video; un:curtaincall

[endcaller]

[The feed opens with a view of a metallic ceiling illuminated by blue light as the tablet is moved around; followed by the pale face of a man in a hood. The movement suggests he is crouching down to set the tablet against something. Once it is in place, apparently on the floor but propped up, he walks forward a few paces and settles himself against a wall lined with neon lights. Despite their glare, he doesn't cast a shadow.]

Good morrow to you, my dearest fellow Chosen!

On a scale from one to ten, one being "abysmal" and ten being "I've had better", how has your week been?

[A thin, joyless smile creeps across his lips as he tilts his head.]

Mine has been filled with peril and adventure! Some of you may know that we are not the only civilization on this star. There are others.

I traveled to the nearest settlement, Rumpitur, to see with my own eyes whether these... "glitches" as we've been calling them plagued them as well. Alas, I was not able to observe much. Whenever I passed the town's borders my being was warped back to the outside. At times I was warped quite far.

I did, eventually, decide to speak with the guards but--

[There is a sharp crash of thunder from nearby, the suddenness makes him wince. After a moment of concerned silence, he stands up, smooths his hands down his robe, and walks away. For several seconds the camera shows the blank floor of an empty room, and then a small, square robot whirs into frame. Some might recognize it as a welcome robot.

Its screen lights up with text, each line appearing within a few seconds of each other.

HELLO, CHOSEN.

MASTER HAS BEEN SAD.

WHEN HE COMES BACK...

WISH HIM A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

There are footsteps and Fandaniel's throaty lilt breaks the silence.]

I believe I just saw the ground outside boil, freeze, and sublimate all at once. Marvelous!

[His boots step into view in front of the robot.]

Hyperetes, what are you telling people?

[The robot beeps.]

I see, how terribly inappropriate. Thank you.

[Hyperetes wheels away as Fandaniel sits himself back down.]

Now, where was I before I so rudely interrupted myself?

Ah! Yes, the snake folk.

Well, my conversation with the guards was not illuminating so much as mortifying. If I attempted to broach any topic of substance they...

[How can he even explain it? He waves a hand in the air and giggles.]

This entire world is coming apart at the seams. Truly, it feels as though the Final Days are upon us. We're all going to die screaming.

[This observation doesn't seem to bother him much.]

Comments

audio; un: dawnlord

[cartridgerefill]

So many things to cover, so little time. I suppose I'll just have to be thorough.

First of all: a very Happy Birthday to you, Fandaniel. My skills at baking are much improved should you desire to celebrate in some capacity despite current affairs. Or perhaps after it has been dealt with?

Secondly: if it appears the world is coming apart, then surely there must be methods to fix it. Yet, I would daresay you have no fear of it. Might I inquire upon this further, my friend?

Last: Your robot aide is quite adorable.

[endcaller]

Inquire away, and do so with the knowledge that 'tis not my birthday...

At least not as far as I know.

I am not sure what Hyperetes is on about.

[cartridgerefill]

A shame. Well, I could make a cake anyway.

What is the Final Days, as you put it? It seems like a specific term.

un: lcbdante

[followyourstar]

First and second... By your scale I'd put it at around a 15. I've had better, but I've had worse. Also, Happy Birthday?

[Now the question: how do they word their questions when this guys seems plenty happy to watch the world keep falling apart?]

Is that the only piece of information you were able to get from them?

I'd also appreciate any information on this other city if that's all right. That's a first for me.

voice;

[endcaller]

Rumpitur is a city of serpents. Unfortunately, I am a recent arrival so I cannot say who they were before this...madness started.

I could not enter the town as a glitch always moved me. The guards were pleasant enough but if I attempted to ask them about anything much deeper than the weather they would...Hm, how to put it?

Their mouths opened, and a hideous, keening chord emanated from their throats. 'Twas not a natural sound. It sounded more like a broken machine.

I do apologize that I cannot give you more information. I suppose the point of my tale is that the glitches do not affect Aldrip alone. I fear the entire star is in peril.

[followyourstar]

It's fine. Where I come from, there was only one City, so hearing another one was around here came as a surprise.

...By the way, you don't seem bothered by everyone dying. Should I take that to mean you don't plan to stop this at all?

( TEXT ) un: sephiroth

[aonibi]

Happy birthday.

[ then, about thirty seconds later: ] You don't seem unhappy about that?

voice;

[endcaller]

[A rustling of fabric and chains, then...]

I don't seem unhappy about it being my birthday?

[aonibi]

Pardon, I meant the screaming deaths. I'm not good with transitions.

I think you're meant to be happy about your birthday.

video. @wild.flower

[hasitsthorns]

Aw, man.

I just got here! I don't want to die screaming. ... Again.

[ Had she been screaming when she fell? It's hard to remember, actually, and she doesn't want to think too hard about that moment.

Probably. Most people that fall off skyscrapers scream, if going by the movies. ]

[endcaller]

[He tilts his head.]

Why, Rosie, I had no idea you'd died.

text; un: BOMBSHELL

[opheliac]

happy birthday, fanny! ure now an old guy. want me to make u a cane?

voice;

[endcaller]

It is not--

[A world weary sigh. He'll just lean into it.]

Why, yes, I would love a cane to help these rickety old knees of mine.

Text; un: eyeofzaun

[conflictresolution]

It is a shame about Rumpitur and its populous, though not unexpected given the current climate. They were always a relatively primitive people like the rest of the natives when I arrived.

Did you investigate Ketsora as well?

voice;

[endcaller]

That is the city of birdfolk, yes?

I have not yet traveled there, though I suspect the results would be much the same. Perhaps not with the chatter of the guards, however. 'Tis my understanding that they mistrust us at the best of times.

voice

[ashesofkatarr]

You speak as though you have seen the death of a planet already.

voice

[endcaller]

[A gasp]

Does it?

Well, I suppose that's because I have.

text; un: goo

[mightymorphin]

happy birthday Dan!

I know it's a stressful time right now, but maybe try to relax with the whole 'we're going to die' thing? there's a lot of talented people here, all we really need is a good plan of action.

voice;

[endcaller]

We may need to accept that our best-laid plans might be for naught.

video; un: ushiromiya

[entreats]

For a moment I thought you were talking about that other city. You know, the one near there with the walls around it? They were trying really hard to keep us out of there last time we came anywhere near it. [ .. gosh, that really had been a long while ago now, huh, Ange suddenly thinks. That's back when this place was still medieval. ]

I wonder if that city already didn't exist even back then, and now it has spread to Rumpitur as well.

video;

[endcaller]

You speak of Ketsora. I did not travel there, though if my admittedly unproven theory holds correct my experience would have been much the same...

Except for the guards, I suppose. They would sooner fill me with arrows than converse with me.

Rude!

[His eyes drift shut and he rubs his chin.]

...Their presence makes me think the city was truly there at one time. Or at least that something was. Even if there was never a settlement beyond those walls, the guards were fiercely protective, yes?

[Then his eyes open and he adds...]

Or do you suggest that they were never keeping us out but something else in?

text; un: abeno

[foxphorus]

Was nothing amiss with the city's borders aside from the unhelpful guards?

voice;

[endcaller]

Well. As I said whenever I passed the border I was immediately moved elsewhere.

I would consider that unusual, wouldn't you?

[Unusual and no doubt part of the glitch storm ravaging the world... But an ingenious method of defense if done on purpose.]

text | un:ryojikun

[luneminary]

[Normally he'd be in the mood to comment on Fandaniel's usual brand of nihilism, but this time...]

You don't sound like you're planning on screaming.

voice;

[endcaller]

Most people do not plan on screaming. Such things simply happen.