expiationnet | audio;

[Look, it's not because of his sentencing that he's making a message like this; he's been meaning to apologize to everyone that he hurt last month. Stupid Jerry and the stupid council had kicked him to high gear, but he definitely doesn't feel forced talking like this. Just. A little anxious and shit, because who wouldn't be?

Maybe it would be better if he just personally reached out to those that were affected, but honestly, some memories around that time are foggy. Kind of happens when you have a splitting headache from your powers while dealing with anger caused by corruption.]

Hey, uh, in case you didn't know, I was the one that destroyed the club building. [Kotone didn't mention it in her broadcast, because she's that kind of person, but he'll own up to it.] Thanks for everyone that's helping out with that, by the way. I'm gonna be working on rebuilding too. Can't have TWAT club without the building, right?

[Ha ha......]

Just wanted to also apologize for everything. Especially if I hurt you, I... I don't remember some of it, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen and shit. So, uh.

[.....]

Just wanted to say that.

[SMOOTH AF. Just going to end the feed now.]

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[It's encouraging to hear from Caitlyn, although he can't but feel glad that he didn't bump into her last month. She didn't have to deal with his shit.]

I still hurt my friends with my powers. It's just really stupid luck that no one actually died. [He's pretty sure about that, at least.]

[She had to deal with Vi's shit, so that was more than plenty.]

Luck, or a part of yourself still in control? [just a thought.]

I know you've been here long enough to realize everything about this place is practically designed to drag us down and break us. This corruption is just another in a long list of things to make us feel guilty, when it's all been out of our control. I know you don't blame you friends for anything they did while affected, so don't judge yourself so harshly.

[She's one to talk. She still feels guilty about what her sentencing quest was. At least Marianne was more than forgiving about it.]

Pretty sure it was luck.

[He's snippy, some of that old anger that he was pretty well-known for returning temporarily. Before last month, he was doing a lot better with his powers, accepting them and everything, but all this has definitely set him back a little. Losing control that badly, hurting his friends, causing a lot of destruction in a short amount of time...]

It's different with them. At least they can normally control their powers.

[Caitlyn can hear the tone chance in his voice, and she feels a pang of guilt. Of course she won't be able to talk him through this. Of course his guilt is far more than she can understand. Even though he's helped her come to grasp with her new powers, she can control hers and he still can't control his own.]

That's still not your fault, Scott. Control or not, your actions were not your own. You wouldn't have done what you did if you were yourself.

[Scott knows he'd probably be saying the same exact thing as Caitlyn if he was in her shoes, but he finds himself upset and argumentative anyway--]

Name anyone else that caused the same amount of destruction as I did. Maybe some of that was actually me.

[It's frustrating to see him like this, but she knows he can't help it. This is a bit out of her league. How can she help him when he's not entirely wrong? But that still didn't make it his fault.]

You should've seen what Vi did to our house. [Even if it was mainly because Vander's gauntlets decided to make an appearance, but it was still mostly because of her corruption too.]

That aside, it wasn't her fault either. Both of you were corrupted.

[He bites back his response that Vi can at least control her punches most of the time. Yeah, he has his glasses, but it only takes someone just knocking them off his face before his powers burst from his eyes. It's only through some stupid luck probably that it hasn't happened to him yet. Well, it did happen in the desert, isn't that how he met her in the first place??

Scott glumly stares at his tablet for a few prolonged seconds, not answering Caitlyn for a moment.]

I just. Hate feeling like this, Caitlyn. I've trained in the past, but I still can't control them.

[The delay in response says a lot to Caitlyn, even if he doesn't realize it. But his words finally come across her screen, it just makes her sad.

It's not fair to him, that his power is so wild and uncontrollable. It makes her thinks of all the stories she's heard about magic back home-- how dangerous it was. How unpredictable and harmful it could be, even in the hands of someone that knew what they were doing. It was why Jayce got into so much trouble with his first Hextech experiments. Even with something relatively safe as his Hextech, it was still so dangerous. It was a wonder the two of them weren't killed in the explosion that day.]

I know. I wish I knew a way to help you. I can only imagine how terrifying it is to live with a power like that. But you're still young. And you have such a good heart. You'll get it, Scott. I believe in you.

[A part of him still wants to brush away her kind words of support, but that earlier anger has mostly simmered down. It helps that she really means all this, that she really believes in him, even if sort of makes him stressed out in a way too.]

What if I can't? Would you still support me then?

[Good, he's calming, at least somewhat. Caitlyn hates seeing him like this, and being helpless to fix the problems he's facing.]

Of course I would. You're my friend.

[That's a no brainer. Even when Jayce screwed up, she tried to support him. If she had been older, she probably would have fought against her parents more over it, too. She fought for Vi against the Council. When she cares, she doesn't run away.]

[Oh no, having a couple of feelings now. Without the anger, he feels just a bit more touched by her words, breaking through some of his doubts and glum. ...Yeah, she would still stay by him, huh? She's done so in the past.

He swallows down his rush of emotions, before finally responding.]

...Thanks.

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