video; un: fuckshirt

[coolerjunpei]

[Hey gang, it's Junpei, filming in vertical because he's a terrible millennial. He's at the inn, sitting at a table with a stupid-looking projector which he drums his fingers on occasionally.]

Uh, hey, soooo... that shit all sucked, huh? Yeah. Really did not expect "kill everyone now because I, the mysterious mastermind, said so" would happen a third time.

[To him, personally. He's too new to know if that happened a bunch of times previously here in Aldrip, so that's a Junpei Original as far as he knows. He's including Gnos infection as A Mastermind, it makes sense to him.]

Anyway, whatever, right? Look, I borrowed— this thing, [shakycams down to the projector, whoaoaoao] and it's kind of my birthday this week, so y'know, calling all people who said they wanted to watch some shitty movies...? And good movies, too, I guess.

[A beat.]

I mean, I just thought that movie night thing could be... fun. After the bullshit. If anybody wants to come watch some stuff, in a park or something? Like a drive-in! Get a bunch of snacks and hang out.

...Also, I need someone to help me hang up a sheet.

[He will be watching movies in the park by himself if he must!!]

Comments

[opheliac]

Alright! If I don't answer, my username is Bombshell. Be sure to contact me, okay?

[coolerjunpei]

Yeah, yeah, I'll put your name in my top five. I'll even put a star next to it.

[opheliac]

Put me number one and you have a deal.

[coolerjunpei]

I can give you number three.

[opheliac]

Why can't I be the number one? — Who is it, huh? I bet it's some loser who doesn't know how to fight or know how to jump from building to building.

[coolerjunpei]

Well, uh... It's a highly coveted position! I've got to keep my options open.

[opheliac]

But you're talking to a scientist, an engineer, an inventor, and a genius. I'm a prodigy where I'm from...! — They don't call me,"Demolition Diva" for nothing, y'know.

[ she huffs on the other side of the line, and maybe he can ever hear her flopping onto a mattress or something in a typical whiny teenager fashion. ]

[coolerjunpei]

Still, I can't just let anybody be number one. What do you invent?

[opheliac]

But I'm not anybody. I can invent whatever you want me to invent. All of my weapons were made by yours truly. Even my Fishbones, the rocket launcher...!

[coolerjunpei]

I don't need any weapons, though. I don't even know how to fire a gun.

[opheliac]

Firing a gun is easy, a baby can do it! If you make me number one, I can teach you. Because trust me, Skippy, you're gonna need it.

[coolerjunpei]

For what? How often are we actually trying to kill each other around here?

[opheliac]

♪ Oooh ho ho ho ♪ — You've got to get out more, Bonehead! People around here die all the time. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

This is prison, y'know. No matter how much you paint it up to make it look all fancy-schmancy. Prison rules are still prison rules.

[coolerjunpei]

Well yeah, enough of us have to be scumbags, statistically. But I mean— like it was the other week, where everyone got fucked up with "roles," like it was a game. How often do we do that around here?

[opheliac]

Guess you better mess around and find out, huh? — Anyway, call me when you get the movie stuff set up. Remember!! Put me at number one, see ya, see ya, buh-bye, don't die!