@peterparker ; video - it's gen z vlog time

[spidermenaces]

(some of us love our vlogging, our youtubeing, tik-toking-- and since here it's a known fact that peter parker happens to be spider-man, well, that means he gets to turn his tablet on while he swings through the winter wonderland that aldrip has come. whoever is watching gets a very nice view of aldrip from the tallest buildings, the snow twinkling and sparkling beneath him as he goes from building to building until he stops at the tallest one.

the camera pans and switches to his face, hair a mess of curls from all the wind that it faced and he smiles. it feels good to smile.)

So, I heard this thing, right -- this guy from the pizza shop told me, I don't know if he's lying or what, but apparently? Apparently, there's this superstition that we aren't supposed to leave our home during the solstice or something? But I'm curious - did someone go out last year? Did something happen? And if we go out... Well, actually, who's going out, first of all?

(the camera switches again, so he can film the skating ring from above-- someone just fell on their ass, and he sucks teeth because that must have hurt.)

Ooooh, ouch. Well, wear a helmet, don't get sick, invite me if you have eggnog! Friendly neighborhood Spider-man, out!

Comments

[westcoasts]

think the point is meant to be I wouldn't prefer them.

that's because he's actually old.

[querulus]

so i'm supposed to call you "clint"?

you do realize funny nicknames are part of my brand, right?

[westcoasts]

in retrospect, I'm very unsettled by the thought of you calling me 'clint'.

"funny".

[querulus]

yeah, "funny." to me. obviously.

[...]

wait hold on how come you straight up told itsy bitsy spidey to call you clint, but for me it's "very unsettling"?

[spidermenaces]

Bruh

[querulus]

something to share with the class?

[spidermenaces]

You know you are not that much taller than me right
That haircut is just to make you look tall isn't it
You can say it
No shame, Q

[querulus]

please as if i have self-image issues

[Except he really, really does.]

everything about me is perfect. that's just a fact.

[spidermenaces]

(it's just a picture of this face.)

[querulus]

what

[spidermenaces]

What

[westcoasts]

because you're... you know.
you.

and because his first two options were 'mr hawkeye' and 'mr barton'.

[querulus]

i'm going to pretend that's not offensive.

so old man is preferable to mr hawkeye. good to know.

btw you're welcome

[westcoasts]

can I just clarify what I'm thanking you for? is it

1. assuming I don't make my own arrows (did you think I went to the tinkerer when I first started out?)
2. calling me fragile
3. implying I need help staying alive
4. all of the above?

( ignoring the fact that he is fragile, actually. )

[querulus]

hey so just as a professional courtesy, i'm going to do you the favor of giving you a minute to decide if you really want the whole "no i in team" bullcrap from me.

because honestly that would be an awful experience for both of us.

[westcoasts]

quentin, condescension doesn't look half as good on you as you seem to think it does.

[querulus]

nonsense, everything looks good on me.

but... point taken i guess.

look. the kid's good. he's an excitable little turd, but he's smart, and i'm rusty at actually building things. sure, fine, maybe you don't need help. i'll give you that. you've defied the odds enough times. but walking away from the potential of better equipment? nah, you're not that dumb. just too dumb to ask.

so yeah, you're welcome.

[westcoasts]

well, maybe you want to try out not being a brat sometime, see how that looks on you. no-one's going to think any less of you if you don't preface a compliment with an insult.

look, the thought's appreciated, quentin, and maybe I would've thanked you after I got done with being called names, but the thing about doing things for other people is that sometimes you DON'T get something in return. sometimes you do it because you think it's the thing you should be doing, and those two little words don't ever make an appearance.

if the kid's anything like the spider-man I know back home, I KNOW he's good. I've been in a room with him and stark enough times to piece together that yeah, my IQ is at least 50 points less than his.

my reservations have nothing to do with his competency or even yours.

[querulus]

[...

tmw you think you're making ha-ha "mean" jokes but it turns out you're actually just mean.

Fuck.

Okay, Quentin is making a hasty retreat from this conversation so he can go wallow in self-pity/loathing for a while.]