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[heartstopping]

[Rolo has not been having a good time since everyone's memories came back. He's mostly dealt with this by staying home curled up in bed and ignoring the network completely, but after a few days he's finally desperate enough to pull the network device thing back out.]

Is there anything like a therapist in this city?

[He's not even thinking about shit like going anon right now. That would probably be a bad sign, if his standard preference for anonymity didn't necessarily preclude people knowing about said preference.]

Comments

[heartstopping]

I don't think it's that impossible. Isn't the whole point of all this supposed to be rehabilitation or something?

[murderingjustice]

that's exactly why.

why would they provide us services that would do the work for us.

although, i personally don't believe in the rehabilitation bullshit narrative.

[heartstopping]

By that logic, why would they do the sentencings instead of just expecting everyone to "atone" or whatever on their own?

[murderingjustice]

that's because the system is flawed. this place is not interested in genuine atonement or rehabilitation. only in performance.

[heartstopping]

[Maybe he'd otherwise have been curious enough to pursue this debate further, but his head is killing him and all this is based in the half of his memories he wishes he could still believe were fake anyway. So he drops it.]

If you say so. But that doesn't mean there can't possibly be someone brought here like us with that kind of training.

[murderingjustice]

[boo! he likes to argue!!

and you'd be prepared to trust them to respect the ethical code for their profession?

[heartstopping]

I'm willing to try anything right now.

[murderingjustice]

in that case my personal suggestion is to work through your own issues by yourself, without endangering yourself to other people's influence.

[heartstopping]

I've been working on that for almost a week. I can at least tell when I'm out of my depth.

[murderingjustice]

and just how do you think talking to a stranger would help you with that?

[heartstopping]

I don't know. That's why I'm looking for a professional instead of talking to just any random stranger.

[murderingjustice]

in that case i can only wish you luck with your personal odyssey. just don't be too trusting of those who calls themselves a "professional".

[heartstopping]

So far it doesn't seem like anyone's calling themselves that, so you've got nothing to worry about.

[murderingjustice]

fear not. whether you decide to entrust your sob story in the hands of total stranger who just happens to call themselves a professional is no skin off my back.

but if you are looking for alternative solutions i still suggest you to work it through yourself and find the meaning you need, without depending on someone else's guidance. i also saw that someone mentioned masturbation. that, too, is known method to relieve stress and anxiety.

[heartstopping]

[ oh my fucking god ]

Can everyone stop suggesting that??

[He's never been particularly shy about this subject before, but all this is starting to make his face heat. Or maybe that's just coming the other set of memories he's got where he wasn't an aloof, pragmatic killer and had a normal teen boy's sense of embarrassment about these things.]

[murderingjustice]

[Honestly, Akechi can sympathize with him. Seeing that he's often more than not subjected to the same kind of teasing.

which of course means he's enjoying this.]

you were the desperate one and ready to try out about anything at this point, weren't you.

[heartstopping]

[ asshole ]

I'm willing to try solutions, not distractions.

[murderingjustice]

[yours truly,]


of course. but what would this "fix" entail to you.

[heartstopping]

If I knew that then I wouldn't need a professional.

[murderingjustice]

[wow. so he's a brat]

i see. so you're expecting this "professional" just snap their fingers and fix you.

[heartstopping]

[ yeah... ]

I don't think it'd be that easy, but I'd expect them to know how to deal with it better than I do.

[murderingjustice]

no, it seems like you want it to be just that easy.

you don't know what the fix is that you're looking for aside that you want it. so far you're being nothing but reluctant to put in the work yourself and figure what your deal is or take accountability.

[heartstopping]

Take accountability for what? I didn't do this to myself.

[Maybe he liked part of what came of it, but would he have chosen to be in this state? Twisted up inside, doubting everything, unable to even be useful or completely trust in the one person he wanted to? Hell no.]

[murderingjustice]

accountability to put on the work to better yourself and 'fix', these issues you're facing.

i suppose you do deserve some credit for trying to take the first step and seek solution, as foolish yours might be. but aside from that you have not done anything else but whined for someone else to deal with your baggage.

[heartstopping]

You have no idea what I've been doing offline, and all you've done is complain and dismiss ideas without offering any actual alternatives. And no, "figure it out yourself" and "masturbate" isn't good advice.