text

[heartstopping]

[Rolo has not been having a good time since everyone's memories came back. He's mostly dealt with this by staying home curled up in bed and ignoring the network completely, but after a few days he's finally desperate enough to pull the network device thing back out.]

Is there anything like a therapist in this city?

[He's not even thinking about shit like going anon right now. That would probably be a bad sign, if his standard preference for anonymity didn't necessarily preclude people knowing about said preference.]

Comments

text, private

[heartstopping]

[Well, he'd be a hypocrite if he took issue with private messages from anonymous strangers.]

"Adjusting" doesn't feel like the right word for it. How am I supposed to adjust if I don't know what to believe?

[driving_from_the_backseat]

How are you trying to decide what to believe?

[heartstopping]

It's complicated.

[And he doesn't want to actually say how much of that complication is based entirely on feelings and wanting to believe the best of someone. That'd make it feel so stupid and irrational, and he's supposed to be efficient and pragmatic.]

[driving_from_the_backseat]

For me, one life makes more sense, but the other feels right for some reason. There might be parts of one life that you can prove to yourself. [They know they can shapeshift because they tried it. While that version of them has other abilities that they do not seem to have, there is something tying them to it.]

[heartstopping]

That's the easy part.

[driving_from_the_backseat]

What is the hard part?

[heartstopping]

[Eughhh. He doesn't want to say it. Only the fact that this conversation is private tips him over the edge.]

I don't want that to be the real one.

[driving_from_the_backseat]

What will you do if it is?

[heartstopping]

What can I do?

[driving_from_the_backseat]

You can attempt to change or process the parts that you dislike.

[heartstopping]

And what if they're parts I can't change?

[driving_from_the_backseat]

You can process them, or learn to live with them. [Avalon is very much a hypocrite for saying that. While their life as a killer fits with what they have discovered about their current self, the emptiness that they felt in that life is not something that they want to be real.]

[heartstopping]

[Mood.]

I'm trying. It's not that easy.

[driving_from_the_backseat]

[I could kill you with that if I knew more, they think. The version of them that seems more real would try.]

There might be a mental health center now. I have no idea. I have spent the last several days resting.

[heartstopping]

I haven't gone out at all either.

["Resting" seems too respectful a way to put it, though. He was definitely just curled up in bed shutting out the world.]

[driving_from_the_backseat]

Do you want to?