001 (text, then video)

[electroburst]

we're playing two truths and a lie. if you've never played, it's a game where you say three things: two that are true, one that isn't, and everyone tries to guess which one's the lie.

if you wanna go hard mode, do it with the camera on.

[ the "camera" comes on a moment later to Reno's grinning face. ]

I'll go first!

One: I've got a license for just about anything that flies, and I'm a certified flight instructor.
Two: I've had the same job since I was twenty-two.
Three: I don't have a favorite color.

[ His poker face is immaculate; there are no tells, just his smirk and his unflinching eye contact with the camera. Good luck with your guess. ]


( this is an open post, so feel free to threadjack and play this silly game amongst yourselves. i only provide drunken party entertainment here apparently. )

Comments

[redlines]

_{[ Emergency Rations. Shiva's frigid ass how many times is this guy going to get Roche to snort? How long before it becomes oink oink boy, you mine now? ]}

I suppose I can't talk given I was partial to calling mine Miss L.

_{[ Like missile. Missile Launcher. ]}

I'm content with the two of us claiming our initial prize, but if you want to go another round then I think we can make it a little more interesting and add more stakes to the pool. It's a win-win either way.

[electroburst]

[ fair trade: Reno snorts at missile. it's not fair that they're both so fucked up like this. ]

Ohhhh no you don't. A draw means nobody wins. You want that favor, I'm gonna make you work for it.

[redlines]

So you don't want the piggyback? And here I was starting to look forward to the idea of a rare creature like yourself clinging to my shoulders. What a shame!

_{[ Roche you are playing with fire. ]}

Unless you want to add to it?

[electroburst]

I know you didn't just make a pass at me by callin' me a fucking creature. What the hell is wrong with you?

[ he says, while grinning like he appreciated it wholeheartedly (which he did) ]

Y'know, I'm starting to feel like what I put in for is too much of a reward for you, actually.

[redlines]

You Turks have access to every SOLDIER's file, don't you? You tell me.

_{[ Don't get him started because he'll never stop. Never. ]}

If you think it's going to be that then I'd suggest you make it more interesting.

[electroburst]

That's classified.

[ wink wank wonk... also he's never seen Roche's, because Roche doesn't fucking exist?! it's fine, that's also classified. ]

Fine, maybe I will. How nasty should I get? 'Cause I can get real nasty.

[ w-wink?? ]

[redlines]

_{[ wow and after he showed all his selfies and everything!! r u d e. not that one, the other one. ]}

Nasty?

_{[ Roche. Roche, quit playing with fire. Stop. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 Stamp dollars. ]}

What kind of nasty?

[electroburst]

All kinds'a nasty. Just depends on what you think you can handle.

[ this is the grin of a killer roche. DANGER WILL ROCHENSON ]

[redlines]

_{[ hoe don't do it don't you dare don't even think about it- ]}

Humor me.

_{[ dumbass. ]}

[electroburst]

You gotta carry me everywhere, and that's the only hands-on you get with me ever, but you get to keep that favor for later. Or, you win another round—no draw—and trade that favor for something a little less vague.

[ the gamble of a lifetime ]

[redlines]

Oh, that is nasty.

_{[ (softly) he'll kill him. ]}

Is that only for the week? Or is it forever-ever?

[electroburst]

Forever-ever.

[ does he have the self-control for forever-ever?

try him bitch ]

So? You wanna play, or are you gonna puss out?

[redlines]

Then... A less-vague favor.

_{[ Let's see... He could order too many hams and crank it up to eleven, but. Nah. He's got a better one. ]}

If I ever find myself in the ditch, do me a favor and pull me out of it?

_{[ On a vehicle? As a joke? In a dire situation? He'll know. ]}

[electroburst]

[ oh god, he snorts so loud and then just cackles like a wild dog. it's hideous. ]

What, rescue you? Do I look like some kinda hero to you? You're the SOLDIER here, numbnuts!

[ LIKE OK TIFA ]

When I said "less vague favor," I meant I'd blow you or something, how the fuck could you miss that? It was right there. The lowest hanging fruit imaginable.

[redlines]

You'd—

_{[ oh goddamn it don't turn the laugh on him don't turn that laugh on him— that's good shit. real good shit. ]}

Red!

_{[ is that a real scandalized gasp or a fake one? you bet your ass it's fake as hell, hand covering his mouth and everything. don't make him snort again goddamn it. ]}

You said it yourself just now, didn't you? I'm a SOLDIER — at least buy me a half-decent drink first.

[electroburst]

[ it's too late. really take it in. that heinous gigglesnort. it's infectious. he laughs like brittany murphy. ]

I'm not buying you shit, Third Class! Anyways, it's too late now. You want me to rescue your dusty ass, consider that request locked in. That's your favor. No head for you.

[redlines]

<sub>[ why didn't he hang around Turks before, man? seriously. if he'd known they were going to be this wild he'd have tried a lot sooner.

but you know what? he can still reverse-uno this. ]</sub>

I'll have you know there's a very distinct lack of dust on it at the present. My ride was stolen, remember?

_{[ horses just don't cut it. ]}

Though that's honestly fine by me. If I'm going to see you on your knees it's not going to be because of some little favor.

_{[ W I N K. ]}

[electroburst]

Sorry 'bout your lack of ass-dust. And you're not gonna see me on my knees ever, 'cause you'll be busy carrying me around.

[ leaning toward the camera and whispering conspiratorially: ]

You're the ride now.

[redlines]

You're awfully eager to ride a SOLDIER, aren't you? You'll have to tell me if it's your first mile down the highway so I don't make your hair turn white.

_{[ he snorts, then shifts to lean back and fiddle with the charm a bit. it's not quite face-timing but you know what? it's going to have to do, funky holograms or no. at least these ones don't require drones. ]}

But you'll have to win first, won't you?

[electroburst]

That's also classified.

[ :J

what is wrong with him. he really needs to lay off the juiced up mako freaks. but listen, he's been in a two year drought without them, what do you expect him to do? be normal? ]

I'm gonna win. I'm fucking great at this game! C'mon, you go first this time. I'm ready to put you back in your place.

[redlines]

We'll see, won't we?

_{[ gods okay now he actually has to think. give him a minute here— ]}

I've nearly died from electrocution, I'm ambidextrous, and I've seen LOVELESS.

_{[ bring it. ]}

[electroburst]

[ a long, silent stare. he's really thinking this one through, picking apart Roche's goofy fuckin face. all that sizing up, he does inside his head (electrocution? not a chance, unless it happened before he was a SOLDIER—yeah, he seems like the type. ambidextrous? what angles was he holding the camera at?)

he leans back when he decides his answer. ]

You haven't seen LOVELESS, but you've read parts of it. Had a hard time getting your hands on all the volumes. Which ones are you missing? Three and six?

[redlines]

_{[ Son of a— ]}

...Four and five. I knew someone who promised to loan me their copies but then they wound up disappearing.

_{[ Not from desertion or anything so dramatic, they just... vanished one day. Roche still doesn't know what the hell happened to them, but he wonders sometimes. ]}

Have you seen it?

[electroburst]

[ you're fucking toast, road hog. check this enormous shark grin, pointy canines and all. ]

Nah, plays aren't really my thing. Did an undercover job where I had to sit through some show about a princess that wants to run off with a lowlife and had to keep fucking pinching myself to stay awake. Too bad we're not at home, I could probably scare up some still-technically-legible copies. Guess you'll never find out what happens!

[redlines]

If we were at home I'd insist you take me to that particular play. I've always had something of a soft spot for tragic love like that. And at the very least you wouldn't be bored out of your skull this time around.

_{[ And what's more tragic than a couple of star-crossed lovers fated to be apart, huh? Huh? Besides one or both parties dying, of course. Gee that sounds awfully familiar too, doesn't it? Thanks, Shinra. ]}

Do you at least know how it goes?