[well, of course Vi doesn't get it. she hasn't gone through it as much herself.
but she's so incredibly glad that Jinx is confiding in her, anyway.
and... maybe she should be a bit vulnerable, too. maybe it'd help Jinx feel less alone.]
sometimes i see people. usually when i'm at my breaking point. i've seen mom. i've seen Vander. i've seen Caitlyn. when you showed up in my apartment, there was a minute that i didn't know if you were even real or not.
sometimes the memories of things get so overwhelming that i can't move. i can't think. all i can do is be consumed by those memories. that's why you sacrificed yourself for me. Vander was changed, and he was lying right in front of me. you were screaming at me to leave him behind and get to safety... but i couldn't.
all i could see was the first time he died. i couldn't get myself to think of anything else.
he almost attacked me, and you saved my life.
my pitfighting phase wasn't just a way to blow off steam. it was a way to punish myself.
the times that i punch things so hard and so much that my knuckles bleed, i'm punishing myself. trying to forget things. like the time you locked me in that cell, all i could think about was my regrets and my first time in jail. when Caitlyn found me, my knuckles were all fucked up.
i'm not telling you all this to guilt trip you, or anything. but i just want you to know... you're not alone. we're both kind of fucked up. but i still love you, anyways.
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but she's so incredibly glad that Jinx is confiding in her, anyway.
and... maybe she should be a bit vulnerable, too. maybe it'd help Jinx feel less alone.]
sometimes i see people. usually when i'm at my breaking point. i've seen mom. i've seen Vander. i've seen Caitlyn. when you showed up in my apartment, there was a minute that i didn't know if you were even real or not.
sometimes the memories of things get so overwhelming that i can't move. i can't think. all i can do is be consumed by those memories. that's why you sacrificed yourself for me. Vander was changed, and he was lying right in front of me. you were screaming at me to leave him behind and get to safety... but i couldn't.
all i could see was the first time he died. i couldn't get myself to think of anything else.
he almost attacked me, and you saved my life.
my pitfighting phase wasn't just a way to blow off steam. it was a way to punish myself.
the times that i punch things so hard and so much that my knuckles bleed, i'm punishing myself. trying to forget things. like the time you locked me in that cell, all i could think about was my regrets and my first time in jail. when Caitlyn found me, my knuckles were all fucked up.
i'm not telling you all this to guilt trip you, or anything. but i just want you to know... you're not alone. we're both kind of fucked up. but i still love you, anyways.