expiationnet | anon text ➡ not a shitpost this time

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anon text ➡ not a shitpost this time

A question for the Chosen: why have you not banded together already? Some arrivals go back to almost a year, and yet you're still here. You're not without skill. There are summoners, magic users, and bomb makers in this city. Directed efforts could surely overpower our captors if there was direction.

Possibly there are those who want to stay here. Those who are dead in the world that they come from. But what of the ones who want to go home? What do they say? Are they just content to live their lives here while they have unfinished business at home?

It's possible that some of the lack of action is complacency. But others... may be a lack of leadership. Instead of waiting around for someone to save you, have you considered that you might be able to take charge of your situation? What holds you back? The Council? Jerry? That is one man, and an entity that we haven't seen thus far.

For now, it's food for thought. But I'd be interested to know who would actually be interested in leaving this place, instead of playing house in a world that dictates their actions. For those who may want to stay... what would life be like without the "Council" watching your every move?

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[Rolo is waiting nearby while Lelouch types his whole post up, ready to jump in to help swap people towards his ideas. But actually reading the post has him hesitant. He sits there quietly for a bit while his brother is replying to responses and eventually, he sets his tablet down entirely to fiddle with the charm on his phone, his appetite for the whole endeavor now lost.]

...Do you really want to go back that badly?

[He wants to be as helpful to his brother as possible, like maybe if he does enough then Lelouch will truly love him like Nunnally. But what's he supposed to do if Lelouch getting what he wants here means losing him entirely?]

Edited 2024-02-06 06:29 (UTC)

[there's a long pause as he weighs his words. he knows what Rolo wants to hear, and he knows exactly what he wants to say. but he probably should figure out a way to toe the middle for the sake of argument, in this case.]

I have unfinished business with the world. [because that's not dramatic at all.] We don't know what sort of parallel universe this is -- is my absence noticed? Will this affect our timeline? Until I know those answers, it's a priority for me.

[Even if Lelouch had said what he wanted to hear, Rolo doesn't know if he'd believe it. But it does still sting that Lelouch doesn't even attempt the lie, somehow. He misses the act. He's grateful to have this scrap of something, but he can't help but miss the certainty and security of feeling like he was a priority.]

I can't go back, though.

[He doesn't know why he's avoiding saying the obvious. Maybe he just doesn't want automatic reassurances. He misses the act, but it doesn't feel quite the same anymore, no matter how much he tells himself that he's alright with Lelouch just using him.]

[there's a long pause. his insides twist at the idea with some sort of conflicting emotions that always war with him...

and he taps his fingers on the table next to him. he considers what Nunnally had told him (because he very clearly remembers seeing her here, even if he hasn't told Rolo), and sighs.]

Would you, even if you could?

[. . . well.]

You shouldn't, if the answer is yes.

[His gaze had been fixed on the his hands and the locket he was toying with, but that advice has it leaping back up to Lelouch, eyebrows knitting together.]

Why? I... I-if you were going back, then of course I would...

[because I die is what he wants to scream at Rolo... but he won't. how would he even explain that he saw his sister anyway, just to lose her again? he hadn't seen her since... but it had been so tangibly her that there's no way that her words were a lie.

especially since they painted a future that he had already decided for himself.]

There's nothing for you there. A place like this... if we could make it more malleable, would be a better place for you.

[he's looking past Rolo now, not really meeting his eyes as he continues to drum his fingers gently on the table.

watch out Lelouch, it sounded like you almost cared about his wellbeing there.]

[The concern should be comforting, but Rolo just looks stricken at the thought.]

Not if you're gone! I mean, you... You're all I have.

[It probably sounds a bit pathetic, especially knowing that the feeling isn't mutual. Last time Rolo had suggested they were fine with just the two of them, Lelouch had shortly afterward flew into a rage at him for replacing Nunnally. Rolo knows he can't really sincerely think of it as them against the world anymore. Lelouch has other people. It's just him that has no one else.]

[at the small outburst, Lelouch finally actually looks at Rolo. he's not entirely sure he understands him completely, even now... and it's moments like these that he feels a stir of pity.]

You won't have me even if you were to follow me home. But I have to go and finish my mission.

...What do you mean?

[His mind goes in awful directions at that, and he doesn't like any of the possibilities he can imagine.]

It's as I said. We won't be able to be together.

[intentionally being vague af-]

Why not?

[For once, Rolo isn't just accepting the bare minimum from Lelouch. His hands clench tight around his cell phone, clutching it to his chest like he could keep Lelouch with him just as easily.]

[... Lelouch levels a blank gaze with Rolo again, his fingers finally stilling from their dumb drumming. he's quiet for a long moment, as if he thinks Rolo would be able to answer his own question with the silence.]

Because my death will be the end of all the bloodshed at home.

[there. he said it. and now he knows, he knows Rolo is going to lose his shit.]

[It takes Rolo a moment to process that, and then the reaction is...maybe less explosive than Lelouch was anticipating. No less emotional, certainly – it all plays out clear on his face, the confusion and realization and horror and despair. His knuckles are white in their grip on his phone.

But the finale to his grappling with all of that isn't anger or shouting or anything. His mouth just opens and closes uselessly a few times before his lips press into a tight line. A moment more, and then he suddenly gets up and crosses the room to throw his arms around Lelouch and press his face into his brother's shoulder. His voice is small and half-muffled.]

Please stay. I don't want you to...

[He doesn't even want to say it. Hadn't he literally died to prevent just that ending?]

[there's a moment of surprise when Rolo throws his arms around Lelouch. his hands instantly fly up to grab the boy's shoulders, as if to push him away--

but then he remembers it. he remembers Rolo's pale face, so insistent on getting him away. of him dying right in front of him after he made the ultimate sacrifice. for Lelouch.

his hands relax on Rolo's shoulders to something more gentle, but not quite a reciprocating hug. maybe it's part of his act, that he's letting Rolo embrace him when he doesn't let most people get that close, physically. or maybe... there's a small part of him that genuinely wonders if he is getting fond of Rolo, which twists a knife in his gut in a sickening sort of way. he shouldn't be feeling any sort of way about this boy other than just using him.

and yet. there are still very real memories and feelings involved in the year where his mind had been rearranged to be Rolo's big brother instead of Nunnally's.]

It'll be necessary, in the end. I won't let the deaths of the people I care about be a waste.

[for one reason or another that Lelouch hasn't quite discerned yet, Rolo is part of that group.]

[Hugs hadn't really been a thing since Lelouch regained his memory. And Lelouch's reluctance to reciprocate is obvious enough now that he knows to look for it, though maybe the fact that it's admitted at all should be comforting.

That's all a distant thought, though, ones he doesn't bother following up on in the moment. He's distracted, distress gripping his heart tight like he'd just been overusing his Geass again, and all he can do is grip at the back of Lelouch's shirt.]

I didn't die for your plan! It was so you'd survive–

[Rolo can't speak for anyone but himself, but it's hard to think of anyone else doing so either. People love Lelouch. He's not sure which people Lelouch is thinking of – though he could make some educated guesses based on files he's read in the past – but he can't imagine anyone who actually knew him wanted Lelouch to die for this shit.]

I will survive until it's necessary for me to die.

[the ones who kill should be ready to be killed, right?

he sighs quietly, and then awkwardly reaches to Rolo's back to give him a few back pats.]

Do you really think a world with me in it will be a more gentle one?

[ a+ big brother ]

To me, it is. All I did before was kill people. You don't think you changed anything for the better...?

[It comes out muffled, halfway lost in Lelouch's shirt. But that he's in this position at all is proof of his point, right? He can cling to someone he was supposed to cut down without a second thought. If that isn't "gentler", than what is?]

I did. I will. But at the end of it all, all anyone will see is the blood I'm covered in.

[he's not saying it as if it's a sad thing, really. more or less just a statement of fact.]

There won't be any rest until I'm gone.

[Rolo takes a slow breath to steady himself before stepping back a bit to look up at Lelouch properly. There are no tears, at least – he doesn't think he's cried since he was very little, if even then – but the upset clearly still remains.]

If you're covered in blood, then what am I?

[It's not like he angsts about it or anything but come on, dude.]

And if you being gone is best, then why can't you just stay here? Why shouldn't you get to be happy too?

We're both covered in it. You're not an exception.

[it's not said with any sort of malice... just Lelouch stating a fact.]

If my absence is noted there, then I won't be able to finish what I've started. But we don't have to worry about it right now, because we have a long road ahead of us before then.

[they don't really know anything about this place, still.]

[Rolo's frustrated frown only deepens. He wants to keep arguing it, and there's plenty he could say. But is there even any point? Lelouch seems stubbornly, stupidly set on this, and neither logic nor emotional appeals made a dent in that conviction. What else can he do to prevent his brother from throwing his life away so pointlessly?

(He could subtly sabotage Lelouch's efforts in getting back. That's a tempting option.)

His jaw tightens as he gives Lelouch a long look, until he finally turns away without responding, returning to sit on the bed and picking his tablet back up. Somehow, it doesn't feel like backing down. There's a weight in that silence that says this isn't settled.]

[even though he can't really say he knows Rolo like the back of his hand, he feels like he knows how to read the silence here. and it's not like he would think Rolo would be beyond sabotaging him, either.

it was just something he'd have to keep monitoring.

as for making a comment about what Rolo was doing or something of that nature... he doesn't. he just goes back to antagonizing adults and teenagers over the internet.]

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anon text ➡ not a shitpost this time

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