018. 💥 TXT; UN: QUEENOFZAUN

[opheliac]

so whose breathing? show of hands? win a prize if u show 2.

doesnt have to be ur own. ur hand and any hand u find in the gutter somewhere gets a pass.

and if u kicked the bucket? then sorry pal, but im booked out. ure gonna have to find another head to crash in.

Comments

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[opheliac]

only if the hands are impressive.

[humandispel]

Then I better get them well manicured first!

[opheliac]

making them pretty gives u more points, buster. ure on the right track.

[humandispel]

Perfect.

What kind of prizes do you have in mind, anyway?

[opheliac]

whatever i have lying around. the big wigs are slacking at their job and not resetting our so called "home sweet home".

but hey! im liking the look. theres beauty in half blown up buildings, u know.

[humandispel]

Eh? But where would you be able to store all these pretty hands?

[opheliac]

jars, in a bucket, hang them like decorations.

[humandispel]

Definitely don't put them in buckets! They would have to fight for space and you wouldn't even be able to see how pretty they are!

[opheliac]

so whats ur name again? dazzy or something?

[sudden change of subject.]

[humandispel]

It's Dazai. I don't mind you calling me Dazzy, though!

[opheliac]

right. so whats ur play here? uve been here for as long as i have. maybe longer.

ure buddy-buddy with my big sis, probably the best of buds for all i know. but us? we've never spoken. seen each other? definitely. but we're not PALS.

and now out of the blue, ure chatting with me? wanting to have MEANINGFUL conversations? whats with that, huh? what is that u really want from me? and it better be good. because my bullets hate lame excuses.

cw: suicide ideation

[humandispel]

If you're going to fire at me, can you make sure you aim somewhere that isn't painful? Oh, and no headshots either! I don't like bullet marks on my beautiful face!

But since I'm feeling nice today, I'll give you a serious answer: I just want to talk to you because you're interesting. No ulterior motives or anything else of the sort! We might have never spoken before, but there's always the chance for a first time, right?

[opheliac]

sorry, my guns dont really take requests. its not in their genes.

NOW u find me interesting? nice try, blockhead. i know a whacked up answer when i see one. but if u want me to play this dumb game of urs, make it more fun because i get bored quick. and u wont like me when im bored.

[humandispel]

People can change, you know. That goes for me and you.

But if it's a game you want, I can probably whip up something nice for you! Something more fun than dangling arms at your base.

[opheliac]

i find that hard to believe, but hey. knock urself out. amaze me.

[humandispel]

How about this - I tell three things about me. Two of them are real, and one of them is fake. Try to guess which ones are real, and which one is the lie.

[opheliac]

lets raise the stakes a little. loser has to be the other's servant for a whole month. 😈

[humandispel]

Hopefully you don't regret any of this! I'm game.

[opheliac]

ready when u are, dimwit.

[humandispel]

1. I once got stuck in a canister.
2. I almost drowned in a river before.
3. I have gotten stabbed by a serrated knife.

Which one is the lie?

[opheliac]

1 is the lie.

[humandispel]

Bzzzzt! It's actually number 3!

[opheliac]

son of a bitch.

[humandispel]

Hehehehe. (⌒▽⌒)

Now I get a servant for a month! What do make you do, I wonder...

You're good with bombs, right?

[opheliac]

no, i think bombs are a delicacy, and i pour it with gunpowder with my bacon, eggs, and juice every morning.

no shit, im good with them, flabby.