expiationnet

Hiiiiya ! I’m so glad to see those of you I do know and very pleased to meet those of you I don’t.
You, the “Chosen.” I think I’ll give you something to think about. Actually it's a concept that I’ve agonized over for a while!

[ The figure front row and centre chirps from the close proximity to the screen. Strange backdrop for those who won't immediately connect the dots. The skeleton scene of An Attempt(TM) for a birthday just barely viewable over his shoulder. As he leans back from the camera again there's evidence that he's put it together mockingly, perhaps even a little contemptuously going by how many things are askew. It's a red herring, unless...?

At any rate there's no mention whatsoever who it's for—Gogol did say there was something more important on his mind. So he gets right to chattering. ]

Does a devastating control over our lives make a God? And well, I'll also share what I recently realized about that too. At a certain point it doesn’t matter what you call it— because the end result is the same.

Having my existence rewritten against my will makes me want to rebel as much as possible.

[ There's a loud cacophonous sound as he reaches over to grab a balloon and pop it with a needle. After that there hangs a heavy silence ]

Well then, the broadcast ends here.

[ and it does! ]

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[ Is this where Ange learns that while Gogol does have a brain that's capable of advanced strategic thought it's also borked so bad and worse yet: fickle? At any rate he actually does like the kid well enough, thinks she's particularly intelligent, so he offers up something closer to the truth than what some others got. ]

Other than what I've already said?

[ ...about resisting the will of "god." ]

I'm getting their attention. I've got questions!

.. getting their attention isn't always a good thing.

[ There's a lot going unsaid here. It mostly shows in the way the girl's tone dips when she says those words. It's not a huge change, since Ange is still doing her darnest to keep any emotion other than sligth annoyance out of her tone, but the dip does imply there's a little bit more there. That she isn't just saying those words randomly.

(That maybe she's worried about what the consequences of this could be for him too, instead of just for all of them as a whole.)

Of course Ange isn't going to explicitly say that though. In fact, she doesn't even linger on those words, before - god forbid - he might point out the part she isn't saying out loud. Ange is already speaking on. ]

This better be worth it in the end. That's what I'm saying. [ C-Clearly nothing else! ] If this doesn't help us get even a slight step closer to figuring out this place or going back to where we came from, I'll never forgive you.

[ Not that the last part is said with any real intensity.. It's likely not a threat Ange necessarily intends to carry out. ]

[ Well of course he's going to prod at it because unfortunately he has a totally intact understanding of emotions and emotional attachment and do you know what that means? He gotta. The pitch of his voice goes comically whiny in the moment. ]

Eh~~ are you worried? Taking that into consideration now is really troublesome for me! What ever should I do~~~

[ In the end that's really tragic when his goal has always been to extricate himself from his humanity. His sisyphean task. ]

Just kidding! I don't care much either. So it would be better if you didn't think about it at all. Close those eyes of yours until it's all over.

[ You know what? It actually feels easier that he adds that second part of his message. The first part would just have forced Ange to make some sort of flustered response, but that fluster doesn't emerge as hard when she thinks about what follows.

At worst there's a bit more of a pout in her usual deadpan as she points out: ]

Yeah, because that's a thing humans can do. Just force themselves to not think about something. [ Dryly. ] Have you never heard of the white bear problem?

[ Nerd. ]

Truthfully you are correct. That's why it takes so much to be perfectly free from "feeling."

[ Even if it's entirely possible that he knows the concept already-- ]

...What is the white bear problem? You should spell it out.

[ --he's going to make her explain it in her own words. Nerd. ]

I can't tell if you've just never heard of it because you're weird, or if you're just making me repeat it to see if I truly know about it.

[ The 'weird' doesn't even sound like a direct insult, since Ange says it so flatly. Like she just considers it an objective fact of reality about him.

Besides, despite that protest to the idea of having to explain, she speaks on anyway. ]

It's an experiment where one group of people was asked to think of a white bear, while the other group was asked to not think of a white bear, and then they had to ring a bell every time they thought of one. Turns out that the group told to not think of the white bear though about it way more often than those who had to think about it. Proving that human brains suck. [ .. okay, maybe that very last part is just some Personal Ange Interpretation. ]

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