(sorta, kinda. they truly do like each other, but are disgusted by it at the same time. a soul that has been separated, humanity a link. dazai's own lack of, and chuuya's abundance, and the paradox that their relationship is.)

I've told you, nothing really is. It is what it is. Anything I would never want to lose is always lost. It is a given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it, theeeeerefore, there’s nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering. I don't like pain. That said, I won't remember when I return. I won't lose something I have never had, so I'll let myself see a little. Besides, I've fucked him over way too many times, and I've abandoned him too many times, too. It seems to me that my ghosting and disappearing act hardly works anymore.