expiationnet | ⨂ — 002. VOICE; un: Sugarlips

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⨂ — 002. VOICE; un: Sugarlips

Howdy, Sweet Peas.

Hope ya'll are havin' a good day today. If you are, tell me all about it. What's makin' today better than the rest? — And if it ain't goin' as fine as peach fuzz, what is it about today that's makin' it difficult?

You can answer me in any way you like, public or privately. Through video chat, text, or the good ol' fashion phone call. Whichever makes you feel most comfortable. Regardless, my line is open, and I'm here to listen.

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To begin with, I ain't really thrilled to be here. That's the biggest thing right now.

There are plenty of us folks who aren't so tickled pink to be here. You're not alone with feelin' with how you're feelin'. What kind of mood is it puttin' ya in? Is it sadness, anger, or is it another emotion completely?

[With a cheerful chime in his voice.]

Were I to tell you what weighs on my mind what would you do? Or is the airing of grievances itself meant to bring solace?

Edited 2024-11-06 20:57 (UTC)

[ugh, this fucking guy.]

I will do as I said I was gonna do. Be a lendin' ear and listen to ya. We all need someone to talk to now and then. Important talks or not.

Then will you listen to what plagues my heart? I'll warn you, 'tis not pleasant.

I've been around the block and heard a lotta things. Lay it on me, Sugah.

Very well then...

[His lilt curls.

What to say here...? A joke? Confess to something silly? Or reveal a bit of the truth and see what happens?]

[Private to Rogue]

As we live we hurt, we murder, we torment, we wage wars. The trauma of existence endures, always, as darkness burned upon our very souls. Hope, meanwhile, is a fleeting thing, meaningless against the immortality of pain. At the end of it all, we face the empty finality of death.

[Some of the playfulness drops away, his voice lowers into his throat.]

So I ask you...

When life itself is full of such despair, when even hope means naught, when our greatest triumphs are destined only to fade in time... Why bother living at all?

Kinda angry? I mean, I'm pissed someone's draggin' my name through the mud and took me from home without so much as a warnin'.

[as promised, she listens to him mindfully — her voice and her breathing completely still so to not disturb what his heart wishes to confess. and when he is done, rogue exhales without hurrying, then says with a delicate tone:]

Because of the people in it. Those who are in your life, those who care for ya, the hearts you've touched, they would want you to see and hear your voice every day and in any way they can.

There is no pleasure without pain. Just like there's no dark without light. But at the end of every hell storm, there's sunshine, there's fresh air, and blue skies. I know it's hard to see through all the thorn bushes, but there's beauty beyond it.

What helps... is havin' someone holdin' your hand through it, so ya ain't facin' it alone.

What was the reason for that someone to do that, if ya don't mind me askin'. It's alright, if it's too personal.

Edited 2024-11-07 00:25 (UTC)

Hell if I know. I didn't do anythin' wrong in the first place. They can say I committed some crime all I want, but I know who I am, and I ain't a criminal.

Oh, that! My mistake, Sugah. I thought you meant someone from home was talkin' nasty about ya. — Guess my hamster died on the wheel for a second.

[there's a brief pause and some shuffling sounds on her end of the call. maybe getting herself more comfortable? who knows.]

The crimes they said we so-called "committed" ain't the full truth. Some are exaggerated. As to why, there's no tellin'. Probably this system's way to have a hoot and a holler.

Ha...

Well, therein lies the issue, I suppose. Or, rather, one issue of a great many. When I reach into the darkness there is nary a soul reaching back. There is nobody to hear my words, share my feelings, or know my thoughts.

I look not through thorns but an ever-darkening veil through which no light permeates. I've looked for the light, looked for a sign there there was any value in existence. For all that I searched, I found nothing.

What I know, then, is this: To live is to suffer. Thus, to end all suffering, well...

[One must end all life. Some of the chime returns to his voice.]

Edited 2024-11-07 01:36 (UTC)

I'm not gonna say your experiences are wrong, 'cuz I'm not you and I didn't live the same life as you. But there is one thing, you are wrong about.

... And that is, I do hear you. I'm listenin' to your thoughts without judgement carryin' on me. If it's a light you are searchin' for, Honey, how about you and I look for it together?

[a small pause before she continues:]

I know you and I got off our horse the wrong way, but... I don't mind startin' our rodeo over. If you're open and willin'.

Are you... offering to be my friend?

My desire to end all life is of no concern?

It is a concern, and I would hope you'd reconsider doin' something like that. There are innocent lives, children who hadn't reached their dreams yet.

[...]

— And I would rather us not be on each other's necks if ya decide to go through with it. But... if ya let me be by your side on this, I know we can move through it together. We can find that light and hope you're lookin' for. Just try one more time for me. Whaddya got to lose, right?

Edited 2024-11-07 02:57 (UTC)

My such sincerity!

[He hadn't been prepared for it. He'd hoped for rage and righteous indignation; hostile emotions he could have some fun with. Maybe extreme sorrow, even.]

And here I was thinking that my confession about yearning to destroy the world would end any chances at friendship we might have.

[A pause, and he says airily...]

I accept your offer. I am most curious about where things shall go from here.

Well, I'm hopin' it'll go somewhere that won't end up on ya destroyin' the world. I think you'd be much happier havin' a full belly of gumbo or chicken and dumplings.

I'd get in line, but don't I unload on you enough already?

Hey now, don't be a goof. Ya know I'm always here to listen to my good ol' buddy Morph. So, tell me about your day, Sugah. — What highlight is stickin' out the most for ya?

It's not my day that's bothering me. There's... something that's been on my mind for a while.

Instead of me trying to explain, could you take a listen to this?

[Morph sends her a link of a voice conversation from from about a month ago along with the message.]

Alright, I'll call ya right back after I listen to it.

[so she hangs up for a second to go listen, because no one has taught her how to stay on the line by pressing the mute button to hear the recording, then unmute. maybe some day, someone will teach her that. but... her heart is shattering into pieces just by listening to this conversation. immortality isn't something new, but... it's still not an easy subject.]

[so she calls right back as promised, and no needing to announce herself that it's her calling.]

Okay, I listened to it. [a pause.] — Tell me what you're thinkin'.

It's - without proof it's just a theory, right? But that means there's no good way of testing it without waiting a decade or two to see if I slow down along with everyone else. I'm thinking that Hank must've known about it and didn't want to freak me out.

I never wanted anything like this. And looking at the people I know who've lived past a normal human lifespan? They're all lonely and miserable. Logan's gone through years of abuse from people in power, and Nurarihyon is so jaded I couldn't get through to him.

Edited 2024-11-07 16:24 (UTC)

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