ange "the definition of chuunibyou" ushiromiya (
entreats) wrote in
expiationnet2023-06-20 09:28 pm
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voice;
So, can the witch in charge come out yet?
[ It's a simple statement, and for a moment it does sound like the message might just cut off there. Just that one flat statement, seemingly devoid of any emotion aside from a vague hint of annoyance.
But then there's a sound that's faintly like a step, then a grumble, and then the message continues anyway. Still mostly deadpan, but a little more annoyed this time. ]
Sure, I get it. The whole crime and punishment theming? Very cute. Maybe start using that talent to build an amusement park or something more productive next time, if this sort of thing is your hobby. Either way, it's really not done to let yourself be heard on the way in, and then just act like you're not there.
[ A slight pause-- and then a sigh. ]
Just tell me someone can point me to the witch. I really don't have time to be beating around the bush.
[ It's a simple statement, and for a moment it does sound like the message might just cut off there. Just that one flat statement, seemingly devoid of any emotion aside from a vague hint of annoyance.
But then there's a sound that's faintly like a step, then a grumble, and then the message continues anyway. Still mostly deadpan, but a little more annoyed this time. ]
Sure, I get it. The whole crime and punishment theming? Very cute. Maybe start using that talent to build an amusement park or something more productive next time, if this sort of thing is your hobby. Either way, it's really not done to let yourself be heard on the way in, and then just act like you're not there.
[ A slight pause-- and then a sigh. ]
Just tell me someone can point me to the witch. I really don't have time to be beating around the bush.
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It's... not exactly me that transforms, I guess I should say. Just my arm. I'm still not entirely sure what all it can do.
But I know it can move faster than I can even see. And it's strong. Maybe not strong enough to take on a witch fully, but..... I'd be willing to try if I had to.
( It's an absolutely terrifying thought, facing something like that... but he'll do it. )
To begin with, maybe I could just help learn some things about them, though. This... witch, if that's what's going on. See if they have any weaknesses....?
( That's... thinking like Migi would, which is weird and he can't dwell on it for too long! )
And you must know a lot about witches....! I could help you.
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[ Even though the story sounds absolutely wild - but then again, maybe not wilder than anything that has happened to Ange back home recently, or any wilder than any of them being here in the first place is..
At least the situation is serious enough that she's willing to skip any jokes about his arm having a mind of his own, horror movie-style. Godzilla jokes is apparently the only acceptable thing before she draws the line.
But-- no, there's something else entirely on Ange's mind. The girl sounds a touch guarded, the reason for it becoming rapidly obvious when she speaks on. ]
What would you be getting out of it..? Why are you being so helpful?
[ Does he truly trust her ideas that much? Despite her being a total stranger? That thought sounds doubtful to Ange, considering her own past experiences. ]
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But there's something that drives him even through those things, and it's the boy's unrelenting altruism. Migi would say it's foolish, and maybe it is, but.... )
If something bad brought all of us here, like a witch.... it seems inevitable that it'll try to hurt people. I mean, it definitely has some kind of... agenda, with these crimes it's accusing people of....
...I can't let people get hurt. If there's some way I can help protect others, I have to do it. So I'll do whatever it takes.
( He pauses, adding on another thought, quietly. )
I have people I have to protect back home, too. So maybe.... if we can defeat this thing, and make sure everyone's going to be safe here, then we can go back.
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It leaves Ange quiet for a moment, pondering this answer. Considering how little she knows about anyone here, or the sort of people this world draws in, it's very hard to tell if he's lying about all this or not.
.. on the other hand, she also figures it probably can't hurt to give him information here. The worst case scenario is just her wasting her time, right? The best case scenario is him actually helping with what he can do to get them out of here. ]
Sure.
[ Maybe an answer that's a little too casual in the face of everything Shinichi just said, but.. well, that sure is Ange for you.. ]
In that case, I can tell you what I know about witches. [ Even if it might not end up being a witch in charge here - though Ange stil feels like it's the case - a lot of what she says probably can apply to whatever supernatural entity or entities it is instead, she bets.. ]
What do you already know about them? So I'm not wasting our time by repeating anything.
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Well... where I come from, it's mostly older generations who really believe in things like that β demons, monsters, things that might get called a witch because they harm people with magic. There are different types depending on the story... ones like hags, or ones that have to do with animals.
I've never heard of any of them being able to transport people to other worlds, though.... mostly they'd directly harm people, even kill them.
Where you're from.... do witches ever do that? ( She said they'd be messing with people, so he isn't sure how far that might go. It's all definitely horrifying no matter what. )
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[ It's probably not the thing that should be answered with a simple 'yeah', like he was asking her a way lighter question.. but it's Ange's answer all the same. Witches doing that sort of thing has grown commonplace to her very quickly, after all. ]
It sounds like our worlds aren't so dissimilar in the sense that witches are generally known that kind of way where I come from too. Most people don't even know they exist. [ Ange just happens to be the unfortunate one who had that knowledge slam into her like a car in a traffic accident.. ] Usually you don't know that witches exist where I come from unless you're already getting messed with by one. 'Being messed with' in that context can involve a whole lot of things, from being forced to play a game with them all the way up to torture and murder.
[ There's at least.. something in Ange's voice as she speaks of it. It's mostly still flat, too serious, but.. there's a hint of something tighter, almost annoyed, though it doesn't seem to be aimed at Shinichi. ]
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Aren't the alien parasites the same way...? He only knows about it by sheer accident. But he may be the only single person who does.... Who's to say that other horrifying things aren't in his world, too?
He's quiet for a long few moments as the girl mentions murder... torture. He's not one to get into people's personal business, but... he can't help wondering. Just what kind of experience this girl has, if she knows about these things... What might've happened to her? ]
....I'm sorry. It sounds like... like you've known some horrifying things. [ Empathy leaks through, heavy in his voice. ]
I know kind of... what it's like. A little differently, but.... the alien I mentioned...? There's more, in my world. And they.... do horrible things to people. Kill them. Eat them. Experiment on them.
It isn't fair that something like that can just hurt normal humans so easily, and those humans can't even fight back...
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It's not often that she's ever gotten sympathy, after all, and here this guy is throwing it at her without her even asking for it. It's.. strange. Not necessarily in a bad way, but in a way that almost feels uncomfortable with her own lack of experience. She doesn't know how to react to it.
So she doesn't, instead quietly tucking the words away into a corner of her mind. ]
.. you know about the way things work in the world, right? [ She instead says, yet there's something a little off about her tone. Nothing too big, but it's like it's a little softer now, like her mind is still dealing with the first part of what he said, even when she's addressing everything that came afterwards. ] Like with animals in nature. Stronger animals eat the weaker ones. Or even in society. People with more money and power abuse those who have less of either of those things.
[ Not that she's saying they're good, mind you. It's just-- ]
Those supernatural beings like witches or aliens are the same. The people who have more power will always try to crush those who have less power.
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....Which is a disconcerting thought, especially to hear a fellow person say it instead of an emotionless alien, but..... Shinichi knows there's truth to it. He offers a soft sigh, thoughtful, and a little sad. He doesn't like admitting to this. It's something he and Migi have butted heads about for a long time, but ultimately.... ]
You're... you're right. It is like animals. Beings like that.... they don't even see humans as equal, so why would they treat them that way, right....?
[ The gloom in his voice thickens a bit. He's certainly not over here giving some amped up, inspirational speech, no, he just sounds really sad..... But it's horrible. It's so horrible what's happening back home that sometimes he can't even believe it. Feels it happening to someone else, like he's not in his body anymore.
But it's clearly happening other places, too. Whatever's brought them here... it is toying with them. These accused crimes, these upsets... making them bend to its will. ]
But... that's why us humans have to fight so hard to protect each other. Maybe we are weaker, and less compared to them, but... Until I can get back home and protect the humans there, I'll do everything I can to protect the ones here...
I think that's what separates us from animals, and beings like that. They won't do anything unless it serves a purpose to them, but for us.... We can. We can choose to.
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[ There's a soft hum, but it doesn't necessarily sound affirmative. After all, there's a lot Ange could say here, but that she's choosing to keep to herself.
She knows that humans aren't like that. That it isn't what separates them from animals. Sure, maybe it does for some humans, but she knows that humans can be just as ugly as any predator animal, as any witch, as any other supernatural being. She thinks about aunt Rosa, about aunt Kasumi, and her stomach fully turns by the time she thinks about aunt Eva.
It's fine. If this guy can still believe in people in such a pure way, then-- maybe she should just let him for now. He'll have to find out about the truth the hard way eventually. ]
.. then you understand why you should be careful around these witches, if there are any here. [ Instead she brings it back to this, something that feels like they can at least tread on common ground about. More practical than having to think back on just how shitty people can be, more than getting all nauseous about that. ] They wouldn't hesitate to hurt or kill you. To them.. well, you'd be little more than a toy. That's the exact same way they treated me.
[ Not that she's saying it to garner sympathy. Her tone is still the same, after all. It's just-- proof. Evidence that she knows what she's talking about here, gained through experience. ]
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....Through there's the nagging thought deep in his mind, the thing he can't shake. What he learned shortly before he was brought here. That he's no longer a... "pure" human? Whatever that means???? (Does it mean he could be dangerous to the people here? Will he start seeing them like food if his body gets hungry enough? If he starts perceiving this situation as dangerous, and instinct takes over to do anything to survive, the way Migi's kind function?)
He can't let any of that happen. He has to try to help before he can become something that hurts, instead. ]
...I'm so sorry that happened to you. [ He says again, genuinely sounding upset about it. (Sorry Ange, he's.. a bleeding heart....) ] Were you... on your own? Was there anyone with you, to help you?
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[ There's a weird inflection at the end of that word though. That period is almost more like a question mark in sound - not because the question is hard to answer for Ange (look, she's not going to count Amakusa or Featherine as help when both of them only make things worse in their own ways), but because she really isn't sure of something else here.
Something she actually does voice a moment later. ]
There was no one. Why are you asking?
[ The question could have been defensive in other circumstances. Ange doesn't trust easily, after all, and she usually can't help but feel there's some less than pure intentions behind questions like those.
But right now it's catching her off guard in this entire situation enough that it's more a genuine question. An even slightly surprised one.
Why would this guy ask that? Is it just the same thing that drives him to so easily say he'd try to fight a witch? ]
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[ It's not something he's really ever put into words before. Not even to Migi, the only other "person" he could talk to about what was going on. The alien wouldn't understand, wouldn't... care. He doesn't comprehend things like human isolation and loneliness. ]
....it can feel completely suffocating. At least, that's how it kind of felt for me. [ He gives a soft sigh. ] So I'm sorry you were alone through it. No one deserves that.
cw: references to suicidal ideation in narration
It does feel suffocating. She knows. Ange vividly remembers standing on the edge of that rooftop, after all. She's not fully sure she's ever left that edge, even now.
She breathes in. ]
It's fine. I'm used to it. [ She's careful to keep her tone fully even again, not letting a hint of absolutely anything slip in there.
She had to be strong about this. It's the only way to get through it - especially in an unknown place like this, where she can't be sure of who she can trust.
Even this person could be lying, after all, for all she knows. ]
You just have to make it so they can't do anything that actually hurts you anymore.
[ There.. you go, Shinichi.. some free.. advice(???).. ]
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How long has this girl been dealing with such a horrible thing that she could be used to it.....?
Or maybe... part of it was intentionally done, maybe hinted at by her next words. Shinichi hesitates for just a moment before asking. ]
How do you.... do that? Make something like that happen?
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[ It's not actually that easy. Of course it isn't. No matter how much Ange pretends that she's emotionless, no matter how much she puts up a strong front - it's not like she doesn't feel anything anymore way down. It's still all there.
But she has to present it this way, just like she always has, locking the truth away in her own heart.
The advice is valid all the same, anyway. Even if you can't fully stop caring, you have to pretend like you do. It's the only way. She wouldn't be telling Shinichi this if she didn't believe in it. ]
If people or beings realise the stuff they're doing to you doesn't hurt you, they get bored and go away eventually.
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But the concept is tethered to Shinichi's worst nightmare. That he will stop caring, although not by choice. That it'll happen to him inevitably, that he'll become.... like them. Because the parasites don't care at all, don't feel emotion (or concern, or empathy, or love.....) and that makes it easy for them to function. Migi's said it several times; humans are so messy, complicated. Make things harder than they have to be.
The girl's words make him feel cold inside, and he shudders quietly to himself. He doesn't know if Migi's listening or not, but if he is... this is the first human the alien would "meet" who has said something like this. ]
....I understand what you mean. [ The boy finally voices, after that pause. ] But... if a person learns how to stop caring about things like that, isn't there a danger they might stop being able to care about other things, too...? Maybe not everyone would, but.... I'm kind of afraid to ice myself over, you know? What if I can't... unfreeze?
cw: implications of suicidal ideation in speech
But it seems that she didn't fully end the communication, since the girl does speak up again, even if it's after a few moments of complete silence. ]
I don't know.
[ Her voice isn't really harsh as she says it. Sure, there's not a ton of emotion in there either, but there's no sharp edges to her tone either.
If anything, it sounds like an honest admission. ]
I've never had anything to unfreeze for. And I probably never will. [ Not with her circumstances back home, anyway. And this place-- it's throwing a bit of a wrench into things, sure, but would there really be anything to care for here?
People have never cared about her, after all. Why would here be different? ]
I guess it's harder when you have something to live for. [ And Shinichi sounds like he does. ]
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Once again, Shinichi's finding his heart sinking. No matter that this person is a stranger to him, someone whose name he doesn't even know..... things hurt inside, for her. He's quiet for a few more long moments, thinking during that silence. Finally... ]
....Back home... because of my secret, I've had to... distance myself from my friends. My parents.
It hurts them. A lot. They... they don't understand. They just think I've changed, and...
...It is hard. I guess it might be easier in some ways if I didn't have people like that. Who... cared about me. Who were affected by me.
[ There's no part of his reply that refutes what the girl's saying. She's right, he thinks. It must be easier to freeze yourself over if you don't have anyone worth staying soft and warm for. And it makes him extremely sad to think that she doesn't. There's been no one to help her? No family? No friends? (Nothing to live for, that's the implication here in her words. It hurts a lot.) ]
But.... I know you don't know me, but I do want to say that... I appreciate you being here. Because of you, and your warning here about witches... it might help some people deal with this situation. It might even save someone's life.
So I just wanted to say that I'm glad you made this message, and I'm glad I got to speak with you.
[ It's a lot of emotion, sorry Ange.... but he's Like This. He means it sincerely, too. When it comes to matters of the heart, and human emotions... those things are extremely important to Shinichi. He holds onto them so fiercely. And she's a human, right...? She deserves to hear kindness, even if she might not be receptive to it, or feel completely alone, which sounds like it'd certainly be a valid thing for this poor girl to feel. ]
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Or - perhaps more specifically - what does Ange even say to all of this? She can at least understand that he's had a rough time too. Granted, she figured as much when he said what he was involved with, but having to distance yourself from the people you care about.. surely that hurts too, even if it's the literal opposite problem that Ange herself has. It's something she can understand by imagining it though, even if she can't from personal experience.
But replying to that would've been one thing. A little hard for Ange, so socially inexperienced, but possible.
The next part, though..
What does someone even say to that.
Ange's throat feels a little more dry all of a sudden, and she glances away from the pendant, despite the fact she can't see anything on it anyway. It feels just a little too close to having eye contact somehow, looking at it while they're talking, even if she can't see Shinichi. ]
.. well, just make sure to not get murdered by a witch, I guess.
[ Nailed it.
So eloquent.
There's something a little openly awkward in Ange's tone that she can't quite hide, like she just.. truly doesn't know what else to say here..
And if her tone isn't enough of a hint towards some social awkwardness, the next thing might be. Since Ange quickly continues - before he can speak up again - into: ]
I should go now. See if I can find out more about this place. [ ... ] Let's talk some other time, I guess.
[ EVEN ADDING THAT LAST PART.. It's so hard for her.. But she's trying..
It's not like Shinichi is unkind, after all. Far from it. But Ange doesn't know how to handle kind people when she's been stuck having to deal with jerks and assholes for years and years now. ]
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Which certainly isn't the outcome he'd want, and shyness does creep in as he realises how much he said just now, but... he wouldn't take it back. He means what he says. And it's... important, he thinks, to tell someone how you feel, even if it's difficult, even if it's someone you don't even know. She's a person, a human. That's what's important.
He can detect some of that awkwardness in the girl's reply, and gives a soft exhale, almost a little smile; not that her words are amusing, just... βhe'll try not to get murdered by any witches. He'd tell her so, but she quickly goes on to say she should leave, and Shinichi Izumi of all people knows what Quickly Trying to Leave A Conversation looks like....... So he's just as quickly agreeing, giving her the out she needs. ]
Right.....! Ahβ please take care.
[ Later, he'll realise he never even introduced himself... or got her name...... But Aldrip isn't the hugest place, he should bunp into her again, right? ]