[video]

[sincleavers]

[Alphen has to fiddle with the charm a bit -- look, tech has never been his strong point. But after the video finally starts, he flashes a quick smile before getting right to the point.]

Hi everyone. With everything that happened last month, I think it might be a good idea to start a training group for people who'd like to learn to fight, or defend themselves. As much as I'd like to hope something like that won't happen again, it's better to be prepared, right?

[A quick shrug. He's trying to keep it light, but he does have a feeling it won't be the last time something like that happens.]

Anyway, if there's enough interest, I can find a place to set something up. A weekly meet-up, maybe. And don't think this'll be only for beginners -- anyone who wants to improve their skills will be welcome.

Let me know, alright?

[Okay, so how do you end something like this? You don't sign it...right? Uh. ... He finishes the post with an awkward little wave, because he's an idiot.]

Comments

[midlifecryseas]

[ There's a pause while Blackbeard pulls a face Alphen can't see, but his tone is right there to convey that expression a moment later. ]

Okay, no. Stop. Do you even hear yourself right now? "It was pretty big"? You could be describing anything from somebody's dick to a fucking 100-gun naval warship. I need details, man. Paint us a picture.

—Oh, and you don't have to tell me about the evacuation of the town and all the weird glowing tentacles popping up out of the earth all over the place. I was here for that shit. I'm just talking about the plant monster in the woods: the source of all those glowy wiggly bits. What'd it look like up close? What'd you and all else hit it with? Details.

[sincleavers]

[Is...is he getting critique for how he described the monster? What??????]

Uh-- [help] Alright, I'll try again.

[Deep breaths. He can do this. Doesn't need to be too extra, just...somewhere between Dohalim's wordiness and Law's exuberance. Yeah. No big deal. Ahem.] It was huge-- no, giant, practically the size of a mountain, with long vines everywhere that could suck the life out of anything they touched. It almost looked like a living tree -- and it was tough, too.

[Hmm...what else...] Everyone who fought it had a different technique: I used a longsword, but while I could do damage to the vines where I could reach them, there were plenty that I just couldn't. So some people were using magic, firearms, other ranged weapons -- anything that could blast a hole in its armor. It wasn't just one hit that did it in. All those little strikes and blasts finally brought it crashing down.

[... uh] Is...that a little better?

[midlifecryseas]

Yes, that's it!

[ Blackbeard sounds way too enthused by Alphen's storytelling progress, like why is it so important to him??? ~it is a mystery~ ]

Well done, lad. A bit more practice, and there's hope for you yet.

[ But, uh, back to the actual point? Or maybe just Blackbeard mulling it through to himself. ]

So it really was just a big fucking tree that needed cutting down? Weird fucking forest, man.