still drenched in sweat.
the little guy is still there. ok, cool. ]
Okay, so like...
What the fuck?
no subject
He has the gall to look puzzled by Sha-Ming's reaction, brows raised and eyes slightly widened, before it all finally dawns upon him. He glances down at the Evoker at his waist. ]
...sorry. I meant it when I said it wasn't real though.
[ Sure, pointing something extremely pistol-shaped and pulling the trigger against one's head could look alarming, but Minato figured the vague mention of it not being a real gun should have been sufficient.
The Persona hops over to Sha-Ming. The wide smile remains on its face. It cants its head a bit to the side.
Minato steps forward to scoop the creature into his arms, giving it a height boost so that Sha-Ming can get a better look at it too. ]
What you had was my Evoker. It's how I summon my Personas.
[ He does not elaborate. ]
no subject
[ he rubs at his face. jesus fucking christ, kid.
and then minato is here, waddling over, with this-- fucking bleached gremlin in his arms. sha-ming blinks once. and then twice.
there's only one thing to ask: ]
What the fuck is a Purse Owner?
no subject
...maybe a little too used to it, but that's neither here nor there.
Minato glances down at Jack Frost, who continues to stare and grin. "Purse Owner" sounds close enough to Persona, so he won't correct Sha-Ming there. ]
I don't... really understand, but they're a version of the masks we wear. That's how it was explained to me, I think. Like manifestations of the soul.
[ He offers Sha-Ming a small shrug. ]
I have more, other than Jack Frost.
[ "Hee ho!" goes the bleached gremlin as it waggles an index finger like a Clefairy. It freezes the moisture in the air, making it snow a bit in Minato's room just because he can. ]
no subject
Are they... animals?
[ strange question, but-- ]
Like-- do they have...thoughts and needs of their own, or...?
[ or are they just... a figment of the mind altogether? ]
no subject
They don't have needs of their own, but... sometimes they act on their own.
[ Like a Persona user losing control of their Persona, or where a Persona turns on its own summoner.
He shrugs. ]
But that's when a Persona user loses control.
[ Not him, basically. ]
...I have some that look like animals though.
no subject
Shit. What the hell…?
[ more importantly: ]
Control, huh. …Whaddya even use ‘em for? Are they like… companions? Or an army or what?
no subject
[ One of the only means for defeating the Shadows from Minato's home world.
A moment passes. Minato's aware Personas could manifest in other ways. Yu's and Akira's Persona awakenings had been radically different from his own, but since Sha-Ming's asking him in particular, ]
Back home, only people who accepted their own deaths and were unafraid of confronting it could summon them.
no subject
What are you fighting?
[ and more importantly: ]
And... why would you accept your own death, just like that...?
no subject
It's a simple question, and yet -- ]
...it's hard to explain.
[ Because it is. In truth, even to this day Minato's not entirely sure he knows what Shadows really were. What Nyx really was. ]
But... if we didn't, my home world wouldn't survive.
[ Sha-Ming's second question is equally simple. Minato meets Sha-Ming's gaze, a steady certainty in his eyes. He's unafraid of the subject matter that's unearthed itself within their conversation. ]
It happens to all of us.
[ It's already happened to me. ]
...you can't run from it. So there's no point in being afraid.
no subject
[ his jaw tenses, teeth gnashing. it’s the first time minato’ll see it — a flare of earnest anger in his eyes. ]
What the hell do you mean there’s no point in being afraid…!?
[ the floodgates open, a dam spilling over. memories of minato, always so reluctant to live, intermingle with creatures in the warm sunlight, so desperate to live. ]
Everything in this galaxy wants to live! Of course you should be scared — you’re supposed to have dreams, desires, things you wanna do…! Nobody’s born for a reason or purpose… they just are, and that’s enough reason to wanna live your life!
So yeah, I’m fucking scared, and you sure as hell should be too!
no subject
Was death truly such a terrifying prospect, that Sha-Ming would readily confess to being afraid? ]
It's --
[ It's the only thing that's guaranteed for each individual. Was that not comforting in its own way? He can't get the words out though, not in the face of Sha-Ming's earnest rebuttal. ]
...it will happen to you someday.
[ The word "you," perhaps, conspicuously replacing the word "us". ]
It's... okay. That's what makes everything you do before it happens meaningful, doesn't it?
[ Dreams, desires, things you wanted to do. The people you meet along the way. The value of them all, amplified greatly by the fact that mortality hangs like a shroud over it, preparing to someday descend. ]