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arcane: powder / jinx

video; un: brickfuckingmaster

So was anyone gonna tell me about the motherfucking dinosaur-shaped food here? Seriously!

[ Ellie sits criss-cross in front of the camera on the floor of her room, a plate of said chicken nuggets in her lap. There's a book about dinosaurs next to her, and her gun sitting on top of it.

As a child of the post-apocalypse, this is the greatest thing she's ever stumbled on. The world must know. ]

This is a...[ she holds up a t-rex. ] Tyrannosaurus rex. And this is a triceratops. [ she holds the next one up before biting its head off. ] Amazing.

Anyway, I'm bored as fuck. So say something and I will give you a fact about the most badass prehistoric dina-mos to ever exist or something.

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[ Hi Ellie, here's a very curious fire demon from a terrible angle, likely a tablet left on a flat surface as he perches god knows where, head tipped to one side like a curious child.

He has yet to see dino nuggets, or any food shaped in fun ways as of yet other than desserts shaped like little waffle style fish, so color him very curious. ]

There's food shaped like that? Do they taste good?

They're fucking awesome! They're hunks of chicken. Aaaand...

[ dinosaur fact time! ]

Some of the biggest dinosaurs, like the Brachiosaurus and Apatosaurus, were herbivores! They ate plants instead of other creatures.

Hell yeah, dino nugs. You ever seen the little pill sponge dino things you throw in water? It's not food, but...

[Those also rule. Anyway.]

I'll take a dino-fact.

Never heard of it. Know where I can find one?

[ it's time for 1-800 Dino Facts! ]

The longest dinosaur was the Argentinosaurus. It was 40 meters long! Or 131 feet.

are they MADE from dinosaurs??

nope, just shaped. they're chicken.

hmmmmm.

[ he does not realize that this is functionally the same thing. his disappointment is palpable. ]

i suppose if chicken is a more readily available resource than dinosaur, it makes sense...

i wonder how similar our stars' dinosaurs are. would you tell me a dino fact?

Dinosaurs went extinct millions of years ago, it'd be hard to get nuggets of them.

Sure! The stegosaurus had a brain the size of a walnut. Sounds like a dinosaur I know back home.

Cool! If you want to add to the realism, you can build a working volcano out of mashed potatoes, a bottle, and some tubing.

[ this is definitely a normal way for kids to eat?? ]

Sure, hit me with a fun fact. I actually don't know much about dinosaurs, I never really studied them.

Are the mashed potatoes edible after?

Most dinosaurs are born from eggs, and it only takes seven to eight years for a dinosaur to reach adulthood.

Of course, if you don't mind a little food coloring. Or the taste of baking soda. Or changing your shirt afterwards.

Most? Are there dinosaurs that aren't born from eggs?

Dollar store, probably? Or like, any supermarket with a "toy aisle" that has the weirdest plastic junk known to man.

[And also maybe some plastic dinos, as a bonus.]

That's like... some portion of a football field. [lmao. as if he'd know.] What about the shortest?

Yeah! There's the ....Lemme double check.

[ she grabs the book from beside her, discarding the gun for now. checking, checking-- ]

Oooh, apparently the brontosaurus had live births up to 3 babies at a time. Must've been a busy mom.

That is the microraptor. It weighed two pounds and was only 30 inches long! Name's a bit on the nose.

Oh wow, I didn't think they'd have those here.

[ color her surprised! dino nuggies are universal. ]

Hit me with a good fact!

They don't exist anymore where I'm from, if they did.

Dinosaurs fall into two categories: Ones with hips like birds, and ones with hips like lizards.

Not even a whole puppy. That's wild. You got a favorite one yet?

I'm supposed to choose? They're all awesome! Maybeeee....the t-rex? They're pretty fucking scary.

Hey, real quick... Is that a gun?

[ Asking the important questions here. ]

Yeah, it's a pistol. Cool, right?

[ she holds it up for him to see, a 9mm with gold moths on it ]

Edited 2025-02-27 04:09 (UTC)

No. You're, like, a kid! Who even gave you that?!

[ she rolls her eyes with all the force a fourteen year old girl can muster. ]

It's mine, dude. It came with me.

Okay, but the question's still relevant.

My friend gave it to me 'cause people and Infected have a nice habit of trying to shoot or bite or tear us to shreds. I didn't - steal it from someone or some shit.

[ which is nowhere near what this dude had actually said, but-- she's used to the assumptions that she's trouble or going to steal. which, she was, normally, but that's not the point. ]

Brontosaurus...that's the tall one with the long neck, right? Ouch. Guess you could say she must have been dinosore afterwards.

[ please laugh at his stupid joke...or don't indulge him, he doesn't deserve it tbh ]

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