001 (text, then video)

[electroburst]

we're playing two truths and a lie. if you've never played, it's a game where you say three things: two that are true, one that isn't, and everyone tries to guess which one's the lie.

if you wanna go hard mode, do it with the camera on.

[ the "camera" comes on a moment later to Reno's grinning face. ]

I'll go first!

One: I've got a license for just about anything that flies, and I'm a certified flight instructor.
Two: I've had the same job since I was twenty-two.
Three: I don't have a favorite color.

[ His poker face is immaculate; there are no tells, just his smirk and his unflinching eye contact with the camera. Good luck with your guess. ]


( this is an open post, so feel free to threadjack and play this silly game amongst yourselves. i only provide drunken party entertainment here apparently. )

Comments

[mercedis]

( he sort of figured reno would be filled to the brim with assumptions about him--and he'd been all ready to argue, but this... )

Fuck...words. ( well, he sounds awkward enough saying it out loud. ) I...

( an annoyed breath. )

I didn't have a TV. What did you watch when you were a kid? Moogle's Happy Playtime?

[electroburst]

[ don't make him laugh, it always ends in disaster. he resists, but it takes effort not to snort. fuckwords. why can't this thing record clips so he can play that back later? ]

Fuck yeah I watched Moogle's Happy Playtime. And Detective Chocobo, Tonbuddy & Friends, and my personal favorite: Moomba's Singalong Adventure.

[ casually leaving out the part where he watched these in his teens when he had regular access to tv and not as a kid, don't worry about it. ]

Okay, deprived kid: check. Second one: every time you say "not interested," that's a code for secretly being super interested, but you're too much of a fucking ween to admit it. C'moooon, tell the truth. I'm so right about this!

[mercedis]

Wait, no, back it up. I wasn't deprived. You have to have a TV to be not deprived?

( another annoyed breath. )

I got to do things. We had a whole mountain. ( --that he wasn't supposed to go on-- ) I had...toys. And stuff.

A bike. ( this he comes up with rather proudly, like he's puffing out his chest. ) That's a lot better than Moombas singing about apple pies and sunshiney skies.

( this...appears to point to some evidence he has watched it before...... )

[electroburst]

Wow, okay, spoiled rich kid with your toys and stuff, I'm talking about what you were exposed to. If you weren't watching shit way outside your age bracket, did you ever really live? Guess hick kids had it harder, though. If you wanted to see a boob or blood'n guts or whatever, you had to go about it the ol' fashioned way.

[ we'll get to the part where he's now confident cloud's never seen a boob, but at least we know he made up for the blood'n guts later on in his deprived life. ]

That wasn't even the best song. It was the one about standing up to bullies. The track fucking whipped, and it basically said in not so many words that if someone messes with you, you should beat them with a pipe until they stop. At least, that's how I chose to interpret it. Carried that little nugget of wisdom with me my whole life and it's never steered me wrong.

[mercedis]

I saw plenty of blood and guts. You ever seen someone eaten by a Nibel wolf? I bet not, city rat. Whatever.

I'm pretty sure the moombas didn't say anything about a lead pipe. You made that up in your whacked out head. Besides, like you ever had bullies.

All the kids back home hated me. ( wow, feels weird to say that to reno, but can't take it back now. )

[electroburst]

Hardcore. I sure haven't, but I have seen someone get eaten by a bunch of actual city rats. Not so much on the blood and guts front, though. Fuckin' things waited 'til he was already dead.

[ just normal conversations— and he's not addressing whether he ever had bullies because he just heard the saddest thing he's ever heard in his life and that's more important. "saddest thing" that he impulsively barks a single ha at. ]

How come, didn't you know how to play nice? Maybe Moogle's Happy Playtime woulda done you some favors.

[mercedis]

Yeah? I don't carry a pipe and I don't know how to bake pies.

( there is a small hint of amusement in his tone. )

Dunno why, I just never really fit in. Guess I was weird. The whole...wanting to be friends with someone who was surrounded by people better than me probably helped too, I must've looked like a weirdo always...Mm.

Well. It doesn't really matter. You had a bunch of friends growing up? Besides the people-eating rats.

[electroburst]

Hate to break it to you, but you're definitely a weirdo. You got plenty of folks who like you just fine now, though. And they're all a bunch of freaks too, so you fit in great!

[ himself included? maybe-kinda-sorta. it's complicated. he'd definitely cop to being a freak, though, so there's that. ]

Me? Nah, I didn't do friends, only short-term, mutually beneficial alliances. Guess I had a some contacts, but getting too friendly-like was basically synonymous with "go ahead and take advantage of me! I'm a gullible idiot!"

[ a short pause. ]

Orrrr maybe it was because I kept beating everybody who pissed me off with a pipe, who knows. It doesn't make you popular, but it sure makes a statement!

[mercedis]

( it's fine, really: he'd figured he was weird, and though he should probably be pissed at reno ribbing him about it, he doesn't really mind. it is what it is. he's felt weird enough here to recognize it. )

Is that still how you do it? Short-term, mutually beneficial alliances? That's not what you and Rude seemed like.

( but what does he know, other than the fact that he isn't sure if anyone would haul his unconscious body off a crumbling platform in earnest like that... maybe tifa. )

[electroburst]

[ you... you mention the partner to reno? you mention the partner to reno with the casual attitude? OH! OH!!! JAIL FOR CLOUD. JAIL FOR CLOUD FOR 1,000 YEARS!! ]

I found my own freak nest to roost in later, but isn't there some kinda ethical thing about calling your coworkers "friends"? Pretty sure that's a no-go.

[ Reno clears his throat. he's busted. ]

Anyway, yeah. That's different. Rude's my partner. Not like I'm living in a bar and raising a bunch of random kids with him like some people.

[mercedis]

( you turks are fuckin weirdos dude )

I'm also not doing that. I don't even know any kids. Marlene is afraid of me and the orphanage kids like Aerith better.

Living in a bar doesn't sound that bad though. Surprised that's not where you're living here now.

[electroburst]

[ ah. right. the whole time thing. alive Aerith thing. there's a pause, then he clicks his tongue, tsk. ]

Won't catch me in staying some crowded-ass inn. I'm living wherever's good for the night. These people are real accommodating, heh.

[ boy oh boy does he wish he had his lighter right now. he's getting antsy without something to do with his hands. ]

Anyway, here's a question for you: what were you doing right before you got here?

[mercedis]

Since when did this become the question game?

I was walking.

( smartass. )

[electroburst]

Fucker. Fine, give me three places and I'll guess which one's the one you were walking to.

[mercedis]

An inn, a swimming pool, a strip club.

[electroburst]

[ "an inn" great thanks you fucking donkey ]

Definitely the last one. Guess that answers the third question I was gonna ask you: virgin, yes or no?

[mercedis]

Why does it make me a virgin to go to a strip club?

( oh, now he sounds cranky. )

[electroburst]

'Cause you're full of shit and would never step foot in a fucking strip club. You probably blush if you even see a bra strap.

[mercedis]

I've seen a bra strap. I almost wore a bra strap.

( yep, just the strap. he's an idiot. )

[electroburst]

You almost fucking what? You know there's more to bras than just the one strap, right?

[mercedis]

Depends on the bra.

( duh )

Besides, if they're sm... I'm not talking about this with you.

[electroburst]

You are. You are talking about this with me. If they're what? Go on, I'm riveted. I'm hanging on your every word right now. This is the most captive audience you'll ever have.

[ if only he knew how wrong he is about that last one. ]

[mercedis]

Not interested.

What were you doing right before you got here?

[electroburst]

That means super interested. We're coming back to this one later.

I was having a much-deserved victory cigarette. Handing out hi-potions to screeching little orphans. Getting rained on. Considering a nap. Y'know, the usual.

[mercedis]

That doesn't sound like something a Turk does. You get fired?