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video; un: ashiya-dono

-ing piece of... Ah! Does this work? Helloooo? Gods, I’m going to feel like such an idiot if this doesn’t-

[The video shakes and turns several times around before it finally settles. Apparently the owner put it somewhere and is inspecting it now like one would a mirror, all angry frowns, tousled purple hair and challenging red eyes that match well with the ornate red and black kariginu that the teen(?) is wearing. And is that a paw-print on his cheek? His voice is surprisingly deep though, and comes as a belligerent growl.]

Alright. This.

[He holds up a very elegant & smug looking fox by its scruff, looking disgusted.]

This poor excuse of a pest has been having a field day eating my food, stealing and burying my clothes, tracking ink over my notices and otherwise being a nuisance. So if this is anyone’s pet, I want compensation.

If it isn’t... I’m looking for a talented fur monger or tanner to turn this into an outfit for next winter. Money won’t be an issue.

[He lowers his captive.]

Second, what’s the best way of getting from place to place here? That stupid grilled chicken Suzaku dares ignore my calls, so I need to invest in a ride that’s both reliable and worthy of an imperial court noble.

Are those Choo-Bootys really better than horse- OW! You-!!

[Rule 1 when handling wild animals: don’t take your attention off of said wild animal.]

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[Fandaniel is crouched outside, a breeze trying to tug his hood down. He's somewhere high up: the roof of the inn]

I've not heard of a "choo-booty". Is that a local species?

[It takes a small while before Douman finally answers; he's looking even more ruffled now, with a couple of new scratches on his face and ...is that fur and twigs stuck in his hair? Whatever, he's a very dignified and impressive noble Noble, look how much he's not fazed at all over just losing to a ~~godsdamned~~ critter again. Which he hadn't cared all that much about anyway, not like he made this post just to ask about a tanner to get back at a 'mere' animal and only tacked on the bit about needing a ride as an afterthought.

Totally never happened, nu-uh.]

Beats me. Apparently they look like the youkai version of a chicken and are supposedly superior to horses in several ways. ....I'm trying to figure out if keeping a flesh-eating chicken is worth it.

[Nobody actually claimed that chocobos are carnivores. Douman is just assuming based on the prejudice that youkai = dangerous beasts that are better dead than alive = obviously predators.]

Has anybody ever told you that you look hella suspicious?

You would be the first.

On this star, at any rate.

Is it the hood?

[He reaches up and tugs the hood from his head, revealing bowl-cut black hair.]

There we go. Is this better?

[He tilts his head and lifts a hand, posing for the camera. He'll...circle back to the chocobo thing in a moment.]

[Star... ?]

Not really. Did you lose a bet, or did a kamikiri get the better of you?

[and this if one of the reasons why his rival is respected at court while Douman's feared: he has no time nor patience for manners]

Face's okay, I guess.

I must say, 'tis bold of you to mock my hair when you look as though you lost a fight with some manner of fel beast.

Did that fox take offense to you saying you wished to have its hide, perhaps?

Tsk! Its only intelligent move ever since it started to haunt me. Have you ever tried taking a bath only to find a magical beast trying to make off with your clean underwear? Its been asking to get skinned alive!

[Sadly for Seimei, Douman had zero qualms going commando under his robe as he gave chase. Also, don't get him started on what that fox did to his food or the painstakingly prepared paper talismans and shikigami dolls. ~~yep, they've been at it for a while now~~]

What's a fel beast?

Why, yes! I have in fact, once or twice. Those beasts are the truly fel ones!

[He grins a dark grin that never reaches his eyes.]

That is what "fel" means. Deceitful and villainous.

Much like your fox.

And chocobos, if I am parsing your earlier question correctly.

And here I thought it was just another fanciful name. [his tone of voice makes 'fanciful' sound a Lot like stupid

Douman's tempted to ask if those 'deceitful and villainous' beasts are also to blame for Fandaniel's lack of hair, but mercifully Fandaniel moves on to talking about something that interests him before things can devolve any further.]

Bou, bu, chou - who cares. What matters is if they're really any good at their job.

As swift as any horse and with the stamina to match.

You may find their distinct odor somewhat offputting.

I've known the stench of chocobo musk to make grown men faint if they were not properly braced for it.

So they stink? There's got to be something more to them that makes people recommend them...

What about their special skills? Can they fly or travel in other ways that horses can't?

Eeeyeeesss under very specific conditions.

Training is necessary, as is breeding and, in some cases, attuning the beasts to the local aether currents. As there is, strangely, no aether here that step shouldn't be necessary.

You can also train them protect you or heal you. They're very versatile creatures, you see.

Admittedly, I have not ridden one in many years. I also am not certain if the chocobos of this star are entirely the same as the ones from my home. They are certainly similar at the very least.

Eyes?

[Say what? So they're mount-sized birds with many eyes? But only under certain circumstances? What the hell?]

I trust that most of those things will already have been handled by the ones selling them.

Do you mean spirit energy with aether?

[Don't think he's missed that Fandaniel just admitted that he's way more familiar with those birds then he'd initially hinted. But also what star, stars are the smaller lights that you see at night?!!??? ??]

( happily inside and out of the heat, McCoy squints at him. points in Mr Fox's favor. )

Good Lord, release it outside! The Hell'd you think would happen, wavin' a fox around like that?

What about eyes?

Ah.

That was an elongated yes. Forgive the accent.

[He clears his throat.]

In all likelihood, the sellers know the abilities of their own birds.

[He taps his cheek, thinking.]

Oh. There is a rare red breed of chocobo. Should you chance upon one I highly recommend turning it loose in the town square.

It will be quite the spectacle.

[Do not do this.]

[excuse the delay, he's busy fox-wrestling till it's finally outside

when he replies, Douman looks decidedly even more like a bristled up cat than just earlier]

I dunno, maybe that it won't be back to eat the rest of my clothes the moment I'm not looking in less than an hour? That thing's a spirit, so I don't want to hear any of that 'poor clueless animal' crap. That's absolutely intentional!

No offense taken if you take none over me misunderstanding. I'm just too used to the language of the royal capital.

[Humbledrag more, except there's actually a little more behind Douman's huffing and puffing himself up like that. The imperial court can be a snake's nest where everybody will try to undermine the status of anybody else just to raise their own, and Douman's standing has always been somewhat perilous since he's just a comparatively low-born outsider who made his way up into the highest circles by merit alone. Add that that ass Seimei's banned him to the position of the eternally 'second' and given him an ill repute of being an 'evil' curse master, and Douman has to remind people on the daily that he's no easy picking to fashion somebody else's fame from just to stay his ground.]

They better, if they're as much like medium level shikigami as you're making them sound.

[Healing and guarding? People'd pay you those birds' weight in gold where he's from! Maybe he should get himself a breeding pair or some eggs... ]

What's that variant do?

[He squints at the 'magic mirror'. Douman is suspecting that he's slowly getting a feel for his conversation partner; at least enough to not trust that expression.]

Since you say they're rare and red, I suspect they're some kind of fire ayakashi? Since Suzaku's also called the Vermillion Bird.

[A pause.]

I'll do it if they only burn the clothes and leave everything else unscathed.

[DOUMAN!]

A spirit? Looked like a plain fox to me.

( so maybe he doesn't sound... entirely... dismissive? but he waves away his own question regardless. )

Are you all right? Did it bite you?

Some kind, yes!

[Fandaniel smirks.

So this man does not know about chocobos, only horses. He does know about shikigami and Suzaku.

Yep, Doman.]

The vermillion Auspice likely has a more controlled blaze than a red chocobo but there is only one way to test that theory.

...And we can all witness a grand fireworks display in the process!

[Douman the Doman. Yep, that sounds about right.]

Suzaku, having a proper handle on anything? [He huffs an amused scoff, smirking at the idea. The only Suzaku he knows (and likes to nick from Seimei to use as his own shikigami whenever he needs one) is a kinda stupid, good for nothing bastard who won't move an inch unless it's to peep on the ladies or do some other questionable thing for his own gain.]

We'll see about the fireworks. But you've got my interest with everything else. How do I get such a "fire mount"?

Because you don't have the eye. Ask any halfway talented priest or shrine maiden, and they'll confirm that it has more spirit energy than a room full of locals together.

In other words: it's a little too real to be just a mere animal.

I haven't figured out what kind of spirit exactly it is yet since it only shows up to annoy me and then runs, but I can already rule out enough of the usual suspects to wager a guess. [More or less.]

Anyway, yeah, I got bitten a couple of times. I've got some scratches and inhaled some hair from it, too. But that won't be a problem.

The taming of a red chocobo is no simple feat.

To earn one as a steed you must first best it in a contest of wills.

Approach the beast, climb on its back, and ride it for as long as it will allow.

[He curls a knee to his chest and rests his cheek upon it.]

Into town should suffice, for it is there you will find kind souls to help bring the chocobo to heel.

Good. It won't be worth it if it's too easy.

[There is no fame to be gained from fighting easy enemies. And having to push your will above who or whatever one wishes to make their shikigami is also a given -- none of the bound spirits truly have a say in the matter of which master they are serving.

...But that's also why Douman has never bothered to get any of his own.

This man, though.... Maybe he should check him a little better later on. Maybe he is possessed.]

And if we fail I'll get a prime front-row seat to some marvelous fireworks, will I?

You haven't introduced yourself yet.

Correct, I haven't!

[He lifts his head and smiles at the camera before reaching over to adjust the tablet against whatever surface it's leaning against.]

And you haven't either. Aren't we a pair?

[and just like that Douman's scowling again]

It's only manners that the both the lower-ranking and the senior give their names first. So, your turn.

[Fandaniel pulls his hood back up as he rolls his eyes.]

Very well.

...Do you out-rank me or am I your senior in this scenario?

I would like to know my standing before we proceed.

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video; un: ashiya-dono

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