expiationnet | text, un: fauna

alll-mer dammit not again.

they showed up last year around this time too. i don't think we know why or how

why
why is the winter here frogs with missiles

they won't be here all winter, they were just here for about a month last year.

thats a month too much
how do we get rid of them
ive punted these bastards into space and theyre just invincible

i don't know. i just try to avoid them but they're little and hard to spot sometimes.

maybe i just start kicking them all even harder so they cant fall back down

good luck. i'm sure everyone wants those bastards gone.

send video, this I have to see

im not taking video while frogs are shooting at me
also i dont know how

[Lame, Fauna.]

Then you shouldn't be texting while frogs are shooting at you, either. Where are you, do you need help?

[oh this is much easier]

I wasn't texting while they were shooting at me. I'm fine now- I'm up on a roof. They're hanging from those Christmas plant things, right? So if I get above them, with nothing above me, I'm out of their range.

... Getting back to the mansion's gonna be harder, though.

If you're on a roof, then you can take video.

[Dying on this hill!!!]

Look, I don't know what the hell you're talking about; I haven't seen any yet, so I don't know what they're hanging from. But I have a gun to shoot back with. I can play escort. You know what building's roof you're on?

I don't know how. I've never even had a phone before this place, and I don't mess with this one much.

[She has to pause to think about that before she answers, though.]

I do, but... How confident are you with that gun? Can you shoot other bullets down?

I can shoot the frogs.

No good. The frogs are basically invincible. I've punted these bastards into orbit, hit them with my sword, shot them full of lightning... Nothing works.

Great.

I'm good, but not good enough to shoot a bullet out of the air. You any good at dodging?

Yeah, I am. I'll be fine.

But none of that matters, really. I want to know why.

Yeah, and now I do, too. So even if I'm not coming to get you, I'm gonna hunt some of these guys down. What happened when you hit them with the sword? Did it just bounce off?

It bounced off my sword, yeah. Launched it like... What's that game old people like? Golf?

Great. Okay, I'll rein in my inner Tiger Woods. I'll try to--

[Shaw suddenly stops, partway down the street. In the background of her feed, the distant sound of an explosion can be heard.]

-- Are you kidding me.

[There's a long pause, and then.]

Please tell me that wasn't what it sounded like.

It was a missile. Carried by a toad.

They're puns.

They're... puns? What are you talking about?

Missile toads, mistletoe. You know what mistletoe is?

Never heard of it, no. Is it... explosive frogs?

It's a plant. People hang it in doorways and anyone caught under it with another person is supposed to kiss them.

So... The frogs... shoot people... because kissing?

This is stupid and I'm just going to keep blasting any I see.

Aren't you fighting them?

[ Sorry, Fauna, but considering the impression Ange got from you before, she's pretty sure you'd be out there trying to fight them.. ]

what idiot wouldnt be fighting back when frogs are shooting them

[... she's not WRONG but the frogs shot first!]

You would be surprised.

I've had multiple people try to convince me that I shouldn't try to kill them.

[ ...

At least she seems to think what Fauna is doing is valid this time, huh? Go ahead, Fauna, go on that rampage. You deserve it. It's Christmas season self care. ]

i wish i could kill them
these things seem invincible
ive hit them with my sword and they just go flying
no matter what i hit them with it only bounces them away

[aw ange you DO care]

That's what I thought too.

I was kind of hoping that maybe someone powerful would actually be able to do something about them, but it seems that they're indestructible.

I mean, you're pretty powerful, aren't you?

im the strongest around
theres only one person who can beat me and they arent here

i can send them flying at least but that doesnt actually help much

[ The strongest around, huh.

Ange isn't so sure if she believes a claim that goes that far, but she also knows better than to contest it. It'd just give her a headache, she's sure. ]

If only we were still in touch with the AI, we could just ask that thing to get rid of them for us.

text, un: fauna

Text | un: levi

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text; un: ushiromiya

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