expiationnet | (video) an orb speaks

... What does that mean?

(please, peter, at this point they might be of your canon themselves... very confused... over everything peter says...

but there's a sigh. it's not 'alien', perse, however...)

Do you know any other orbs of light? That's what I am, really. I'm probably four times older than you or more. You know so much, so I thought maybe you knew others like me. There's only me as far as I know, but...

Sorry, it's like an extra promise. Like a pinky promise—crap, you probably don't know that one either, huh? My bad. I say a lot of Earth stuff, don't worry about it. My friends don't understand me either half the time.

[ He laughs. That, or he has taught all his friends his weird way of speaking, so they tend to get the phrases all wrong.

Anyway, Fushi is saying something that very serious, and Peter hears that. But Peter is, unfortunately, Peter. ]

Whoa, you're four times my age? You look good, dude!

[ OK, he hears it. It's bad. He holds his hands up in surrender, knowing his fast mouth can get him in trouble more than not. ]

Kidding. I'm kidding, sorry. I do that a lot, at the wrong times. Let me think...

[ He really does take the time to think. He's met a lot of races and species in the galaxy, but he's never heard of a race called "orbs of light." The Worldmind was kind of light-like? And Adam Warlock, well, the Magus was kind of like an orb of darkness, but still... Nova Force, Faith Energy, even the Infinity Stones... they don't sound quite like that. Certainly Fushi doesn't seem like a sentient infinity stone.

He's stumped. ]

I've never heard of a species called that, I'm sorry.

[ He knows that's probably not what Fushi wanted to hear. But he means every word he says: ]

But just because I've never heard of it doesn't mean there aren't other ones out there. The galaxy is huge and it's constantly expanding, so I know for a fact that it's impossible to truly see it all.

... Oh. Then cross my heart I will try to understand you more.

(look at them, learning, being nice. opening up, just like tonari had wanted-- but only for now. only a little bit. outliving everyone truly does suck.

the comment makes her shake her head, sighing a little. slowly, it's like gust and mist take over her, only to reveal the white-haired boy who often walks the hallways.)

Ah, that's... Not really how I look at all... This is not it, either, I think, but you'll find me more quickly and easily if you look for me like this... They were young, so-- I really don't have a body that shows how old I am...

(because this is not confusing at all. however, it does give him some sort of relief, and almost immediately, he starts to eat - the grump in his stomach signals so. this body is always starving...)

... It's okay, Peter. I figured. You don't have to look like that. I was just wondering if there was any other being who understood me somewhere.

(NOT LIKE THIS ISN'T SAD OR ANYTHING.)

[ Peter smirks at the turn of phrase, his eyes going wide with understanding as Fushi changes forms. That's so neat! And Fushi's follow up makes sense too—Peter's heard about that happening with shape-shifting species. It must be hard to not know or remember what you look like.

Even if not all of his words make sense, Peter reaches for Fushi and sets a tentative hand on his head. (Helps to be tall!) Fushi might be several times his age, but his words are just too sad. ]

Hey. You don't need to be the same species to be understood, Fushi. I know that real well.

[ He pulls back, hoping he hasn't overstepped. This is the part where he opens up his bleeding heart because he knows so badly how it feels to be completely and utterly alone. ]

I know it's probably hard to believe with how many humans there are here, but back home, I'm more used to being the odd guy out. [ There was also the whole first 3 years in prison, but that's a little too dark for right now. ] And my friends, they're... not one of us is from the same planet, or even species. So many of us lost everything in the War, but we all found each other. And despite all our differences, we still try to understand each other. That's what brings us together. So you really shouldn't give up on being understood, alright?

(fushi doesn't know -- simply because an orb doesn't come equipped with consciousness. several things they have been changed their priorities and ways of thinking - the years they've spent running from their problems as a sea creature taught them as much. digging for friends was such a huge thing.

there's a little moment of surprise, how long has it been since he's been petted? forty years? more? as a human, must have been more. the smile is there, though, even if a little hidden.)

... I know, I understand what you are saying... My friends are all... Humans, or animals. Many fishes... They are dead now, probably... The problem is that, even if you do understand me, you will die, right? I do not. You can cut my hand off right now, it'll just grow back. There's no end of me, so... I've been trying to find people, mine have all passed... But it's difficult with that. So that's what's hard for me to grasp. Maybe finding other immortal beings would help me... So, that's why I asked you.

[ Peter is a very physically affectionate guy, I'm afraid you might be stuck with him now, Fushi.

He nods, taking their words seriously. It's a real issue in space, too. Different races have different lifespans, a fact that isn't lost on Peter. Hell, he's probably going to age the quickest out of his friends, too. ]

Yeah, that's true. That has to hurt, losing people over and over.

[ He looks down at the pear he'd bit into. Already, the white part is starting to brown. To someone who lives forever, a human life would feel that fast, huh? It's wild. ]

I wish I could tell you it gets easier or something. If Groot were here, he'd know what to say. [ He's probably immortal too? He's so good at comforting people. ] But hey, there are species in the universe that live practically forever, so that's not as rare as you think. You'll have chances, I know it.

[ He looks back up, smiling softly. ]

And in the meantime, you might as well make some friends, right? Or, uh, not... I mean, it's really up to you, that's just what I think.

... "I am Groot" doesn't sound particularly comforting, Peter... But it's nice that you are thinking of him and your friends. It's... Important to remember and keep them close to you like this.

(ah, if only peter knew how hard it is. fushi's been through a lot, and the comment doesn't truly help a lot, because he knows. he knows this is what he should do, what he was asked to by someone beloved.

BUT IT'S HARD!!! the pain of knowing and being known... he straight up just wants to fuck off again. he won't, though, he'll to the best next thing. the wolf form also feels like them so much, the first living, breathing being he'd become, so that's what the mist takes him, and the arctic wolf hides under the bed.

and it speaks, too.)

... I want to be friends, you just can't die on me, alright?

Hey, don't knock it till you meet him. [ Peter laughs. You joke, but Peter takes joking as a good sign. And even if it's not a joke, well, too bad. ] It's about the delivery! Groot looks at you with those big ol' eyes... He's practically family to me. Him, Rocket, Drax, Gamora, even Nikki... They make it all worth it for me.

[ Family isn't about blood, Peter learned that much. He knows all about treasuring his friends, and keeping them close to his heart. Especially when he's all alone, in a strange place.

But ohhhh!!! Fushi is a dog now!!! Oh, he's just like Cosmo, this is great. Peter doesn't understand why Fushi decided to be a wolf, but he has to respect it. Anyone else might be overrun by the desire to pet but he's learned from Cosmo that you don't do that! Not without asking, at least.

Peter shares a serious look with Fushi, keeping eye contact even like this. ]

I won't. [ He answers seriously, ] I've survived worse, I'm not gonna die here. Plus, I have too many people counting on me at home—there's no way I'll let anything kill me.

... I know how you feel... These forms I can take are actually people I've met. They all took care of me, in a way or another... I hope you can see your friends soon.

(what a good young lad. fushi can be friends. he seems a lot like his own, the ones who have passed.

and also, mostly because he can fit under the bed easier, hide a little. his other forms won't do that so well, with an owl, a blind crab, a blind mole... this is really so much more comfortable.

the only caveat is that he is happy, and the tail wags without he even wanting to. goddamnit. stop!!! don't make him attached!!-- ah, well.)

... Ok. Then we're friends.

I'm sure they're out there looking for me. I mean, they'd act like they don't care, but deep down... they're all softies. It's cool that you can change forms like that. I bet that helps you keep their memory alive, huh?

[ Maybe it's a little morbid, but Peter can see the bright side in anything. It also tells him that Fushi is a big softie too. He grins, seeing that tail wag. Sorry, Fushi, he's gonna go for a scritch on the head. ]

Glad to hear it, buddy! I'm always pumped to make more friends. [ Scritch scritch. ] And don't worry—I'll keep your whole thing a secret.

[ It's true, he's a great liar. If anyone asks him, he'll say he's mastered dancing with wolves. ]

Do you think they can make it here? Who would you want to see first?

... Sort of... It's-- It's complicated?

(so, if peter wants to hear it, he'll tell him. it's not that complicated, but it's a matter of god being an asshole, and that's a whole thing by itself.

the pet though makes the tail wag stronger, tapping the floor almost in a rhythm. he can't help but to push his head more against the palm, until he's out of under the bed and jumping on it.

his face looks like 'pet', but he's trying to be almost serious.)

... Yes, it's for the best. I need... To see how people are, first. After I think everyone is safe, then I don't care.

There might be a chance! But they'd have to use this thing called the Continuum Cortex, because it kinda seems like whatever planet this is, it's not in the same universe as mine.

[ Can't believe Peter is chill with the multiverse, but then again, he is a Marvel. He keeps petting between Fushi's ears, absentmindedly. It's calming for him too. ]

But if it were down to which friend I'd like to see first... man, it's hard to choose. I'd wanna see them all? If I had to pick one though... probably Rocket. He'd be soo mad at me, but soo worried. He's not real good with his emotions, so it's always kinda nice when he opens up.

[ Rocket is also a cyborg raccoon so like, Peter is leaving out some key details here. But it's not on purpose, he just forgets that people are weird about him sometimes. ]

Complicated how? If it's cool to ask.

[ They're sharing! And Peter is happy to listen, he loves learning about new things. Even stuff that might be too complicated for him to get. ]

I totally get wanting to keep it quiet. I always try to believe in the best of people, but I'm not naive enough to think I won't ever be disappointed. Some people are dicks, or they get angry when they run into stuff that might take them a while to figure out. There's jerks like that everywhere.

Honestly, I don't know... If it's in mine, either.

(the wolf's voice is a little goofy, which makes it a little funny to have serious conversations in, but being petted feels absolutely amazing, so it's not like fushi'll complain. to the contrary, he's even raising his chin to get more scratches. nevermind the foot tapping, because fushi can't notice that either.

also, it's cool, because fushi would not even know what a cyborg is. peter would have to explain. like he will have to explain everything in life from this point forward. congratulations, peter.)

Is anyone really good with emotions? Emotions are complicated. Life is easier when you're a fish. What is Rocket like? Is he... Human? I think you're human. Are you human?

(he means it, about the fish thing. god knows.)

Ah. Well. Alright. I'm an orb of light, just that. I was made to be able to receive stimuli, and understand the world around me... So, well. I can take up the form of people who made gave me stimulus - pain, happiness, concern, all these things... After they die, though. I would know if you died, because I'd be able to turn into you.

(MORBID, yes. but ok.)

There are these beings that aren't... Good... And I'm a threat to them... I was made to be one. So they follow me. They can steal my forms, so I don't just lose a body, I lose the person completely from my memory. So basically, God created me to deal with that, learn, and apparently take over. I told him it'd take at least 100 years more until I understood something, but he's selfish and doesn't listen very well.

(please, more pets. he needs them.)

So, I deal with that, lose my friends again if I lose a fight, and God doesn't help me, and I have to keep fighting them otherwise they'll hurt people. It's not that I don't trust people with my identity, I just need to know everyone is safe from being around me before I'm out in the open like this.

Edited 2023-02-21 00:42 (UTC)

Yeah, it kinda seems like we might all from different universes, honestly... dunno how that's even possible, but.

[ He shrugs. It's waaay too complicated for him to think about, so he just won't. ]

Feelings are hard, man. Probably the hardest part of being a person. [ Being a fish probably would be easier, damn. Fushi must have some wild stories. ] Which, okay, is probably why Rocket has so much trouble with his. He's not human-shaped like me. He's kinda like... Okay, you know how you're a wolf right now? He's an animal called a raccoon, but some bad people experimented on him and filled him full of metal and robot parts. So he walks on two legs and he's super smart and he can talk, but his face and body still look kinda animal-y.

But I'd never say he's not human, you know? I'm not real big on splitting people up based on whether they're "human" or not. I think what's inside is what counts, the shape doesn't matter so much... but yeah, in the traditional sense, I'm human. My mom was from Earth, and my dad was from a planet called Spartax—people from Spartax look the same as people from Earth, pretty much.

[ Fushi really is getting the full background here, Peter just hopes his explanations make sense... Fushi is at least doing a great job of explaining. Peter wants to know everything about his new friend! ]

Ohhh, gotcha. So it only works after someone dies?

[ Morbid or not, death is something Peter is familiar with. It bears asking—though the thought of Fushi taking on his likeness after he dies is kind of... awesome? It would be very cool for his memory to live on like that. But he just promised he wouldn't die, so that'll have to wait.

He keeps the pets coming, petting along Fushi's muzzle and nose, then back to his ears. Who's a good boy!! Who is maybe being set up to be a god? Wow. ]

Dude, that's a lot. Half of that went over my head but it sounds awful. Your god's a jerk, no offense. And if you're being chased by flarks that can steal your memories and stuff, it's no wonder you're careful!

(for a moment, he can only listen, if peter doesn't distract him so much with the pets. it's been a while for fushi being this open, and after forty years without any contact, it's really sending him. he'll even come closer, a gentle butt of his head against peter's face. emotional support wolf.)

... And you grew up with these beings all different from you? Did you ever feel left out? It must be really incredible to meet people like this... I can't even imagine a metal raccoon... Does he want to be more like you? ... I've never met anyone like you... Spartaxi--an? What is different?

(that's a bit of a question, isn't it? in a world where everyone is so different, someone else has problems like that, of not fitting in.)

... Yes, it only works like that. I can duplicate the body and the skills, but it's still just me. A lof of them died because of this situation, though... So not forgetting them is the least I can do-- he's a fucking ass.

(THE WOLF SWEARS!! and he fixes his posture to imitate the Beholder, even if the wolf's vocal chords can't do miracles. it is still dry and serious, however, like he was trying to be grim and a jerk who has a jerk face and a jerk black hood.)

"You must protect all of creation. Perhaps once you are able to recreat the ocean, your duty would be finished, I'm an ugly man who has nothing to do but to give cryptic messages and be annoying and selfish."

[ Emotional support wolf!!! Peter keeps cuddling... it's soothing, you know. ]

Kind of, I didn't know I was part-Spartoi until I turned 13. Turns out my dad was the King? Not that he ever showed up for us. My mom raised me growing up, so I had no idea until then. But that's when I first went into space... Actually, I felt left out for a long time. My first three years, I didn't have a translator implant, so I couldn't understand anybody at all. It was hard for sure.

[ And also he was in a very dangerous space prison, but he doesn't wanna bring the mood down with that detail. ]

Rocket though, nah, he's his own man. He'd laugh at the thought of even being "like me."

[ Probably say "like Quill? You mean a flarking loser?" Peter smiles at the thought. ]

It's, ah—Spartoi. Spartoi don't really go off-planet very often. They're known across the galaxy for their making awesome weapons, that's where my blasters are from. [ He nudges the guns at his hips. ] Fun fact, these'll only work in the hands of someone who's got Spartoi royal blood. They're a family heirloom, about the only cool thing I got from my dad.

[ That thing about his dad being the king is 100% true. But also when Fushi curses Peter laughs. But encouragingly, he's happy to join along. ]

Hell yeah, dude! Flark that jerk. Thinks he can just toy with you and take away the memories of your friends? He's a asshole, if I've ever heard of one! Screw him!

Edited (j'son of spartax is a bad dad, in case that wasn't clear ) 2023-02-21 04:55 (UTC)

... And you really didn't know all this... Wow. Not understanding language is awful, I know what you went through, but it must have been more frustrating knowing something was being told...

(because honestly, to fushi, it was just all brrrrrrr noises.)

Oh. Yeah. I wanted to touch them... Is your dad gone? Why did you leave?

(when will fushi tell him that all the food came out of his hand? eventually, probably.)

Yes!! You understand!! You understand!!

(and here's a very happy wolf, jumping on the bed in circles before peter is attacked. by licks. from a doggo.)

[ Oh, Peter is being attacked by a very happy wolf, how ever will he survive. He has the biggest smile on his face as he pets Fushi's neck, ears, and tummy, enjoying the orb's unabashed joy. Who's a good boy??? ]

Haha, glad that cheered you up, buddy! I know all about scuthole dads. Mine was pretty bad.

[ Welp, can't go into detail without going back to tallking about childhood trauma prison, so here he go. ]

I actually... I got kidnapped from Earth, that's when I left. These bad guys showed up in my house, they were called the Chitauri. That's how I ended up in prison, to keep Spartax out of the war. So it suited the Chitauri just fine to have a hostage who couldn't communicate with anybody. I didn't know any of that, so to me it was three years of just... fear and nothing.

[ Peter's hand stills as he talks about it. This isn't easy for him to joke around or talk about, but having Fushi be this cute and soft is definitely helping. Wolf therapy is real! Peter looks off to the side, a bit distant, before that distance changes to anger as he starts to talk about his dad. ]

My dad was... well, I wish I knew. I've never actually met the guy. He never came to rescue me or anything, even though he had a whole planet's worth of power behind him. I had to rescue myself -- with the help of some space pirates called the Ravagers, and their leader, Yondu. I was lucky Yondu got assigned to be my cellmate, or I might never have gotten out of there.

[ But talk of Yondu is also hard, so he veers back to his dad. ]

Once I was out, I tried visiting Spartax to give dear ol' dad a piece of my mind but... I got turned away. I never even got to be in the same room as him. He was "too busy." [ Peter scoffs. ] Flarking jerk.

But hey, at least I got to keep his blasters. You can check 'em out if you wanna.

[ And even puts them on the table for Fushi to touch if he wants to. They only work for the Spartoi royal family, but hey if Fushi ever copies Peter, he'll have that :D ]

(he can feel the stillness as peter spoke, and it helps that fushi had stopped jumping to listen to him properly. his head sit on the other's shoulder, as he takes it in. this sucks. why do nice people have it the worst? fushi can't understand. peter doesn't deserve this, he is not his father, why should he have suffered in his behalf?

apparently, some situations are universal.)

I'm sorry, Peter. It's... Probably better that way, because he is a flarking jerk.

(oh, yeah. the blasters. there's a moment that fushi leaves the proximity, only so the boy can turn up to be the current form. fingers touch, intrigued - after all, he has never sensed this material before. what the fuc)

... I don't know how to replicate this. One second.

(and fushi is now straight up rubbing a pistol to his face.)

I'm so confused...?

[ If there's one thing society teaches us, it's that all dads are bad. Unless they're protagonists. Peter rubs Fushi's head encouragingly, keeping his smile on in what he hopes comforts the guy. ]

Yeah, it is what it is. He's a jerk, and I turned out fine. Learned what not to do, that's for sure.

[ Peter watches, amused as Fushi switches forms with ease and apparently gets super comfortable with his blasters. Well, he didn't ask how it works, so Peter just assumes this is it? ]

Not really sure what they're made of, to be honest. And they only work when I use 'em, cause they're a 'royal heirloom' or whatever. It's some kind of lost tech, watch this.

[ Peter touches the handle of the gun in Fushi's hand, causing the gun to glow white (and peter's hands) and reform itself to look more like this. ]

It's my only Spartoi trick, hah. Now it's in melee mode, I use that in case I ever gotta fight off guys at close-range.

... Ooooh.

(he says, not understanding a thing at all, absolutely none, including and especially the glowing hands.

but he sticks a hand out, where a replica pops out, useless, because he doesn't really understand it - he will never, due to the specifics, probably.)

... I made a broken one. I think.

[ It's the only time Peter feels like he's a bigger part of the cosmos. Even if that bigger way is kinda tied to his dad... but it's fine. He doesn't need to be special, he has friends who think he is.

Friends like Fushi, too, who are just trying their best. Peter still grins when he sees Fushi's copy. ]

Whoa! That's cool, dude!

[ Peter takes a closer look, exaimining both the gun -- and Fushi's hand. He can just do that? Rad. ]

I mean, even if it doesn't work, that's a sweet replica! Is that another of your cool powers?

(he doesn't mind, he just lets him touch, even shows that his hand is just-- a hand. nothing really special.)

Ah? Yeah. Stimuli, I can replicate things, so that's why I was touching it like that. It's that, the forms, and I can feel pain around me, so if you get hurt, I feel it too.

(ISN'T THAT SAD. either way, he's giving the gun as a gift, because he has no other use for it. it's just a little nice reminder of today, after all.)

I think that's just it. The asshole doesn't tell if anything else.

[ It's cool to see—alien stuff has always been the coolest, so he's excited even to just feel that Fushi's hand is totally normal. ]

Dude, you can feel other people's pain? That has to suck.

[ Peter accepts the gun, twirling it in his hand just for fun. It really weighs the same as the real thing, so you know he's going to keep and treasure this thing.

He snorts hearing Fushi curse now, though. It's good to hear him let loose. It psychs him up, Peter is happy to support him. ]

Well, if you find out anything else, you can let me know. By the sound of that guy, he might've left some stuff out just to fuck with you.

[ Wow, he even said "fuck." ]

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