Scott 'has zero self-respect' Summers (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
laserguy) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
expiationnet2024-04-03 09:13 pm
laserguy) wrote in expiationnet2024-04-03 09:13 pm
audio;
[Quentin's still not back home.
He takes a long breath, mostly to get his feelings somewhat under control. His roommate is a huge asshole, but he's worried and everything. Maybe he should just do text, but whatever, he's going through with this.]
If anyone has seen Quentin Quire around, tell him to stop fucking around and come back. He's uh.
[Fuck, what is his normal hair color?????]
He's a dweeb with a mohawk and glasses. Usually wearing some stupid t-shirt with a slogan on it. Anyway, tell him that his room is starting to smell.
[Please don't be gone. Fuck. Did he get lost in the middle of all this bullshit? Trapped somewhere? Sent 'home?' They just went through that whole stupid thing with the alternative life and now Aldrip is a city, so he's feeling all kind of ways. He's really confused and upset and he doesn't know what he's supposed to do, but he's starting here.]
Oh, I'm calling a mandatory 'we're going to the movie theater' event to all members of TWAT club. Don't feel like going? Too bad, don't care, you're going-- that's what mandatory means. Leader's orders.
[He just wants to do something normal with his friends okay--]
He takes a long breath, mostly to get his feelings somewhat under control. His roommate is a huge asshole, but he's worried and everything. Maybe he should just do text, but whatever, he's going through with this.]
If anyone has seen Quentin Quire around, tell him to stop fucking around and come back. He's uh.
[Fuck, what is his normal hair color?????]
He's a dweeb with a mohawk and glasses. Usually wearing some stupid t-shirt with a slogan on it. Anyway, tell him that his room is starting to smell.
[Please don't be gone. Fuck. Did he get lost in the middle of all this bullshit? Trapped somewhere? Sent 'home?' They just went through that whole stupid thing with the alternative life and now Aldrip is a city, so he's feeling all kind of ways. He's really confused and upset and he doesn't know what he's supposed to do, but he's starting here.]
Oh, I'm calling a mandatory 'we're going to the movie theater' event to all members of TWAT club. Don't feel like going? Too bad, don't care, you're going-- that's what mandatory means. Leader's orders.
[He just wants to do something normal with his friends okay--]
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[Not quite the same thing, since Quentin and him are just mutants and not really family, but Scott's trying. It's the first feeling that propped up anyway, and he pulls up one knee up on the couch so that he can lean against it. Man, parallel worlds really are screwy, aren't they? Fun in concept, less fun actually dealing with it. That sort of crap just needs to stick to movies.]
Weird and awkward, isn't it? Kind of feels like you should be acting in a certain way or that you're just missing a big chunk of something that's really important.
[...Not too much success there in not talking about Quentin, but it's fine, this is kind of important anyway. He likes hearing more about Ange too; he meant it when he said that she's one of his best friends here. They've known each other for months now and she's still a pretty private person. So, this is kind of nice, even if it's talking about crappy stuff.]
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I imagine they also died in their parallel world when my entire family did when I was younger. Or would die, sooner or later. I'm not sure it happened for them yet. [ Because, yes, Scott is right - this entire parallel world business sure can get messy and complicated at times. ] So they only ever knew me as a six year old kid. It made it a little easier to not feel too much pressure about the way I acted around them, since I couldn't live up to that impression anyway.
[ Ange shifts where she's sitting, letting out a slight breath. Something about her seems like she's trying to not betray too much of her emotions in this moment, but a bit of something heavy seems to seep through all the same. ]
.. did you feel like Quentin expected anything from you?
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Should he be surprised by this news? She said it so casually... Scott winces a little, something sympathetic churning in his chest as he listens to her, not wanting to interrupt a moment too early. He knows about her horrible aunt and he knows that she's... dead as well back home, but he didn't realize that there was an entire massacre or something. Her entire family got killed one day and later on, it happened to her? That's some really horrible curse or shit.]
I... I didn't know that. About your family. That's... awful. [He starts there, his focus on her for the time being. Even if Ange is doing a pretty good job hiding her emotions, Scott can tell by now that she's kind of covering it up.] I'm sorry you didn't get to know them just a little more before this stupid place just yanked that opportunity from you.
[He doesn't answer her question about Quentin just yet.]
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Ange looks over at Scott, the look in her eyes changing to something close to muted surprise. ]
I forgot you didn't know. [ It's the sort of reputation that's been following her around her entire life, after all. Considering how much the case of her family's death was blown up in the media and how recognizable her last name was, Ange is so used to being known as the girl whose entire family died in a mysterious incident pretty much anywhere she goes.
Even though she's been away from her world for quite some time now, it's sometimes hard to shrug off the habit of assuming everyone knows you and your story to some extent. ]
It was.. a big thing where I come from. [ The girl slowly explains. ] No one knows how it happened, or what exactly went down at all. The media has been speculating about it ever since it happened because of that.
[ And that's still before the era of true crime podcasts. Ange has no idea how much worse it could've been. ]
Everyone back home knows me as the girl with the family who mysteriously died.
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It shouldn't be unsolved and crap. Or at the very least, stop treating Ange like someone straight out of the circus.]
Man, screw all of those people. [He's a bit angry, defensive for her. Maybe it's not what Ange needs or wants right now, but Scott can't stop those emotions from bubbling up and being expressed.] They don't know anything.
[Ange is way more than just the tragedy of her family.]
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.. she doesn't know. But even though it's technically too late to hear these things, it still soothes something inside of her. Especially when she places it in the bigger picture of how accepting and nice Scott has been to her in this place, even getting to the point of offering to share his house with her when she was alone. ]
Thanks.
[ Ange scoots over a little on the couch, and then tilts until she's leaning against Scott's side, her head on his shoulder.
She doesn't comment on the proximity out loud. Doesn't draw attention to it. Maybe she just.. needs it for a second in this moment. ]
My aunt.. [ She slowly starts, knowing that Scott at least knows about that. ] She was the only one who survived the incident. No one came back but her. I think she killed everyone. That's why she must have resented being forced to take care of me in the aftermath.
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Scott wisely doesn't comment about this. He knows that it will make her uncomfortable or fluster Ange. Normally it's fun teasing her, but not now. He knows when to stop being a little asshole.
Instead, he listens as she talks about her aunt-- the shitty one, right? Oh, definitely the shitty one if she's the one that might have killed her whole family and treated Ange badly. Wow, definitely fuck that lady.]
...She's really just a horrible person, Ange. [And maybe she should've thought about not killing everyone if she didn't want to take care of a child.] They should've just tossed her ass in prison.
cw: mental health issues
[ There have been many times during her life where she wished for that, after all. Even though the consequences of that would still absolutely suck for Ange, considering she'd then end up with her mother's family..
But at that point she definitely would've taken anything above aunt Eva.
The girl pauses for a moment, though she's still leaning against him a little. A slight frown appears on her face, and she slowly starts with: ] Scott, do you ever..
[ .. her voice trails off, and for a moment she doesn't say anything. It's like Ange is struggling to say what she wants to say here - whatever that might be. ]
This is probably going to sound.. dumb. [ It sounds dumb to her, anyway. Cringe, even. But she still has to admit to herself that it's on her mind. ] Do you ever think things just.. won't get better for you? Ever?
[ Maybe she shouldn't be asking it. She wanted to cheer him up, after all. Take his mind off Quentin.
But considering the topic they've arrived at, she can't help it. This question has just been too heavily on her mind for a while now, and at some point it can't help but come out, right? Especially around someone she actually trusts. ]
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It's certainly a question he wasn't expecting though. Although, he wasn't sure what to expect in the first place.
Still, Scott remains quiet for a few seconds, clearly putting some thought into this before he answers. For Ange, especially right now, he doesn't want to just give her a half-assed answer. Being fully honest with her is actually pretty easy, especially after those times he's confided in her.]
...Yeah, I definitely thought that way before.
[Back in Ohio, back before he got his powers and when he was just an angry teenager that had no goal in life. But also maybe those hours after he got his powers and he thought he had to walk around blind for the rest of his life. It didn't last long, that feeling, but it was there and definitely consuming.]
And um, I had a lot less to complain about compared to you. [He had his parents, as distant he feels from them sometimes, but they still loved him. Of course he has his brother too. All people that have been willing to support him.] Just sort of thought no one really cared what I did back home.
cw: suicidal ideation
It's something.
But it also means she knows anyone can struggle, regardless of circumstances. If anything, Scott admitting to this actually feels a little good. It makes her feel less dramatic for feeling the way she does. ]
.. yeah. Me too.
[ Her words are so soft. Not that anyone else can hear it, since it's just the two of them in the house now, but it still feels like she's sharing a vulnerable secret with him that she doesn't tell other people in this place about. ]
No one cared if I lived or died. Until even I didn't know anymore why I was still alive. And even now, I.. [ She bites her lip, but then continues. ] I'm still not sure of why. I guess I have to uncover the truth behind my family's deaths, but.. after that, there's nothing left for me.
[ ... ]
It's really hard sometimes, even here.
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And sure, he might've angrily thought about things never really getting better for him in the past, but he never thought that no one cared if he lived or died. Okay, maybe a couple of times when he was in a particularly bitchy mood, but those feelings never lasted. They were just brought on by normal teenage angst.]
Ange...
[He starts, trying to think of something to say in response. Here she is, expressing what's been on her mind and being open, and he's struggling to come up with something.]
I'm glad you're alive. That you're here.
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Thanks, Scott.
[ Granted, she doesn't sound much happier - but it's not like Ange sounds happy all that often, and the words don't sound fake or dismissive. She doesn't even shift away from where she's still leaning against him.
It's just that talking about this isn't easy when she never did so before. ]
I think.. maybe it's the first time anyone has ever told me that. I'm sure that must sound silly.
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...
God he sounds so sappy. When did that happen again? Guess after learning that his friends have hard lives, or that some of them can only exist in this place. It's all hard. He couldn't be that grumpy solemn teenager knowing all that. Maybe it's just channeling that anger to something else, like being a little upset on Ange's behalf.]
It's not silly, it just sucks that no one's ever said something like that to you. I like you, Ange, you're a really good friend. I meant what I said that you're like one of my best friends here.
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[ She pauses, like she's verbally tripping over her own words, and only then tries again. ]
Don't you ever feel like it's a bad idea to get attached to people here? [ Surely Scott must have thought about it, Ange thinks. Especially since he's dating someone here, which is a level even beyond just becoming friends with people. And Ange already thinks the latter is terrifying enough in and of itself, considering the point she's making here. ]
I mean, one day we're all just going to go back to our own worlds. We won't ever see each other again.
[ And Ange knows that she will likely not even be alive for that much longer either, if she'll even be alive at all when she goes back. ]
no subject
At least he has a comparison right now, someone to think about, someone important to him that is no longer here.
Dazai's probably back home, causing his usual brand of chaos, and if he ever returns, he won't remember Scott at all. Won't recall the times he helped and mentored him through a bunch of personal shit. It'll suck, like majorly, but he still can't say he wished he'd never met the man. So, applying that same mindset to everyone else... he shakes his head to Ange's question.]
It's going to hurt later. I know it will.
[He somehow says that with a calm voice, even though there's a note of pain in it as well. Not like he's immune to the idea of never seeing Kotone or Ange or any of his friends ever again. Honestly, his chest constricts almost painfully at the mere thought of it. Live each day to the fullest is what Koto always said...]
But... I'd be more upset if I never got to be friends with you and the others. [Are those memories enough? ...They'll have to be. He just has to hold them really close.]
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Maybe the answer doesn't surprise her all that much.
Especially since she then starts, a little quietly: ]
You're a strong guy, Scott.
[ No matter what he himself might think. Given some of their past talks and encounters, she feels like he might be inclined to disagree with that - but it's her honest opinion of him. ]
I think that even if it hurts for you later, you'll be okay.
[ Though she doesn't mention anything about herself. ]
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[He's not sure if he's really strong, but Scott doesn't try to start denying her words either. He just doesn't know what he'd do if he tried to stop being friends with everyone or break things off with Kotone... he definitely couldn't handle that. Besides, he's pretty sure that she'd be very upset with him, especially if that was his reasoning.
So, instead, Scott bumps his shoulder against Ange, a small smile to him before he decides to prod her about her thoughts about this.]
How about you, Ange?
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[ Her answer is a little quiet. Mostly because it's complicated. Ange isn't entirely sure whether she's even got her own head fully wrapped around it at this point. ]
I've never been close to people before. [ It just didn't happen back home. Who would there even have been to be close to?
She's not counting her imaginary friends, or her imaginary dead family members. That's different. These are actual people here. ]
It kind of feels like it's too late for me to start doing that by now. [ Despite the fact that she's sitting here with Scott. In their shared house. With her leaning against him.
But that's exactly the problem. She's doing all this, but at the same time she feels so unsure about it all. ]
I guess it's the first time I've ever said that.
[ To anyone.
Even to herself. ]
Maybe I just.. don't know how to do it.
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He's not great at this, but.]
It's not too late, you're still here and everything. That means there's still time.
[None of them know how long they're going to stay here, but Scott doesn't want to say something like that out loud.] And hey, you got the expert here to help.
[Jesus, the old him would perish thinking that he was an expert on having friends.]
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Maybe that's why she doesn't stray further down the path of what they were talking about. Instead she lets out a puff of breath after the last thing Scott says there. ]
What, are you going to give me tips for friendship or something?
[ At least that's a little bit lighter, meant as a joke. ]
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Maybe.
[He's not sure how he became the 'friendship' guy. He never considered himself to be one of those types before. He was the outcast with few friends back home, but things changed. Maybe it was that continuation of meeting people who are just as weird as him, the motivation to make them feel normal and okay just for a little. Make him feel normal. He started it with Jean and Kurt and Jubliee back home, so... guess all this reminded how comfortable he was with them.
Besides, he genuinely likes his friends here. Corny, yeah.]
Don't worry, I'll only save them for special occasions. [He snorts, letting the topic shift into something light.] I don't want to appear like someone from a children's cartoon.
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[ Sorry, Scott.
At least Ange's tone is still a little more quiet, which makes it feel way less like a very direct roast, especially compared to how flat Ange's usual tone is. Hopefully that makes him feel a little better about it. ]
But it's okay. That's what I like about you. [ Even though she whines and complains about it all the time. There's just something kind of nice about the way Scott is way more social than her here. ] If you weren't here, I probably still would have been all alone now.
[ Putting aside whether that's for the worse or better in the light of their conversation - it's still just true. ]
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Scott can't believe he's been delegated to the 'friendship guy,' when did this happen?? He's never been that kid back home. It's just that he's somehow more social than all of the other teens in this world! ...Kind of like when he first arrived in Xavier's, huh? He huffs a little, sounding just a little offended (but not really), but whatever retort he was about to make diminishes when Ange continues.
...Because man, now he can't complain. Because Ange likes him when he's being friendly and he's made her feel less lonely, which is what he wanted. It is nice that he's made someone that he cares about feel better like that. Like he's really helped someone out.]
Giving me all the credit? Alright. [He doesn't think Ange would be entirely alone; Scott is still of the opinion she has friends other than him, but maybe this is the less embarrassing option. They've been pretty mushy.] Sounds like I should be given a plaque.