video; un:mmurdock

[devilsavocado]

[ This video starts with neither of the men remotely in frame. They're both wearing dark sunglasses -- dark enough that you can't see their eyes. And they have kind of like... well, maybe not the same mannerisms, but similar enough. One tells only truths has dark brown hair, while the other tells only lies is a red head. They do not look alike. The dark haired one begins to talk: ]

Hey, everyone. So it looks like we have an office here in the city now. [ He shrugs, like that's... totally normal? ] Matt and I will be opening a new firm here, called Murdock & Murdock, in the next couple of days, for anyone who needs any kind of legal services. We'll offer things like reviewing contracts, legal counseling, conflict resolution... basically we're pretty small, but between the two of us we should have just about any practice covered.

[ He doesn't gesture much as he speaks, in fact he's pretty still. This isn't trial, after all. It's a stark comparison to the redhead. ]

Also the building is crazy weird. Our office is the only thing in it? Everything else is locked but there's [ Here, he drops his voice like he's delivering the climax of a horror story at a campfire, ] no one there. [ There's a beat, and then he laughs it off. ] Pretty cool, right? Kinda gives murder vibes, but I think that's a draw to the kids these days.

Cut it out. [ The dark-haired Matt elbows the other one lightly. ] Anyway, if you have any questions about legal counseling or need to hear our credentials or anything, feel free to let us know. Office hours are going to be a little on-and-off since it's just the two of us, but you can message either of us if you need to come by the office. We're "murdock" and "mmurdock" on the network, so you'll get one of us even if you mess up the spelling.

[ ugh fiiiiine dad. The red-haired Matt manages to roll his eyes even behind those dark shades. ]

Also, I'm just saying, that when someone is accused of a crime, it's generally a good idea to speak to a lawyer. But that's just me. Here's your first piece of free advice: if the cops (or Jerry, this is really "cops" in the metaphorical sense) ask you a question you should just shut up before you further incriminate yourself without an advocate.

Right, there's that too. [ He pauses... What else? Oh, yeah. ] This is Matt, by the way. He's also Matt. It's confusing. Don't worry about it.

((ooc: Replies will come from both Matts!! But yes, come get your legal representation, Aldrip))

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audio

[southernchere]

Hey, now, ain't nothin' wrong with lettin' a couple of fellas know they look sharp and good-lookin'. Might help out with the business.

[ she chuckles too, and then decides to be just a little more serious. ]

— But havin' a law firm around these parts might do us some good. I've heard this place makes don't make a lick of sense, and we oughta make it have some. Or we'll be lookin' tore up from the floor up.

audio

[devilsavocado]

Appreciate it. Foggy always said I had a face for advertising.

[ The fact is he does not know how to handle direct compliments for the most part, so it's a good thing he's on voice. ]

That was our thinking, really. The crimes and sentences here don't make much sense, but if anyone can figure it out it's two JDs.

audio

[southernchere]

I've been hearin' all about the sentencing, but nothing about what they entail. Would you happenin' to know? — Because I reckon "life in prison" is a lil' redundant if this world is the slammer.

[ she'll need to know so she can properly prepare herself whenever it's her turn. ]

[devilsavocado]

From what I can tell, they seem to pick a few people at random every other month to serve out their "sentence," based off of whatever crime they got charged with when they got here. People get called in to the Council's headquarters, and if you don't show up, they turn the screws on you, with headaches and that kind of thing until you pretty much don't have a choice.

Once you're done with the Council, seems like they make you forget whatever happened in there and then you get some kind of "punishment." They haven't been anything all that serious from what I can tell—it'll be things like making people do some of Jerry's work, or even connecting with new people, that kind of thing.

Not a lot of due process when you get a piece of paper that says you're guilty, but you know. There's a hell of a lot of holes in this thing, and none of it makes any sense.

[southernchere]

[ there's a brief silence on her side of the line as she processes what she's being told. and when she finally speaks up, there's irritation booming in her voice: ]

So you meanin' to tell me, I got teleported right in the middle of savin' the damn world from extinction just so I can do some dang errands as a "punishment" for a "crime" that I had no control over and tried my hardest to prevent?

[devilsavocado]

[ Trust me, he gets it. ]

Wish I could say otherwise, but yeah. Pretty much.

[southernchere]

These Councilors best hope they don't see me and hope they wear jackets, 'cuz it's gonna be mighty cold on the floor once I'm done knockin' their heads back and forth.

[devilsavocado]

If we knew who they were, or if anyone could remember ever meeting them, I'd be right there with you.

[ Matt, you're supposed to be an unassuming bling lawyer. ]

[southernchere]

My gut still tellin' me they're just a buncha telepaths who are having a grand ol' time rustling up our feathers. It's the only explanation I can come up with if meeting 'em make us remember squat.

[ a brief pause as she thinks quietly to herself. ]

Say, hon, have you met Jerry?

[devilsavocado]

That... would actually make a lot of sense. They sure seem to be able to get into our heads easily enough.

[ Telepaths. Why wouldn't that not be a thing? ]

Not in person, no. I've only been here for a couple of months.

[southernchere]

And if they're a real expert, they can use their powers to make up an entire world for all of us to live in. A fella done told me we might be in a simulation than an actual planet. But if we're goin' along with 'em being telepaths, what I wanna know is how in the Sam hill are they able to yanks us into one spot.

[ as to the answer about him not encounter jerry personally, she sighs lightly. ]

Seems like big boy love playin' hide and seek.

[devilsavocado]

Yeah, planets and powers like that are a little out of my wheelhouse. If there's one or two telepaths behind this, then I'm willing to believe it. I like that theory a lot better than us being stuck in a simulation.

At least if it's a few people, we can win.

[southernchere]

If I could just get close to Jerry or just meet 'em, I'll be able to give us a few answers. It'll be a lil' risky to do, but better than us standin' and starin' around like turkeys with our mouths open to gobble up rain water.

[devilsavocado]

[ Hello, dangerous woman? Matt's into that..... ]

Might be dangerous, but it also might be worth a shot. They're not consistent about when they hand out sentences, but Jerry does it in person most of the time.

[southernchere]

[ there's a brief silence on the other side of the line, but when she speaks again, there's a hint of a mischief spark in her tone. ]

So what I'm hearin' is I gotta be a lil' of a rascal around here.

[devilsavocado]

[ Matt chuckles. ]

I'm not your lawyer, so I can't advise you one way or another.

[ That's a yes. ]

[southernchere]

Then let's keep this lil' secret between you and me, Sugah. Don't tell on me now.

[ she snorts a giggle too, but silliness aside. ]

If I find somethin', I'll give ya a holler.

[devilsavocado]

Seeing as how my bar license only covers the state of New York, I think we're good.

Keep me posted.

🎀

[southernchere]

You can count on me, Handsome!