video; un:mmurdock

[devilsavocado]

[ This video starts with neither of the men remotely in frame. They're both wearing dark sunglasses -- dark enough that you can't see their eyes. And they have kind of like... well, maybe not the same mannerisms, but similar enough. One tells only truths has dark brown hair, while the other tells only lies is a red head. They do not look alike. The dark haired one begins to talk: ]

Hey, everyone. So it looks like we have an office here in the city now. [ He shrugs, like that's... totally normal? ] Matt and I will be opening a new firm here, called Murdock & Murdock, in the next couple of days, for anyone who needs any kind of legal services. We'll offer things like reviewing contracts, legal counseling, conflict resolution... basically we're pretty small, but between the two of us we should have just about any practice covered.

[ He doesn't gesture much as he speaks, in fact he's pretty still. This isn't trial, after all. It's a stark comparison to the redhead. ]

Also the building is crazy weird. Our office is the only thing in it? Everything else is locked but there's [ Here, he drops his voice like he's delivering the climax of a horror story at a campfire, ] no one there. [ There's a beat, and then he laughs it off. ] Pretty cool, right? Kinda gives murder vibes, but I think that's a draw to the kids these days.

Cut it out. [ The dark-haired Matt elbows the other one lightly. ] Anyway, if you have any questions about legal counseling or need to hear our credentials or anything, feel free to let us know. Office hours are going to be a little on-and-off since it's just the two of us, but you can message either of us if you need to come by the office. We're "murdock" and "mmurdock" on the network, so you'll get one of us even if you mess up the spelling.

[ ugh fiiiiine dad. The red-haired Matt manages to roll his eyes even behind those dark shades. ]

Also, I'm just saying, that when someone is accused of a crime, it's generally a good idea to speak to a lawyer. But that's just me. Here's your first piece of free advice: if the cops (or Jerry, this is really "cops" in the metaphorical sense) ask you a question you should just shut up before you further incriminate yourself without an advocate.

Right, there's that too. [ He pauses... What else? Oh, yeah. ] This is Matt, by the way. He's also Matt. It's confusing. Don't worry about it.

((ooc: Replies will come from both Matts!! But yes, come get your legal representation, Aldrip))

Comments

[notthekingpin]

There's all kinds of ways to make yourself a nuisance under the law, if you really want to! Just wait until you make one of your enemies sit through an eight hour deposition.

[fieldtrip]

[ A nuisance is exactly the right word -- she doesn't really want to mess things up for someone through legal means (she can do that with her own two hands, thanks) but sometimes it's just more expedient, and more satisfying, to use official channels. ]

You sound like you have some great stories.

[notthekingpin]

Oh, I do. Sometimes the pettiest victories are the most fun. There's a nice little grey area between zealous advocacy and abuse of process.

[fieldtrip]

You know that means I want to hear a story, right? The more petty the better.

[notthekingpin]

Okay, so the rules let you take a deposition of a company's employee--since you obviously can't just ask a company itself. You have to share your topics in advance and then everyone argues about them, and every argument wastes everyone's time and money with all the back and forth. Blah, blah blah.

[ law stuff, boring. rules, boring. whatever, anyway ]

So we argue about this for weeks, but my guy they chose to depose didn't actually know anything about the topics. So we get in for this 8 hour circus, and they're asking him all kinds of things he's never heard of before. Every answer is just "I don't know," and opposing counsel was so very mad because we'd wasted quote "so much time" endquote trying to figure out if the topics were relevant--it's not my fault he never asked whether the employee had knowledge.

[fieldtrip]

[ There's a short delay as she makes sure he's done talking before Toph snickers. ]

Serves him right. Isn't it your whole job to be a pain in the ass? That's why I never go through official channels. Everyone you talk to is paid to be as annoying and unhelpful as possible.