text; un: shades

[laserguy]

[Scott's been feeling all kinds of ways since returning to Aldrip. A little off his feet? Not upset exactly, not when he remembers everyone important to him, but it's still a lot. Kind of weird that he's actually older here than back home, and that's not mentioning suddenly getting almost two years of memories shoved inside his head that he completely forgot about until now. But he's trying. A part of him wants to just lie on the bed with Kotone and just take more time to himself, but he figures that he should say something to his friends.

Maybe focusing on them will help. Better than thinking about Alex or how Apocalypse sort of ruined everything back home.

He breathes in, fiddling with his tablet. Something in him wants to change his username from 'shades' to 'cyclops,' but maybe not right now.]

hey, i'm back now. sorry if i worried anyone. a lot happened, like, back home. yeah i went home and came back. i'm okay though.

[None of that sounded super awkward, right.]

if you wanna meet up, i'll be at the diner. you're paying though.

[ooc: Scott's back from his canon update and just Dealing with Stuff. Totally open to threading Scott meeting others in person! Also, he'll be back in regular clothes for the time being, but he will be wearing his visor for now.]

Comments

text; un: shades

[laserguy]

[Ange.

He swallows hard seeing her response. It's short and to the point and that's pretty much his friend, but he wonders if she's okay. She's someone familiar with loss, and...]

sorry for disappearing on you like that. i'm glad that you're still here. so i can see you again.

[entreats]

The same thing happened to Peter a few months ago. Did you know?

Then he was gone entirely soon after. He hasn't returned yet.

[ Which means that the same thing has happened to him as whatever is happening to all the people who disappear. The same thing that could be happening to Scott now. There has to be a reason why he was gone and then now returned after he's already been here for so long, after all. ]

[laserguy]

i know.

[And he misses Peter, a lot. His American friend-- the only thing he can take comfort in is knowing that Peter is actually alive back home. He made it, even though he's facing a lot of hard shit too.

But he can't focus on Peter right now, not when he's talking to Ange and it's clear she's struggling, thinking that he might disappear again. Scott feels something in his chest twist, wanting to apologize at his tablet even if she can't hear him like this.]

but vi and caitlyn also disappeared for a while and they're still here. i don't want to leave you. or the others.

[entreats]

I know you don't want to.

[ At least that much is true. Ange does have faith in Scott. He isn't the problem here. The actual problem is-- ]

None of us have a choice here though. It's all up to the whims of this place. It could happen. You wouldn't be able to stop it.

[laserguy]

[He knows she's right, but it's still hard. And it sucks. It's been a constant thing, ever since he got here almost two years ago. Seeing friends come and go.

It would be easier if he just stopped caring altogether, but he can't think that way. He can't and he doesn't want to.]

maybe. but i still want to see everyone. and you. that won't change.

[entreats]

[ . . . . .

For a little while there's no more messages. It's almost enough to make one assume Ange isn't going to send a message at all anymore.

But then one does arrive - even if it may not necessarily directly address any part of what Scott wrote. ]

How are you feeling?

[laserguy]

[He thinks about giving a half-assed answer, but not now. Not when everything is fresh. Besides, he can't help but think that if he's a little more honest, Ange will be too. It's just something that works on Kotone. Sometimes.]

overwhelmed.

almost like i should be feeling one way but i'm actually feeling four different ways about it.

[entreats]

And what are those four different ways then?

[ Sorry, Scott. Apparently there's still nothing really personal coming from Ange's side, but.. hey, at least she is communicating still. And maybe interested enough to ask this in the first place, to read the answer. ]

private;

[laserguy]

[His answer takes a little longer, like he's not sure how to put things into text. He's not having second thoughts being honest, right? ...No, Ange has been there for him, a lot. And. He doesn't want to push her away. Her friendship matters so much to him.]

i haven't mentioned it to you yet, huh?

i'm a x-man now. officially. just like kurt and rogue and the others. i should be proud? i am. but guess. worried. upset in a way.

i guess that's only like two different ways huh.

[Somehow, it's still the easiest thing to talk about.]

private;

[entreats]

[ It's not really what she expected. Sure, that whole.. X-men concept is still a little weird to her, especially with the way almost everyone seems to speak of it in a different way, but she didn't expect Scott to feel so complicated about it.

Then again, she missed a whole part of his life, given that he apparently went home and came back. Who knows what could have happened in that time? Everything could have changed. ]

Why are you worried or upset about it?

I mean, doesn't that just mean you're meant to be a superhero or whatever? But it's not like you haven't been fighting to try to help people here either. That's practically the same thing.

[laserguy]

i was kind of hoping that the x-men would never need to form back home. the other mutants kept telling me how peaceful things sounded in my world in comparison to theirs, like something actually went right for once.

then all that sort of changed. you know. one evil mutant decided to ruin things for everyone and now my friends and i are the new x-men. expected to help rebuild that trust.

[Be a force for good. Something like that. While protecting their own kind.]

[entreats]

[ It's hard to even know what exactly to say to that.

.. well, other than 'yeah, life sucks like that,' but Ange does at least realize that would not be incredibly helpful right now.

So maybe she should instead ask-- ]

Was the evil mutant that caused trouble in your world the same one as in those other ones?

[laserguy]

kind of? i haven't asked everyone yet, but kurt mentioned that he's in his world and they haven't even defeated him yet.

but our worlds were pretty different from the start. mutants still have to hide in kurt's universe. it's not like that in mine.

[entreats]

I guess it is possible for worlds that are really different in some ways to still share similarities.

[ That's what things were like where she came from, after all.. ]

Even if it sucks for you. It almost sounds like the sheer presence of mutants in any given world is what causes these sorts of problems. Like it's inevitable or something, as much as that doesn't sound great.

[laserguy]

always inevitable.

like we're always a problem one way or another.

[MOODY.]

[entreats]

[ ... ]

You know that you aren't a problem though, right?

[laserguy]

right. tell that to everyone else.

[.........]

sorry, ange. i know.

[entreats]

It's okay. You don't have to apologize. I know it's rough when everyone thinks you're a freak.

[ She's got a whole lot of personal experience with that, after all - and she isn't even a mutant, so she can't even imagine how much worse it is when it's so categorical for Scott. ]

You can vent to me. I can listen. Or read, in this case.

[laserguy]

that's why we've been able to get along. thanks. really.

don't forget that you can do that too. vent. be pissed off.

[entreats]

It doesn't help though, does it?

I don't want to get mad at you. It's not your fault. But there's no way to actually get mad at this place in a way this place will understand or feel. There's no one we can yell at or kick in a way that matters.

[laserguy]

yeah, but it's not your fault either??

if you're willing to deal with my venting, then same here.

[entreats]

[ ... ]

Alright.

I'll try then. I'm not really good at talking about stuff like that. [ Though that's likely not a surprise to Scott. He knows her better than most people in this place. ] But in some ways, we're all we have, right? I have to at least try.

[laserguy]

i know. but i'll keep waiting.

thanks ange.